Awaken* newsletter

September 12, 2024

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In the half-year I’ve been writing this newsletter I have only interviewed established founders. This article is my first deviation from the pattern and I couldn’t have asked for a better guest. Emily Luk–though a first-time founder–is not new to startups, having joined Stripe as a founding member of their growth team back when the company was around ~150 employees.

Now, she is building Plenty, an investment platform for modern couples. Talking to Emily has convinced me of two things, first–that this is a very large and important problem, second–that Emily is probably the right person to build it. I’m excited to share my conversation with her.

TLDR; Key Takeaways

If you only have a few moments, here are a few golden nuggets from my conversation with Emily:

  • An exercise to find your calling: Write down everything that makes you happy, ~100 words. Keep cutting the list in half until you have five words. What’s the grounding/theme that goes through all five? That’s a good starting point to find your calling.
  • Address opportunity costs before starting a company: Running a successful startup is a long journey, the average time to IPO is 7-10 years. If possible, do the things you’d regret missing out on before embarking on your journey.
  • Aspiring founders should focus on developing taste: As a founder, you don’t need to do everything personally yourself, but you need to know what great looks like. Working alongside great talent can help you develop this intuition.
  • Being relatable is a core part of business: People are much more likely to do business with you if they can relate to you. Put in some effort to learn about common interests of the type of people you want to do business with.
  • We are in the middle of a generational shift: 33% of millennials got married or entered a long-term partnership in the past five years. This is the first generation where dual-income families are normal.
  • Financial products for couples need an update: Many financial products used today were built for single-income households and aren’t adapted for dual-income families.

Tell me about your journey, how did you end up in the Bay Area/tech?

It goes pretty far back. My grandfather started two companies. One he ran for 20 years, and the other for 25 years. Then my parents emigrated to Canada, started this company, and ran it for 18 years. Growing up, I thought most people started companies. It wasn’t until my grade seven careers class, where they walked you through all the different careers and had a chart about the percentage of people in each career, that I realized entrepreneurs are less than 10% of the population. I thought it was a much higher percentage because everyone around my parents was an entrepreneur. I have always been interested in starting businesses. I was that stereotypical kid who kept running side hustles.

I read that your first entrepreneurial endeavor was a fundraiser for UNICEF.

Yeah, it was grade one, and the teacher decided to have a competition to raise money for UNICEF. The idea was to go trick-or-treating using those orange UNICEF boxes to collect donations. I lived in Edmonton at the time, which is the most populated city that far north, so winter was basically already here by Halloween. We had this competition in class to see how much money people could raise, but my parents were really worried my brother and I would get sick if we went trick-or-treating outside when there was already a foot of snow on the ground. I really wanted to make sure I wasn’t going to lose in the UNICEF competition, so instead, I decided to take a bunch of origami, fold it into different shapes like planes and boats, and sell it during recess to the teachers. All the money went to UNICEF. This was my way of being like, “Okay, great, I can do this all the time during recess for a month,” and then raise enough money instead of going trick-or-treating as a workaround for that.

Let’s go back to your story.

I’d already started my own company in high school and had been really involved with startups in university, running a student-run venture fund that organized pitch nights. Because of these experiences, I had the chance to work at the largest VC fund in Canada when I graduated.  It was an incredible experience because we got to see a large breadth of startups during that vintage. Some of the companies I personally worked on included Sonder in their pre-seed stage and Hopper in the earlier days. About two years into my time in a venture, my younger brother told me he was thinking of moving to the Bay Area when he graduated from Waterloo. We’re very close, and I wanted to be in the same city as him. Around the same time, I was thinking about applying for jobs. My brother wasn’t going to graduate yet, but I figured I would start looking for a job there. And so I started applying for some jobs and just started talking to more people and getting more involved in the Bay Area. 

Right around the same time, Stripe ended up reaching out to me. I had met members of their team, and this was back when the company was like 150 people. The company was much smaller; they had just hired a COO and were just starting to build up their business and growth teams. We chatted about whether I would be interested in joining the stuff they were doing on the growth side. Around the same time, I had gotten connected to Gold House founder Bing Chen. I went to Bing for career advice because I had a couple of other opportunities that were also in the Bay which I was considering. I was 22 years old, trying to figure out what to do with these opportunities in front of me. On top of that, I was potentially moving to another country on the other side of the continent. I don’t even know if Bing will remember this, but it left such a mark on me. He walked me through an exercise he did when he was in university. It was something he found really helpful to understand your own values and what brings you joy. 

The exercise he walked me through was to start with an empty piece of paper and write down, in free form, everything that makes you happy. Anything that brings you joy—it can be an item, an exercise, or an activity. I jotted down like 100 different words. Then he said, “Now start to cut it down. Cut it in half. Take the ones that don’t matter. Now you have 50. Now cut it down to 25.” This is when it starts to get really hard. “Now cut it down to 10. Now cut it down to 5.” With the last five words, is there a grounding or a theme that goes through all of it? If those are the things that really bring you joy after you’ve processed this and wondered, that’s probably a very good starting point to think about what you dedicate your time to.

