Her Father Ignored Her For 8 Months When She No Longer Wanted To Be A Doctor

Stories

December 13, 2022

This may have happened to you (maybe not the musical writing part), or you may know someone from an Asian background who is currently struggling as their parents had strongly expected or already had chosen a job for them.

But how many of you have bravely rejected your parents’ desires, and followed your true passion? Take it from this courageous girl, Joy Regullano. You might remember her from the viral YouTube sketch called White Fetish, or various random acting gigs like the TV Series Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (her line was “Yeah, bitch!”) or Modern Family (with her line was “You fools!”).

That’s right, Joy is quite too far from wearing a white coat. She’s an actress, comedian, and writer — every Asian parents’ nightmare. So when she told her parents that she didn’t want to be a doctor anymore, her father didn’t talk to her for 8 months. Years later, she wrote a comedy musical about it, called Supportive White Parents.

“Working on this musical has been a major part of my healing journey (my parents are imperfect people who were just passing down intergenerational trauma) and maybe it can be part of yours too,” Joy expresses.

Read through as Joy shares how she has discovered her passion for comedy, and her journey to healing and acceptance through her musical.

MY WHOLE LIFE, I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO BE A DOCTOR JUST LIKE MY PARENTS

My parents were born and raised in the Philippines. My dad grew up very poor in one of the provinces, but after scoring in the top percentage of all students across the country on an exam, he got a scholarship to a prestigious science high school in Manila that was all expenses paid. My parents met in medical school, and soon after graduating, they came to the US by way of New York. Eventually, they made their way across the country to Eagle Rock in LA and then Orange County, where I grew up.

My whole life, I thought I was going to be a doctor just like my parents. I tried my best to be the perfect daughter. I got straight A’s and took piano lessons since I was 3 and violin lessons starting at 8. (Well, actually, I got one B+ in AP/IB Physics, but we don’t talk about that B+) I studied math outside of school at Kumon and played educational computer games because it was a productive use of my time. I read medical books my parents had lying around the house and had subscriptions to science magazines in high school, for fun.

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But as I grew older, there was a part of me that was starting to love writing and making people laugh. For 7th-grade vocabulary exercises, I cared more about making my sentences funny than using the word right. My favorite part about English and Spanish group projects was writing the scripts and acting in them. I wrote bad high school poetry. But I didn’t think that was an acceptable thing to want to do with my life, so I shoved that part down, deep inside me. I did write for the school newspaper and compete in speech contests and debate teams, but that was about the extent of my (public) creative life.

But as I grew older, there was a part of me that was starting to love writing and making people laugh.
-Joy Regullano

I LOVED FEELING LIKE I COULD MAKE THE AUDIENCE LAUGH AND CRY JUST BY TELLING AN HONEST STORY

I went to UC Berkeley pre-med and was planning to take over my dad’s clinic when he retired. But in the first semester of my freshman year, I got a B on my first math test and a C on my first chem test, and I panicked. After some soul-searching, I realized I wasn’t actually passionate about any of that and ended up cycling through a bunch of different majors before landing on Theater and Southeast Asian Studies.

I wrote a play in college about a friend who had passed away in high school, and when I put it up in front of an audience, I was hooked. I loved feeling like I could make the audience laugh and cry just by telling an honest story. Just by being myself. I wanted to do that for the rest of my life. I loved Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s work so much that I couldn’t even watch them for a long time because it hurt that I wasn’t doing what they were doing.

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WHITE PARENTS: A MUSICAL INSPIRED BY MY LIFE

I wrote the book and the lyrics to a comedy musical called “Supportive White Parents” about an Asian girl who tells her parents she doesn’t want to be a doctor anymore, and when they’re disappointed, she wishes on a shooting star for supportive white parents. Eventually, she learns to love her Filipino parents for who they are. My friends Sam Johnides and Tony Gonzalez wrote the music.

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The musical was inspired by my life. When I told my parents I didn’t want to be a doctor like them and take over my dad’s clinic, my dad yelled at me, called me selfish, and didn’t talk to me for 8 months. I was absolutely devastated, even though I knew that making people laugh and cry was what I had been put on this earth to do.

