This may have happened to you (maybe not the musical writing part), or you may know someone from an Asian background who is currently struggling as their parents had strongly expected or already had chosen a job for them.

But how many of you have bravely rejected your parents’ desires, and followed your true passion? Take it from this courageous girl, Joy Regullano. You might remember her from the viral YouTube sketch called White Fetish, or various random acting gigs like the TV Series Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (her line was “Yeah, bitch!”) or Modern Family (with her line was “You fools!”).

That’s right, Joy is quite too far from wearing a white coat. She’s an actress, comedian, and writer — every Asian parents’ nightmare. So when she told her parents that she didn’t want to be a doctor anymore, her father didn’t talk to her for 8 months. Years later, she wrote a comedy musical about it, called Supportive White Parents.

“Working on this musical has been a major part of my healing journey (my parents are imperfect people who were just passing down intergenerational trauma) and maybe it can be part of yours too,” Joy expresses.

Read through as Joy shares how she has discovered her passion for comedy, and her journey to healing and acceptance through her musical.

MY WHOLE LIFE, I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO BE A DOCTOR JUST LIKE MY PARENTS

My parents were born and raised in the Philippines. My dad grew up very poor in one of the provinces, but after scoring in the top percentage of all students across the country on an exam, he got a scholarship to a prestigious science high school in Manila that was all expenses paid. My parents met in medical school, and soon after graduating, they came to the US by way of New York. Eventually, they made their way across the country to Eagle Rock in LA and then Orange County, where I grew up. 

My whole life, I thought I was going to be a doctor just like my parents. I tried my best to be the perfect daughter. I got straight A’s and took piano lessons since I was 3 and violin lessons starting at 8. (Well, actually, I got one B+ in AP/IB Physics, but we don’t talk about that B+) I studied math outside of school at Kumon and played educational computer games because it was a productive use of my time. I read medical books my parents had lying around the house and had subscriptions to science magazines in high school, for fun.

But as I grew older, there was a part of me that was starting to love writing and making people laugh. For 7th-grade vocabulary exercises, I cared more about making my sentences funny than using the word right. My favorite part about English and Spanish group projects was writing the scripts and acting in them. I wrote bad high school poetry. But I didn’t think that was an acceptable thing to want to do with my life, so I shoved that part down, deep inside me. I did write for the school newspaper and compete in speech contests and debate teams, but that was about the extent of my (public) creative life. 

I LOVED FEELING LIKE I COULD MAKE THE AUDIENCE LAUGH AND CRY JUST BY TELLING AN HONEST STORY

I went to UC Berkeley pre-med and was planning to take over my dad’s clinic when he retired. But in the first semester of my freshman year, I got a B on my first math test and a C on my first chem test, and I panicked. After some soul-searching, I realized I wasn’t actually passionate about any of that and ended up cycling through a bunch of different majors before landing on Theater and Southeast Asian Studies.

I wrote a play in college about a friend who had passed away in high school, and when I put it up in front of an audience, I was hooked. I loved feeling like I could make the audience laugh and cry just by telling an honest story. Just by being myself. I wanted to do that for the rest of my life. I loved Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s work so much that I couldn’t even watch them for a long time because it hurt that I wasn’t doing what they were doing. 

WHITE PARENTS: A MUSICAL INSPIRED BY MY LIFE

I wrote the book and the lyrics to a comedy musical called “Supportive White Parents” about an Asian girl who tells her parents she doesn’t want to be a doctor anymore, and when they’re disappointed, she wishes on a shooting star for supportive white parents. Eventually, she learns to love her Filipino parents for who they are. My friends Sam Johnides and Tony Gonzalez wrote the music.

The musical was inspired by my life. When I told my parents I didn’t want to be a doctor like them and take over my dad’s clinic, my dad yelled at me, called me selfish, and didn’t talk to me for 8 months. I was absolutely devastated, even though I knew that making people laugh and cry was what I had been put on this earth to do. 

I felt so jealous of my white theater classmates with their seemingly endlessly supportive white parents. And funny enough, they were jealous of me because I had something called “discipline”, played multiple instruments, and knew other languages. And thus, the seed of a musical was born.

LAUGHING AT OURSELVES CAN BE ONE OF THE BEST WAYS TO HEAL

There aren’t many Asian American musicals, let alone comedy Asian American musicals. One of my teachers says that comedy is the back door to the truth. I think that laughing at ourselves can be one of the best ways to heal, as well as realizing that we are not alone. 

We as a generation are going through this together, and also, we, as well as our parents, are the products of society and intergenerational trauma. We are all imperfect people who are trying the best we can with the tools we have. 