So what were your last five words?

For me, I remember really thinking about how I loved making and empowering. That was one of the words that came out. It was empowering, teaching. I really believed in it. At the time, I had done my CPA and CFA when I was in venture, and I really understood and saw how in the world of finance, things were so opaque. I had also thought a lot about family and friends, and I started thinking about how those words could formulate into almost like my North Star. Big credit to Bing; after I went through that exercise, the answer was very obvious to me. What was so exciting about joining Stripe back in 2015 was that we were really focused on helping SMBs and startups in this opaque world of finance. At the time, payment companies were used to dealing with massive enterprises, so if you were a startup or an SMB, you basically didn’t matter. The products were terrible, it was hard to integrate, and the process of using the product was terrible. For many entrepreneurs, being able to accept money for your product or service is a critical part of running your business. If you don’t have revenue, nothing else works.

For me, it was so obvious that of all the opportunities I had been looking at, Stripe was clearly the best one. Ironically, now in hindsight, I can say this: the other thing that was really crazy was when I decided to join Stripe, I didn’t know my title. I actually forgot to ask what my title was until I received the offer letter. I didn’t even bother asking. I knew what I was going to work on, and I knew who I was going to work with. It was also by far the lowest salary package compared to all the other companies. Given how much Stripe has grown, it’s definitely turned into the best decision. At the time when I joined, it was so clear that it aligned with the things I cared about most. The other things like compensation or title just didn’t matter as much.

You took a sabbatical from work before starting Plenty in 2022. What inspired the sabbatical?

When my parents started their business, they ran it for 18 years. My grandparents ran their businesses for almost 20-25 years. So, I never thought of starting a company as a quick two to three-year journey. I thought it would be a very long journey, and I wanted to feel like I was ready to commit that kind of time and have that kind of endurance. That was one part that was really important. Travel is very important to me–being able to see the world. I knew that if I didn’t have this period of travel, I would always wonder if I missed out.

Part of how I thought about the mental preparation to become a founder is being able to think about how it might feel. One of the parts that helps with the mental endurance of it is being able to realize what might make it harder and, if possible, try to solve some of that earlier. The sabbatical year was basically that. If I didn’t have it, I would look back at the very hard moments when you need to keep going when you’re starting a company and think, “Oh man, maybe I should just stop. Maybe now I can have my travel year because I never had it. Was it worth the sacrifice?” I think it just makes it so much harder instead of getting ahead of it.

What made you feel that it was the right time to start your founder journey? 

I think of myself as a lifelong learner. When I experience anything in life, I immediately start to think about what I can learn, what I can do differently, what I would do in the future, and what might have changed the outcome. That is deeply ingrained in who I am. I realized I would probably always feel like there was more to learn and never feel ready.

My mother had a philosophy when she was running her company: you don’t need to do everything personally yourself, but you need to know what great looks like. You need to have enough exposure to know what great products, sales, and marketing look like and have that intuition. You don’t have to do every single thing personally, and frankly, you can’t. There was a point at which I realized I had been exposed to enough people who did their jobs great and did really great work. That shift in mindset was really valuable. I thought, “I might not ever feel ready, and that’s okay, but I’ve also had some experience, so maybe it is time to take a bet on myself.”

For young people who aspire to start their own business in the future, would you say that the function of what they are doing is secondary to who they are around?

Here’s how I approached it when I was at Stripe. I was really lucky because Stripe had an incredibly high talent bar. I was surrounded by so many people. I was also the youngest person on the business team, so I was surrounded by all these people who were 5, 10, 15 years ahead of me career-wise. They were at the top of their game at what they did, and I just tried to be as much of a sponge as possible. I also moved teams a couple of times, which helped with getting exposure to a lot of parts of the organization.

One of the things I’m most grateful for is that Stripe used to have this policy where every email that is sent across teams or externally, is copied to an email list so anyone in the company can read it. It’s complete email transparency. They don’t do this anymore, but for the entirety of the time that I was there, that’s what they did. Also, every single team had to send meeting notes at the end of every meeting to these email lists, and anyone in the company could read the meeting notes. Every one or two months, I would really focus on understanding what another team did. For example, when I was on the sales team, I’d really focus on what the partnership team did and read every single one of their meeting notes for two months. Then I would rotate to another team. I spent a month thinking about risk and compliance, a month reading everything in the world related to the legal side of things, and then I would rotate to what product is doing, what engineering is doing, and how infrastructure works.

It felt like I created my own mini-MBA because I got to see not just the theory but how all functions actually work in a company. I took being a sponge really seriously. It was honestly so fun for me. I know it was rare to have access to all of this knowledge, to have that quality of thought and quality of people around me that I could easily learn from.

Could that be replicated at larger companies?

It’s really only startups where you can get that level of access. Another thing that benefited my learning was that Stripe was growing rapidly while I was there. It grew from a couple hundred to a couple thousand people during my time there. Because it was growing so quickly, I saw many chapters of a startup during that time. There was such an emphasis on communication. Because the company was growing so quickly, documentation was especially critical so that work was not duplicated. That, I think, is one of the unique growth opportunities of being in a startup that is harder to get access to when you’re at a big company.