I felt so jealous of my white theater classmates with their seemingly endlessly supportive white parents. And funny enough, they were jealous of me because I had something called “discipline”, played multiple instruments, and knew other languages. And thus, the seed of a musical was born.

Eventually, she learns to love her Filipino parents for who they are.
-Joy Regullano

LAUGHING AT OURSELVES CAN BE ONE OF THE BEST WAYS TO HEAL

There aren’t many Asian American musicals, let alone comedy Asian American musicals. One of my teachers says that comedy is the back door to the truth. I think that laughing at ourselves can be one of the best ways to heal, as well as realizing that we are not alone.

We as a generation are going through this together, and also, we, as well as our parents, are the products of society and intergenerational trauma. We are all imperfect people who are trying the best we can with the tools we have.

ACCEPTANCE IS THE QUICKEST WAY TO SANITY AND PEACE

I love the serenity prayer. There are some things that we can change, and we should do what we can to change those things. There are some things we can’t change, and it’ll drive you crazy trying to. You can’t control other people. You can only control yourself. The sooner you can accept other people are how they are, the sooner you’ll stop giving your energy away.

Also, one thing I learned that blew my mind is that it’s actually not love, to wish that your parents or family were different than who they are. If what I was asking from them was to love me for exactly who I am, with all my imperfections, isn’t that what I should be giving them too? Unconditional love and acceptance? (That’s not to say that you shouldn’t have boundaries – that could be a whole other article.) But accepting things you can’t change is the quickest way to sanity and peace.

If what I was asking from them was to love me for exactly who I am, with all my imperfections, isn’t that what I should be giving them too?
-Joy Regullano

It’s a daily practice. But try it! After reading “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck”, I tried to imagine that I only had one f– to give a day. How much energy would I be saving by only getting bent out of shape over the most important things!? I’m not really good at giving only one f– a day. But I’ll keep trying.

One more thing – some people need to be angry before they move to acceptance. I know I did, and I still feel angry sometimes. Accepting yourself and your feelings is part of the process too. Wherever you are in your journey is okay.

CONNECT WITH JOY

Instagram: @supportivewhiteparents @joyregullano

Twitter: @swpmusical @joyregullano

Website: www.supportivewhiteparents.com

Be on the lookout for the upcoming Supportive White Parent concept album, to be released in January 2023, with singles leading up to it!

News

Culinary Icon Leeann Chin’s Journey to Building an Asian Cuisine Empire in Minnesota

Many Minnesotans are familiar with the name Leeann Chin and her beloved chain of Chinese restaurants across the state. But not everyone knows the extraordinary story behind her rise to success.

In 1980, at the age of 47, Leeann, a determined Chinese woman, opened her first restaurant in Minnetonka. Her life wasn’t easy from the start. She was forced into marriage as a young girl and moved to Minnesota with her husband.

Life in Minnesota was tough for Leeann. She had to raise six children in a small house with just one bathroom. Despite all the challenges, she remained strong and devoted to her family.

Cooking became Leeann’s way of expressing love, even though she didn’t say it with words. When her older daughter tragically passed away, Leeann found comfort in the kitchen, and her passion for cooking grew. Her delicious Chinese dishes quickly gained fame when she catered a luncheon for her sewing clients. They loved her food so much that they encouraged her to teach cooking and cater more events.

With hard work, Leeann’s restaurant business flourished. She even got support from unexpected sources, like Carl Pohlad, the owner of the Minnesota Twins, thanks to a party she catered where Sean Connery, the famous actor, was a guest.

As word spread about her delectable dishes, lines of eager customers formed around her restaurant, and her culinary empire flourished. In time, General Mills acquired her successful chain, marking a remarkable milestone in her journey.

Leeann’s passion for cooking didn’t end with her success; it carried on through her daughter Katie Chin, who also pursued a career as a chef. Together, they became celebrated national TV cooking stars, preserving Leeann’s legacy for future generations.