ACCEPTANCE IS THE QUICKEST WAY TO SANITY AND PEACE

I love the serenity prayer. There are some things that we can change, and we should do what we can to change those things. There are some things we can’t change, and it’ll drive you crazy trying to. You can’t control other people. You can only control yourself. The sooner you can accept other people are how they are, the sooner you’ll stop giving your energy away. 

Also, one thing I learned that blew my mind is that it’s actually not love, to wish that your parents or family were different than who they are. If what I was asking from them was to love me for exactly who I am, with all my imperfections, isn’t that what I should be giving them too? Unconditional love and acceptance? (That’s not to say that you shouldn’t have boundaries – that could be a whole other article.) But accepting things you can’t change is the quickest way to sanity and peace. 

It’s a daily practice. But try it! After reading “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck”, I tried to imagine that I only had one f– to give a day. How much energy would I be saving by only getting bent out of shape over the most important things!? I’m not really good at giving only one f– a day. But I’ll keep trying.

One more thing – some people need to be angry before they move to acceptance. I know I did, and I still feel angry sometimes. Accepting yourself and your feelings is part of the process too. Wherever you are in your journey is okay.

CONNECT WITH JOY

Instagram: @supportivewhiteparents @joyregullano

Twitter: @swpmusical @joyregullano

Website: www.supportivewhiteparents.com

Be on the lookout for the upcoming Supportive White Parent concept album, to be released in January 2023, with singles leading up to it! 

You don’t really need to feel motivated to start — you just need to start! (easier said than done, right?)

While it’s also important to understand why you put off doing something and what causes it, what’s even more important is overcoming it.

Christopher Thang is a medical student at the University of Texas Medical Branch. He is also an Online Fat Loss Specialist certified by the National Academy of Sports Medicine.

His current mission is to help busy working professionals lose 15+ lbs in 60 days with his Progressive Eating Strategy and fitness-lifestyle optimization systems.  

Read through as Christopher shares how he manages his time as both a full-time medical student and entrepreneur.

The Chronic Procrastinator

Now, I am not saying I have the busiest schedule out there, and I definitely do not. But, I’ve included a breakdown of my time-saving strategies below that help me find time to work on my business, study for medical school exams, and travel across the US to meet clients.

My deep dive into time management started in college. I was a chronic procrastinator and always rushed to meet deadlines the night before they were due. This left me super anxious and my disorganized tendencies, unfortunately, caused me to arrive late to almost everything. It got so bad that I showed up late to or forgot about work meetings, social events, and even important family gatherings.

Eventually, I had enough of winging my schedule every day (some days I didn’t even know I had tasks due). I tried countless things to improve my time management, and after a few years of trial and error (still ongoing), I came up with these 3 approaches that helped.

Strategy 1: Time Block Everything

Simply put, I time block my entire day out on Google Calendar as the day goes along. It may sound intense, and it honestly is… But, after I delegate tasks, meetings, and other life events, I gain structure and peace of mind for the day. I’m also able to look back at each day to see what I can be more efficient on.

Now, I don’t time block out every single minute of each day a week in advance (would be overwhelming), but I plan ahead for important events. By including things such as meal prep, working out, and business meetings, I can make a micro-commitment beforehand to fit these things into my schedule.

On the day of such events, I time block my day in 15, 30, or 1 hour+ chunks. Once I gain control and understanding of my time, I leverage it to do more work in less time throughout the day (of course, I have to be realistic when time blocking out tasks). I’m also able to enjoy social events, family time, and travel without worrying about work which brings me to Strategy 2.

Strategy 2: 100% Work or 100% Relaxation

Building off of Strategy 1, I stick to a hard rule of either working 100% or relaxing 100%. I take every effort to avoid the gray area in between, where I’d end up working inefficiently or trying to relax (and failing) because work is on my mind.

So, on my calendar, I include 15-minute blocks labeled “Break” (when I’m dividing up work into several chunks using the Pomodoro Method) and long hours blocked off for “Social Events” or “Family Time.”

Of course, life happens frequently, and sometimes events may take longer/shorter than expected or something may come up that interrupts my entire schedule. This brings me to Strategy 3 below.

Strategy 3: Plan Ahead, But Be Flexible

Whenever something unexpected happens, I time block it out in my calendar and shift everything down (Google Calendar lets me click and drag events around on my phone really easily).

Sometimes I shift down tasks so much that I have to move them on to the next day (if possible), but I remind myself to stay realistic if life suddenly hits on some days.

Connect with Christopher 

Now, I didn’t develop these approaches overnight, and they took time to develop into daily habits.

However, I hope my strategies would be able to inspire others to stay mindful of their time and perhaps try some of my approaches to elevate their personal lives and hustles.

Linkedin: Christopher Thang

Instagram: @christopher.thang

Website: https://www.hgbtconsulting.com/free-case-study