Given that you come from a family of entrepreneurs, do you find yourself asking your parents and grandparents for business advice?

I definitely talk to them about work a lot more after starting my company. Before I started Plenty, when I talked to them about work, it was sometimes a little frustrating because they’d say, “Why don’t you just ask for the promotion?” I’d be like, “Mom, it doesn’t work like that. You have to earn it and wait your time.” My mom, being an ultra-entrepreneur, thinks it’s exclusively merit-based. In reality, in a big organization, there are performance cycles, and you have to wait six months. You can’t just suddenly say, “I want to be promoted today,” and have a multi-hundred or multi-thousand-person organization just say yes. It doesn’t work like that. 

At that time, it was much harder to ask for career advice. But now, it’s really helpful because my parents deeply understand. It’s not even the practical business advice, frankly; it’s the emotional journey. It’s so hard to hire, support someone to perform, deal with a supplier not living up to expectations, or have a backup plan in case things don’t work out. These are all fairly generalizable pieces of advice that have been incredibly helpful. More than anything, starting a company is an extremely lonely experience. It’s been incredible to talk to my parents, not about the specifics like our cost per click, but about the emotional aspects. It’s hard to feel the pressure of needing to have all the answers and supporting your team’s families. They instinctively understand it on an emotional level, which doesn’t need to be explained.

What is the core problem that inspired you to start Plenty?

If you look at the two generations that are going to undergo the largest amounts of change in the next decade, it’s the baby boomers (who we are not optimistic about being able to sell software to), and then the millennial generation. The reality is that millennials are now turning 30, and this chapter from 30 to 40 years old is generally when you find a partner, buy a house, have kids, and get promoted. There’s so much change that happens. If you navigate your finances well during this chapter, you can set yourself up for the rest of your life.

We saw that it’s also the chapter where people want to take their finances more seriously. They’re actively looking for things to do, but if you’re building up to your first million dollars, there aren’t great products or services meant for that. Once you get over a million dollars, there are lots of financial advisors who are really good and can help you, but why would the best financial advisors want to work with clients with less capital? What we saw was that this industry doesn’t have the best people working with the people who arguably need the most help.

The other aspect of Plenty came from personal experience. When Channing and I got engaged, we couldn’t find any products that made it easy for us to manage our money together. We believe very deeply that the best decisions we make as a partnership are the ones we make together, and that financial decisions are very important in unlocking optionality down the road. If there aren’t great products that make it easy for you to work together, then you’re probably going to have a much harder time trying to figure out things in the future too, right? Those two things were the core motivations for starting Plenty.

Why do you think there is a gap in products to help couples manage their finances in tandem?

Nowadays, it’s normal to be dual-income because both people are educated and everything costs more. It’s more fulfilling to feel like you both have careers and jobs, and it might be necessary in order to support a family. At this point, about 80% of this generation are dual-income families and couples. 

This used to not be the case. In the two generations before us, the majority of people were single-income families. A lot of the financial products we use today were designed by people who were single-income household members of other single-income households. So it completely makes sense why they designed a lot of joint products the way they did because it used to make sense, but it doesn’t make sense anymore. 

One example of this is if you look at American Express or Chase, there is no concept of a joint credit card. You are both legally on the hook for paying the bill, but both of you don’t get to see what you’ve spent. That doesn’t make sense. So if you get a credit card with Chase and add your partner to it, your partner doesn’t even get a login. They can’t see anything, even though they have a credit card with their name on it. American Express is quirky in a different way. We have both of these cards and from personal experience, when you add your partner to an American Express card, they can only see what they spent on their card. They cannot see what you’ve spent on the main card, even though you both share the card. 

There are all these little bumps related to access or permission, but it dates back to a time when it was very normal for one person to earn an income, but it’s not very normal anymore. People and couples nowadays expect to have fairly equal access to understanding their money together. It’s not the same as, “Oh, if they know everything, that’s fine. I don’t need to know anything.” That’s just not nearly as common anymore. Nowadays, conversations around family finances are happening with both people being more equal than ever before. 

What we also noticed is that because people are getting married later than ever, they are already used to having their own financial accounts. Even after getting married, maybe they open up some things that they share. But it’s a journey towards sharing more of their finances. They still have things under each of our names. A lot of the financial system was built around the reality of the single-income family that had everything fully joined. But that’s just not the case anymore. That has changed especially quickly in the last five years. Five years ago 33% of this generation was married, and now almost 60-70% of this generation is married or in a long-term partnership.

How do you think being Asian has impacted your founder’s journey? 

For better or worse, I have been on the other end of bias, but not because I’m Asian. At least, I think not because I’m Asian. But for other reasons, like being part of a husband and wife team. I’ve even had a VC comment about how he would never report to his wife. I don’t think anyone has ever explicitly called out the fact that I was Asian, but it is something that I am aware of. And here’s the reason why. I feel like I have to work extra hard to be relatable, and frankly, there are assumptions that people have.