Today, Katie honors her mother’s memory with a cookbook, showcasing Leeann’s cherished recipes, including the famous chicken chow mein.

Featured Image Source: Pioneer Press

Jul 25, 2023
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News

Korean Mompreneur Created Solar-Powered Solutions to Combat Air Pollution and Aid Disaster Zones

Inspired by her son’s asthma diagnosis, NYC local mom Alice Min Soo Chun decided to take action against air pollution, leading to the creation of innovative solar-powered solutions. Now, her groundbreaking solar technology is making a significant impact in regions affected by disasters, including war-torn Ukraine.

Her latest invention, the Mega Puff, is a fantastic foldable lantern that can also charge your phone. Unlike other solar chargers that take forever to charge, the Mega Puff does it in just one day. This smart mom has already donated thousands of these lanterns to help disaster victims.

As a child growing up outside Syracuse, Alice faced the harsh reality of bullying due to her Korean heritage. She found comfort in making origami with her mom. Later on, she became a teacher and launched her own company, Solight, to help others.

Since then, she has sold over one million solar-powered products and her efforts caught the attention of prominent figures like Disney CEO Bob Iger, who championed her cause after reading about her work.

Alice Min Soo Chun said to ABC7NY, “Small things matter, but if we all work collectively, we can change the world.”

Featured Image Source: MSNBC

Jul 24, 2023
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News

A New Family-Inspired Eatery Brings Vietnamese and Chinese Cuisine to Superior, Wisconsin

William Asian Food to Go, a charming new eatery nestled at Superior, Wisconsin, has recently entered the culinary scene, offering a delightful blend of Vietnamese and Chinese cuisine.

The name of the restaurant has special meaning for the proprietors because it honors their 4-year-old son, William Tran. The devoted owners, Dung Tran and Nguyet Ho, have filled the entire business with their familial love. Their gifted 9-year-old daughter Ngoc’s meticulously created artwork lends the interior decor a lively charm.

“The reason we opened this one is not for me and my wife, it’s for them,” Tran said to Superior Telegram.

Drawing upon their Vietnamese heritage, the couple presents a diverse menu that artfully captures the authentic flavors of Vietnam and China. Whether you crave fried rice, spring rolls, stir-fry, rice vermicelli dishes, or Vietnamese sandwiches, every dish is expertly prepared and made fresh to order.

Bringing nearly 15 years of culinary expertise to the table, Tran’s skills are well-reflected in the dishes he crafts with passion and precision. Notably, his brother once ran the beloved Pho Cali restaurant in Superior from 2017 to 2022, contributing to Tran’s local connection and commitment to providing an exceptional dining experience.

Although starting the company has been difficult, Ho and Tran are excited to see it expand. They are unwavering in their commitment to the family, making sure that the warmth and affection that gave birth to William Asian Food to Go are now at the core of their business.

Featured Image Source: Superior Telegram

Jul 23, 2023
2 min read

Stories

Immigrant Mother Pursues Her Passion for Fashion After Long Deferral to Raise Her Children

Michelle Jing Chan is a Chinese American artist and children’s book illustrator who, in an interview with Asian Hustle Network, opens up about her mother’s remarkable journey as a first-generation immigrant and the profound impact it has had on their relationship.

Michelle’s mother, May, is a survivor of Mao Zedong’s reign. She emigrated from Guangzhou, China, to California, facing numerous challenges along the way. She pursued her passion for fashion, but eventually put her dreams on hold to raise Michelle and her brother in Colorado.

After retirement, May embarked on a new venture where she creates Chinese-inspired baby clothes and puts them up for sale. The response from the community has been overwhelmingly positive, with many people showing keen interest in purchasing her creations.

In this article, Michelle shares a heartfelt glimpse into her mother’s story and their shared journeys. Join us as we explore May’s experiences as a first-generation immigrant, from surviving challenging times to embracing a new life in the United States.