My husband is from Virginia and his family’s been in the US for a while. Lots of people are surprised when I mention that I’m the sports person in the relationship. I watch basketball, I watch football, I know the players, and he doesn’t watch any of it. Even when we’re in conversations with potential investors, they’re surprised by that. I don’t know why that might be the case, but I joke about it. I say, you probably wouldn’t have expected a short little Canadian Asian female to know this much about football, right? 

I do think what you like to talk about is important. When it comes to attracting business partners, of course, the way you think about business and strategy makes people want to work with you. But there’s another aspect to it. If someone feels like you have something in common with them, they think that you can be a friend. Whether or not they want to spend more time with you is actually really impactful for whether or not they want to back you.

I think I’ve always been aware that I have to work extra hard to be relatable, but I don’t try to spend too much time thinking about it beyond thinking of ways that I can support other Asian founders, because it’s not something I can change. Frankly, I just focus on what needs to be done. I’ve always enjoyed football, but I’ve definitely put in the effort to stay aware of what’s going on because I know it is something that is unexpected when I talk about it.

I’ve talked to a few female CEOs whose husbands are also part of the company. Can you comment on what that’s like?

I think it might be happening more frequently as we go along. I mean, it makes a lot of sense, right? There is no one else in your life that you respect, admire, and trust to that degree. Building a startup is not an easy or linear path. In those moments where you’re like, “Oh gosh, what should we do?” not needing to doubt if you’re building with the right person or if you can trust that person is actually so important. It helps stabilize you through the hard moments because you know they’re in it with you, you can trust them completely, and they care about you. That psychological trust is crucial.

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Plenty is hiring! If you are interested in working with Emily to build financial tools for the modern couple, check out the available job listings here!

Emily has also graciously offered a 3-month free promo code for our readers. If you are interested in trying out Plenty, use code AHNCommunity to get 3 months free. Thank you Emily for joining us!

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Stories

This Formerly Homeless Nurse Is Helping the Homeless and Empowering Women Through Project Peace Clothing

Having experienced homelessness himself, Alex Nguyen knows firsthand how challenging it can be to not have even the basic essentials.

Growing up as a first-generation Vietnamese child, raised by a single mother who had him at a young age, Alex faced many challenges that most of us can’t even imagine. But instead of letting his difficult past define him, he decided to take action. This is what inspired him to start Project Peace Clothing.

Alex admits that he has dealt with some trauma and mental health issues growing up, and for this he decided to undergo a three-and-a-half-year therapy. Now, Alex is a mental health nurse, slowly working towards his psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner degree. He’s passionate about helping people who struggle with mental health issues, especially those in the addiction population and the homeless community.

Through his clothing line, Alex is not only advocating for mental wellness and women’s empowerment, but he’s also helping the homeless community. For every purchase from Project Peace Clothing, Alex gives another homeless person not just the basic survival needs like food and water, but also a piece of clothing to help keep them warm on cold nights.

Alex’s past has made him more compassionate and empathetic towards homeless people, and he’s using his experiences to make a positive impact on the world. He believes that intentional acts of kindness, even if unnoticed, can cause a ripple effect that touches the lives of many.

Join us as we take a closer look at the inspiring story of Alex Nguyen and his mission to spread peace, love, and kindness through Project Peace Clothing.

MOVING FROM PLACES TO PLACES

Alex’s mother was only 17 years old when she became pregnant with him by his father, who fled the country when Alex was just one year old. Growing up was challenging for both Alex and his mother, as they never had a stable place to live. They frequently moved from place to place because the rent was difficult to pay, and there were times they slept in their car or rented a motel day by day. While his mother was at work, Alex was often left with other relatives, and she eventually dropped out of college to support him.

During his college years, Alex continued to face challenges. He lived in a garage at a friend’s house for several years and worked two jobs while studying. He even had to carpool with two friends because he didn’t have a car, and he didn’t have any support besides himself. Despite all of this, he persevered and graduated in 2017, hoping that his life would finally turn for the better.

A SENSE OF FULFILLMENT AND HAPPINESS

Growing up in an unstable household without a parental figure to guide him, Alex learned everything on his own and developed a survival mentality. He made friends and reached out to distant relatives for support, and started working at a young age to make ends meet. For a long time, he believed that money was the solution to all his problems.

After graduating and becoming a nurse in 2018, Alex began working over 60 hours a week. It was also around this time that he  realized he was suffering from mental illness. He had been independent for so long that he didn’t realize the toll it had taken on his mental health.

By 2021, Alex was working three jobs and neglecting his physical and mental health. One day, while at work, he permanently damaged his lower back when he tried to catch a falling patient. 

He was forced to leave two of his three jobs and had time to reflect on his life. It was during this period that he realized that caring for others, particularly those suffering from mental illness, gave him a sense of fulfillment and happiness. He realized that money did not bring him happiness.

Alex started transitioning to become a mental health nurse and is now pursuing a degree as a Psychiatric Mental Health NP. He finds peace and happiness in helping those in need and believes that this is his true calling in life.

PROJECT PEACE CLOTHING

Alex’s own experiences with homelessness growing up inspired him to start Project Peace Clothing. He remembers the freezing nights sleeping in his car and can empathize with those who are currently experiencing homelessness. He believes that his ability to put himself in other people’s shoes and feel their suffering comes from having experienced similar hardships himself. Alex cares deeply for those without housing and acknowledges that many people struggle to empathize with the homeless due to stereotypes and misconceptions.

While working as a nurse, Alex would create care packages for those without housing, which he would distribute during the day or at night. He would buy supplies from Costco and Walmart, put them together in bags, and leave a few in his car to hand out when he saw someone in need. However, he wanted to do more than just provide care packages. He wanted to provide clothes and warmth to those who need them, particularly at night when the temperatures drop.

This desire to make a bigger impact led Alex to start Project Peace Clothing. Through this initiative, he hopes to provide warmth and comfort to the homeless community by distributing blankets, jackets, hats, and other clothing items. Alex’s firsthand experience with homelessness has taught him the importance of basic necessities such as warm clothing, and he is passionate about helping those in need.

The Empower Women collection was inspired by Alex’s girlfriend of 10 years. “I wouldn’t be here today without her,” he said. This collection aims to promote positive messages that make women feel good and valued.”

THAT WAS PEACE

Project Peace Clothing has had a significant impact on the community so far, despite its small scale. As a nurse and student, Alex dedicates his time to helping people both at work and outside of work.

Alex also shares a heartwarming story about a recent encounter he had while ordering one of his favorite desserts called che, a Vietnamese dessert:

“I saw a young homeless Asian pacing back and forth in front of the shop. He reminded me of myself, and something deep inside me wanted to talk to him. I asked him, “Hey, are you hungry? Do you want anything?” He responded that he wished to have the Che 3 Mau, but here at the Hien Khanh, there are a few options, so I got all of the possibilities with some extra savory food for him to share with others.

As I gave him the food, I remember he told me, “How’s your day?” I responded, “It’s good, thank you.” I walked back to my girlfriend, and when I was about to reverse, I saw him in my mirror, looking up into the sky after sipping the dessert drink. To me, that was peace.”

ADVICE ON MAKING A POSITIVE IMPACT IN THE COMMUNITY

When asked for advice on how to make a positive impact on one’s community, Alex recommends following one’s passion and seeking to understand the specific community or population one wishes to help. This may involve volunteering and actively engaging with members of the community. Alex stresses the importance of being open-minded and actively listening, with the intention to both attend and talk. He believes that this approach can be life-changing and can make a meaningful difference in the lives of others.

CONNECT WITH ALEX

Website: projectpeaceclothing.com

Instagram: @projectpeaceclothing

Facebook: Project Peace Clothing
Tiktok: @projectpeaceclothing

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Stories

Celebrating Authenticity and Inclusivity, One Jilly Bing Doll at a Time

Dolls have always held a special place in the lives of children. They become friends, companions, and they help ignite children’s imaginations.

Back in March, we talked about Jilly Bing in an article called Mom and Founder Jilly Bing Doll Inclusivity and Authenticity to Playtime.

Jilly Bing was founded by first-generation Chinese-American Elenor Mak. She believes that toys play an essential role in helping children make sense of the world, with dolls serving as tools to build self-esteem and self-acceptance. Her vision for Jilly Bing is to create a line of dolls and toys that authentically represent Asian-American children, nurturing a deeper appreciation of Asian culture.

In this latest installment about Jilly Bing, we’ll revisit its journey with Elenor, showcasing the notable achievements and recent updates that have propelled the company even further in its mission to redefine the world of children’s toys.

Highlights on Jilly Bing’s Journey:

1. Launch Event with Chef Kathy Fang: This past summer, we hosted a launch event in S.F. with Chef Kathy Fang to celebrate the debut of our Jilly Bing doll. We wanted to bring the community together to celebrate. Witnessing the delighted reactions of children who received the doll, exclaiming ‘looks like me’ and ‘has soft black hair like mine,’ confirmed that we were on the right path.

2. Nationwide Sell-Out: Within weeks of shipping our first dolls nationwide, we sold out. I’m proud to say I transformed my basement into a doll packing hub, experiencing firsthand the ‘art’ of doll packing.

3. Increased Interest in Dolls for All Ages: A doll is not just a passing toy – it’s a child’s first friend. The recent Barbie movie renewed interest in dolls for adults and underscored the importance of increasing representation for Asian American children. Sharing our journey on national TV, such as the Today show, has sparked interest from families nationwide who, even without Asian children, want dolls that resemble their friends.

Customer Reactions to Jilly Dolls:

Our team has been deeply moved by the incredible responses from both children and adults! It fills our hearts with pride to witness the sheer joy on the faces of children, both girls and boys, as they receive our dolls. Their delighted exclamations, such as “She looks like me!” and “Mama, she looks like you,” warm our hearts.

The stories we hear about how these dolls become inseparable companions for these kids, accompanying them on shopping adventures, sharing sleepovers (shoes off, of course), and even joining them for a hot pot meal, are simply heartwarming. But it’s not only children who celebrate these dolls; adult women have shared, time and time again, that this is the doll they had always wished for during their own childhood.