HER MOTHER’S IMMIGRANT JOURNEY

Michelle: I’m a Chinese American artist and children’s book illustrator. I grew up in Colorado and now live in the Pacific Northwest. Although my background is in engineering and business, my passion is in art and storytelling–particularly in stories that empower queer and Asian youth to be their authentic selves.

My mom is a first-generation immigrant who grew up in Guangzhou, China, and emigrated to California in her early twenties. In China, she and her family survived Mao Zedong’s reign and the struggles that it brought, including facing famine, almost losing one of her sisters in an accident at a labor camp, and being targeted by Red Guards for my grandfather’s opposition to Mao during the Cultural Revolution.

When they emigrated to the US, they lived near LA and had a robust community of other Chinese immigrants. However, my mom and her family were poor and didn’t speak English. The rest of her family all found service jobs. Similarly, my mom worked as a waitress at a restaurant near Hollywood.

PUTTING DREAMS ON HOLD

Early in the morning before the restaurant opened, she would attend adult English classes. She always had an interest in fashion and it became even stronger after working near Hollywood and seeing designers and celebrities come into the restaurant. She saved up enough money to go to school and study fashion design. During that time, she continued to work at the restaurant on weekends and at a fashion company after school.

After completing her program, she planned to enter the fashion industry in California. However, she met my dad, a first-generation immigrant from Hong Kong, through a family friend. They got married and she moved to Colorado where my dad lived, and they had me and my brother shortly afterwards. In Colorado, opportunities in fashion design were much scarcer than in LA.

She decided to put her own dreams on the back burner and became a stay-at-home parent, dedicating the next decade and a half of her life to raising me and my brother. It wasn’t until I was in high school that she started working again, and she didn’t return to the fashion industry until a few additional years later.

MICHELLE’S RELATIONSHIP WITH HER MOM

Growing up, I was very close to my mom, but I don’t think I fully grasped the emotional weight of what it must have been like for her to sacrifice her career for her children. I definitely took for granted the fact that my mom was always able to pick us up after school and had the time and energy to make clothes and Halloween costumes for us, tailor clothes if they didn’t fit, and come up with other creative craft projects to keep us entertained.

As an adult now–especially as a creative myself–I understand more fully how isolating and difficult that sacrifice must have been. Also, our town in Colorado is conservative and not very diverse, so the adjustment for her coming from LA must have also been challenging and lonely. What strikes me now is how unselfish and giving she is. She has never voiced resentment for the educational or creative opportunities that I’ve had even though she didn’t have access to those same doors herself.

While my parents and I didn’t see eye to eye on my career in children’s book illustration at first, they are now some of my biggest cheerleaders. In fact, being in a creative career myself has allowed me to bond with my mom in a new way as she is embarking on her own creative journey. We can now connect over our creative passions, which is a new dimension to our relationship that didn’t exist before.

CREATING CHINESE-INSPIRED BABY CLOTHES

My mom loves kids and designing kids’ clothes. As I mentioned earlier, she made clothes for us growing up–including many of our Halloween costumes! She also loves Chinese fashion and still has suitcases of clothes from her life in LA. As she and my dad are now retired, pursuing this new venture seemed like a natural integration of these interests.

She uses Gerber brand onesies and transforms them into Chinese-inspired designs by adding ribbons, gold fabric, and traditional qipao-style buttons. She sews all these designs by herself in my childhood home.

She’s blown away by the response to her shop so far and is still processing the influx of orders! (Thank you again to the AHN community!) She wants to expand into clothes for toddlers and perhaps someday, older kids as well. In my eyes, the sky’s the limit for her and her talent and I’m excited to see where she goes from here.

VALUES MICHELLE INHERITED FROM HER MOM

The biggest thing she has taught me is how to have a strong work ethic. My mom, dad, and my grandparents work harder than anyone I know. Now as an adult, I carry that with me always.

MICHELLE’S MESSAGE TO HER MOM

Thank you for everything you’ve done for me and my brother. I know it’s a debt I will never be able to repay, but I hope I can give you a small fraction by supporting your creative dreams like you’ve come to support mine.