One customer, who discovered us through a mom’s group, shared this touching reflection: “I grew up gazing at all the Barbies and dolls in stores, and none of them looked like me. It left me with a lingering feeling that something was wrong with me, always making me wish for blonde hair and big, round blue eyes. Now, at 44 years old, this doll has rekindled the sense of how special and proud I would have felt to have seen a doll that truly resembled me.”

What’s next for Jilly Bing?

Jilly doll is just the beginning. Our goal is to expand the dolls to create a “cast of lovable Asian American characters” whose identities go beyond just East Asian to fully represent the nuanced identities of all Asian Americans. My vision is to create a “modern-day educational Hello Kitty” with Jilly Bing. I want all children to know they belong and that they are beautiful as they are.

Connect with Jilly Bing:

We’re thrilled to be back in stock! Join us in making Jilly a beloved friend in every home this holiday season and shaping a more inclusive world for our children.

Order now for the holidays: jillybing.com

Instagram: @hellojillybing

Stories

This Doctor Published a Postpartum Book Balancing Chinese Traditions and Modern Approaches For New Mothers’ Well-Being

Postpartum care is a critical period for new mothers, yet it is often overlooked in our society.

Many women struggle with physical and emotional changes after giving birth, and the lack of support and attention to their needs can lead to postpartum depression and other health issues. This is why Dr. Kristal Lau’s book on postpartum care is a crucial addition to the conversation.

When Kristal joined the AHN community two years ago, she was still pivoting out of her medical career. She shared that her mom has been encouraging her to pursue her idea of writing a book on Malaysian Chinese postpartum confinement practices and include notes from her medical background.

During her confinement month after birthing her first child, Kristal compromised with her mother to modernize some of the confinement practices by medical logic. With a balance of traditional Chinese and modern postpartum care, her book provides a comprehensive guide for modern moms to take care of themselves during this important time while feeling connected to their Chinese roots.

In this article, we will dive into Kristal’s journey as an author. We will also explore why postpartum care should be a mainstream topic and why it is important to prioritize the health and well-being of new mothers.

BECOMING A MOTHER OF TWO

I practiced medicine in Australia as a Basic Physician Trainee before moving to the USA and would’ve chosen to specialize in geriatrics medicine if I hadn’t met my husband.

Ironically, I’ve chosen to work in the perinatal world now, because I used to actively avoid seeing pregnant women patients when I was a junior doctor. I felt intimidated by the responsibility of two lives and potentially more if the patient already had children.

Becoming a mother of 2 while facing the challenges of a modern immigrant from South East Asia to the West (and being a US military spouse) opened my eyes to the importance of postpartum care in setting mothers up to thrive in the postpartum year and beyond. Especially when I was planning for my first confinement practice and had to adapt things to where we were living in rural Alabama. From this experience, I decided that contributing to a small part of the perinatal industry was fitting.

POSTPARTUM 30: THIRTY DAYS TO A NURTURED FOURTH TRIMESTER

The core message of my book entitled “Postpartum 30: Thirty Days to a Nurtured Fourth Trimester” is about preserving a traditional and cultural practice so that it remains relevant to current and future generations. Otherwise, we’d forget!

So, the key components of my book showcase the best of both worlds. I discuss postpartum physiology (what we know today about how the birthing body recovers after birth) and basic Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) principles around the postpartum body. 

I have chapters dedicated to adapting confinement practices to fit a modern mom and her family’s needs and lifestyle. I also guide readers on how to respectfully tell their mothers or mothers-in-law that they’d like to practice a modern version of confinement and include them in the picture.

MODERN MOMS WITH CHINESE ROOTS CAN EASILY BENEFIT FROM THIS BOOK

Firstly, it’s written in English! Readers don’t have to know any Mandarin or Chinese dialects (just like me!) to understand the TCM and confinement concepts I discuss in the book.

Secondly, I include historical references about the confinement practice and discuss why certain practices made sense to our ancestors. Finally, I challenge two aspects of the traditional confinement practice head-on. I encourage readers to embrace all the emotions that come with the chaos of the postpartum period instead of pushing them away. And I encourage spouses and partners to be the main confinement support person rather than another family member.

PUBLISHING MY BOOK HAS BEEN VERY SURREAL

I fully invested in writing this book after the overwhelming support from Asian Hustle Network group members when this book was just an idea. I also appreciated the nuances brought up by the AHN members in that defining post which added more to developing my book’s content. My first beta readers were also from the AHN community!

I’ve always wanted to be an author ever since I was a teen, so I can’t believe that I’ve done it! The book has also allowed me to represent a small part of Malaysian and Chinese culture to the world. Plus, it’s my biggest ticket away from medicine and into carving out an unconventional career that works for me!

Making time to write my book was the biggest challenge because I got pregnant with my second baby just after starting a 6-month book coaching program to develop my book. I’ve also been living in Germany since 2020 due to my husband being stationed here at a military base. So, I was writing on and off throughout my pregnancy and postpartum year while juggling our newborn, toddler, deployments, 2 dogs, and trying to thrive in a foreign country. The next biggest challenge was believing in myself, and that I have what it takes to write on this topic.

BALANCE AND EVOLUTION FOR POSTPARTUM CARE

To balance traditional Chinese practices of postpartum care with modern medical logic, I drew from my professional background as a medical doctor and a public health graduate, and my personal background as a Malaysian who grew up with both TCM and modern medicine. I also consulted with my medical peers and a TCM doctor (a connection I made through AHN too!) about how postpartum care from the East and West can meet in the middle.

An example of this balance is compromising on the hair-washing practice. Personal hygiene is a big part of the confinement practice. The strict traditional way is no hair washing for the entire confinement month. A modern compromise is to not wash the hair for the first 2 weeks and once you start washing your hair, make sure to dry it completely while in the warm bathroom before stepping out into a more chilly environment.

As more attention is given to the concept of matrescence, the transition a woman goes through to become a mother, it’s important to recognize the need for nurturing and support during this time.

Physical therapy should be a standard part of postpartum care, as many women suffer from pelvic floor and back pain issues after giving birth. Unfortunately, too many women are told that these issues are “normal” and should be lived with. Pain and discomfort should not be considered normal, and pelvic floor rehabilitation should be a global standard of care for all new mothers, rather than being limited to a few countries or requiring out-of-pocket expenses. The rest of us have to learn how to ask for pelvic floor rehabilitation referrals and likely pay out of pocket for it.

CARING FOR NEW MOTHERS

Two big areas where family members can help a new mother in the postpartum period are to help her feel seen and alleviate her mental load.

Unfortunately, new mothers frequently fade into the background as the newborn baby takes the spotlight. So, holding space for the new mother to grow into her new identity and showering her with attention reminds her that she’s still her own person and that she’s equally important as the baby!

Women and mothers are also commonly the main household manager in many families who do all the planning, troubleshooting, and preempting of troubles. This is the mental load of women and mothers. Alleviating this during the postpartum period isn’t just asking her what help she needs, it’s becoming the Project Manager at home while she recovers.

Asking her what she needs still requires her to plan and troubleshoot, and that doesn’t help lighten her mental load when she needs all the energy to recover from birth and care for the newborn.

MODERN MOTHERS HAVE DIFFERENT NEEDS THAN THE GENERATIONS BEFORE

First, society needs to accept that this generation and the upcoming generation of modern mothers have very different needs and challenges compared to the generation before us and not shame us for it. 

For example, many women in my generation (especially us Millennials in developing countries like Malaysia) have been conditioned to “do-it-all” i.e. excel at our careers and in being a mother. It’s ingrained in us to “mother like we didn’t have jobs and achieve in our career like we didn’t have children”. Why do moms today carry this burden? It’s likely because we were exposed to conflicting messages about womanhood and motherhood while growing up. We were empowered to be anything we wanted and that we could achieve anything we put our minds and hard work to i.e. embrace the modern woman identity. Yet, we’re still pressured to marry before 30 and start having kids while constantly reminded, “Don’t waste your education by becoming a stay-at-home mom!”. Balancing the identities of an empowered modern woman with the traditional (and biological) roles within motherhood is a unique challenge for many moms of our generation.

So, only when society is willing to empathize with this struggle, then they can provide the social, emotional, and mental support to help modern moms thrive as they go through matrescence.

My book normalizes the notion of nurturing mothers from the beginning of their motherhood journey; the postpartum year. I encourage mothers to prioritize themselves and not feel completely guilty about it. And to get comfortable with asking for help and accepting help before things get too overwhelming. It’s nice to be recognized as a SuperMom but it’s also nice to not have to live up to that image.

CONNECT WITH KRISTAL

Instagram: @mamaswingwoman

Facebook: @mamaswingwoman

Twitter: @drkristallau

LinkedIn: Kristal L.

Website: mamaswingwoman.com

Book webpage: tinyurl.com/pp30book

Author webpage: Kristal Lau – Mandala Tree Press

From Personal Struggle to Business Triumph- Khai Pham’s Journey with Milky-jpg

Stories

From Personal Struggle to Business Triumph: Khai Pham’s Journey with Milky

Meet Khai Pham, a visionary entrepreneur reshaping how we manage lactose intolerance.

Armed with a business degree from USC, Khai’s journey took an unexpected turn after an eye-opening internship experience. After leading strategy and operations at a tele-orthodontics startup, he took the big step to start his own venture: Milky.

Milky stems from Khai’s personal struggle as a lactose intolerant person. Collaborating with Dr. Michael Seidman, he created Milky, a revolutionary lactase supplement designed for convenience and portability.

The path to Milky’s creation was marked by challenges. Khai and his team encountered manufacturing hurdles and setbacks, but their unwavering dedication and problem-solving spirit prevailed. Join us as we delve deeper into Khai’s journey with Milky.

KHAI PHAM’S JOURNEY WITH VENTURE FOR AMERICA

Venture for America profoundly shaped Khai’s career. Khai revealed the exceptional prospects that startups offer compared to larger corporations. In bigger companies, promotion chances often hinge on the person above you advancing or departing. However, in startups experiencing rapid growth, the entire business expands, creating numerous opportunities.

As a result, Khai’s hard work earned him two well-deserved promotions in just one year, leading him to become an Associate Director, with his initial compensation increasing four times by the time he turned 23. More importantly, Khai was able to engage with more substantial challenges much earlier in his career.

LEADERSHIP LESSONS AS YOUNGEST DIRECTOR

Climbing the ranks at Candid and achieving the distinction of being the youngest Director brought both challenges and growth to Khai Pham. In his perspective, the most demanding aspect of this journey was the increasing gap between decision-making and its outcomes. During the earlier stages of one’s career, tasks are straightforward; you receive assignments like crafting financial models, and when you perform well, immediate feedback follows. That immediate validation is comforting for junior professionals.

However, as one advances into more senior roles, the time gap between decision and result widens significantly. Senior leaders must make weighty choices, such as shaping the market strategy for a new product. Yet, the effects of these decisions might remain concealed for months, even years. This adjustment, bridging the gap between choices and their eventual outcomes, is a formidable mental challenge that confronts most individuals, Khai included. This evolution in leadership style and responsibility marked Khai’s journey as he navigated the complexities of decision-making at Candid.

KHAI’S PERSONAL STRUGGLES THAT LED TO THE BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY

Khai Pham’s personal battle with lactose intolerance ignited the creation of Milky, a transformative lactase supplement.

Khai shared that aside from being lactose intolerant, he also coped with ADHD, which often led him to forget bringing a Lactaid, making casual outings for ice cream, boba, or pizza very hard. Though the idea of a more portable version of Lactaid had crossed his mind, Khai initially didn’t see it as a true business opportunity.

When Khai moved to New York and found his favorite boba shop, Machi Machi, in Koreatown, he kept running the same problem of forgetting his Lactaid. He also noted that the pharmacy in Koreatown always seemed to run out of Lactaids. “Lactaids fly off the shelves at their location,” one of the pharmacy’s employees said. Intrigued by this, Khai went to visit various drug stores across lower Manhattan, asking their employees about Lactaid sales.

Khai shared that the farther he ventured from Koreatown and Chinatown, the less frequently stores experienced Lactaid stock shortages. This was the moment that Khai recognized his idea of a super-thin lactase supplement as a viable business opportunity, setting in motion the Milky journey.

“What I slowly began to realize is that people can’t help you if they don’t know you need help.”

Khai Pham

THE EXPONENTIAL POWER OF NETWORKS

Khai Pham’s collaboration with Dr. Michael Seidman marked a turning point for Milky, their second joint venture. Many wonder how a board-certified surgeon like Dr. Seidman came to co-found a company with Khai. The answer is simple: asking for help.

“I used to play it close to the chest when I was starting a company because I didn’t want to be embarrassed if it didn’t work out. What I slowly began to realize is that people can’t help you if they don’t know you need help,” Khai shared.

With this profound realization, Khai began sharing his desire to start a dietary supplement business with his coworkers and his search for a scientific co-founder. One day, a coworker mentioned a friend whose father, Dr. Seidman, had both a medical background and a penchant for formulating ideas. And the rest was history.

How Khai and Dr. Seidman met illustrates the exponential power of networks, but only if you open up and tell people that you need their help.

KHAI’S INSIGHTS IN NAVIGATING ENTREPRENEURSHIP

When asked what advice he would offer to his younger entrepreneurial self, Khai Pham emphasizes that failure doesn’t equate to poor decision-making. He notes that while they are connected, making the right choice with the information at hand doesn’t guarantee success.

Khai’s experience has taught him that if a decision carries even a 10% chance of yielding a 1000x return, it’s worth taking that calculated risk. Even if it doesn’t pan out, it doesn’t make the decision wrong. He candidly shares that in his earlier career, he often focused on the immediate results of his actions, sticking to high-probability decisions, and missing out on better, higher-expected-value opportunities. For Khai, the key metric for decision-making is expected value, not just the probability of success, a lesson he holds close as he navigates the entrepreneurial landscape.

MILKY’S VISION TO REVOLUTIONIZE DIETARY ACCESSIBILITY

When contemplating the future of Milky, Khai envisions creating an entire ecosystem of dietary accessibility.

While Milky’s initial focus centers on lactose intolerance, Khai recognizes that many individuals face a variety of dietary restrictions, including issues like acid reflux. The prevailing frustration lies in the disconnect between scientific solutions and user experience. Drawing a parallel to Lactaid, Khai points out the impracticality of carrying around large plastic bottles of products like TUMS.

The Milky team aspires to create a world where your entire medicine cabinet can be conveniently carried in your pocket, offering a seamless solution to dietary challenges, thus transforming the lives of those managing lactose intolerance and other dietary issues.

CONNECT WITH KHAI / MILKY

Instagram: @shop__milky

TikTok: @milky

Linkedin: Khai Pham