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March 15, 2024

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Edwin Ong

2024.03.06

翻译:田头草

在硅谷,极少有人能像 Y Combinator 的总裁兼首席执行官 Garry Tan (陈嘉兴) 那样高调。Garry在其辉煌的职业生涯中担任过许多不同的职务。

除了领导世界上最成功的创业加速器(Y Combinator) 之外,Garry 是 Palantir (帕浪)的第 10 名员工,共同创立了 Posterous(最早的博客网站之一),创立了 Initialized Capital(管理规模超过 32 亿 美元的风险投资基金),甚至还由投资而步入政界,成为旧金山当地政治的杰出活动家。

(译者注;Palantir 帕浪公司基本上没有中文的介绍,帕浪服务的用户牛气冲天)

(译者注:Posterous 被Twitter 于2012 年收购)

我有幸有机会了解Garry 的亚裔身份如何影响他的生活,我希望他的答案能够帮助和启发我们的读者。言归正传:

一、克服有害的心态

1. 因稀缺环境而诱发稀缺的粘性心态

Ong: 

我的经验是,工薪阶级父母(尤其是亚洲移民)的孩子往往有一种因稀缺环境而诱发稀缺的粘性心态——即使他们的社会经济地位已经有所提高。加里此前曾谈到过他的“价值 2 亿美元的错误”。也就是说,他拒绝了 Peter Thiel 成为 Palantir 创始成员的邀请。对我来说,这似乎是这种心态的体现,所以我问Garry他是如何克服的:

(译者注:Peter Thiel,“奇葩的牛人,自由穿梭于法律、金融、投资及创业之间。”)

(译者注:当时Garry 是微软高薪稳定的员工)。

Tan: 

我能够意识到这些东西是双向门。以良好的条件退出一家大型科技公司实际上意味着你可以随时回去。有单向门和双向门之分。

对于与我们一样环境长大的人来说,一切都感觉像是一扇单向门。但如果你什么时候能意识到这是错误的,那么你就改造了那些有钱人默认拥有的一些特权。

Ong: 

亚马逊创始人杰夫·贝索斯(Jeff Bezos)多次谈论单向门与双向门框架。你可以在这里听到他更深入的阐述。https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VFwCGECvq4I&ab_channel=LexClips

(译者注:单向门VS双向门,贝佐斯认为决策有两种。一种决策是单向门(one-way door),不可逆转而且非常重要。另一种决策是双向门(two-way door),90%以上的决策都属于此。也就是说,可以制定决策并执行,一旦事实证明决策错误,马上可以推倒重来,损失不大。)

2. 亚裔社区对心理健康的耻辱感

Ong: 

亚裔社区对心理健康的耻辱感,是另一种越来越受到关注的心态。就我个人而言,因为我的移民父母为了生存而拼尽全力,我觉得我没有权利抱怨我的心理健康,因为我的生活相对安逸。我问Garry这是否引起他的共鸣以及他如何克服这种心理障碍:

Tan: 

我假装自己没有任何问题,花了很多时间试图融入其中。但最终,有关我童年的事情或不寻常的留下创伤的反应,会在我的职业生活中突然出现。在某个时候,我开始单独接受治疗,这对我帮助很大。

所有这些我无法控制的事情突然变成了我可以整合和意识到的事情,并做出更好的选择。卡尔·荣格说:你未觉察到的潜意识决定着你的人生,你却将其称之为“命运”。(译者注:荣格是瑞士心理学家、精神科医师,分析心理学的创始人。)

3. 第三种常见心态是低着头,避免搅局

Ong:

我在亚裔美国人中看到的第三种常见心态是低着头,避免搅局,即使这意味着抑制自己的想法。鉴于Garry是一个非常直言不讳的人,我问他是如何培养自信的:

Tan:

我记得在高中时,我是校报的编辑,注意到我们在比较贫困高中的学生因为同样的违规行为而受到严厉的判决和开除,而在富人区的学校则仅会受到不痛不痒的轻罚。我对此非常生气,我写了一篇文章揭露它,但被我的高中指导报纸的老师审查(没过)了。我已经快毕业,并已被斯坦福大学录取了,所以我就顺其自然了。

但在我内心深处,有一种对被压制的愤怒,我永远不会忘记。

在出报纸之前,我会使用 Pagemaker (译者注:一款页面排版软件)出版“地下”报纸,而我的英语老师会为班级复印报纸 – 这给了我一种我永远不会忘记的力量。因为否则我就是角落里骨瘦如柴的亚洲书呆子,但是当我可以传达我社区的声音,我有了立足点。我从未忘记过这一点。

二、关于亚裔社区

Ong:

关于社区的话题,我问Garry 是什么促使他成为亚裔社区的积极倡导者:

Tan: 

我对旧金山的亚裔美国人社区有强烈的团结感。我们是这座城市的重要组成部分,但我们却没有被看到。我们没有被听到。

当地领导人甚至会诋毁我们为确保亚裔美国长辈安全所做的努力。现在我知道我需要为那些没有发言权的人而战。

我发现的最酷的事情之一是一个名为“亲爱的社区”的非营利组织,它将刚新到旧金山的亚裔美国人(通常是年轻的专业人​​士)以及传统的旧金山唐人街社区联系起来。看到聪明的人们聚集在一起,为这座城市的人民而战,真是太棒了。

(译者注:了解旧金山的严重的社会现状的读者,就能更深入理解Garry 的这段话)。

Ong:

我还提到他最近去新加坡参加一个名为SWITCH的创业活动,并问他对亚洲国家涌现的创业场景有何感想:

Tan:

初创公司正在世界各地涌现。您可以从 YouTube 和网络上学习。 YC 校友遍布世界各地。我很高兴看到从湾区开始的事情现在已经成为一种全球现象,而且还在不断增长。

三、亚裔创始人经验

Ong:

在朋友的建议下,我问Garry:“我可以向哪些非技术性的亚洲创始人榜样学习?对于在初创公司作为非技术员工而言,最有价值去学习的技能是什么?” Garry的回答有点挑战了我问题的前提:

Tan:

在初创公司和技术领域,技术是关键优势。如果可以的话,请更重于科技。然后成为一名博学者:科技人员掌握软技能比反过来要容易得多。

Ong:

事后看来,我承认,如果你不愿意付出努力来成为技术人才,那么期望在科技行业获得优异成果似乎很愚蠢。他给我上了一课。

四、如何看待自己的亚裔身份

Ong:

最后,我问了Garry,和我问所有受访人的问题一样——作为创始人,他如何看待自己的亚裔身份:

Tan:

直到很晚我才想到这一点。坦白说,我试图假装这不是问题,虽然绝对存在“竹制天花板”- 既使对我来说。我没有获得晋升和/或人们认为我没有能力做我所做的事情。我会愤怒地辞掉工作,这是解决问题的一种方式,但我看到事情可以有不同的解决方式。

作为一名创始人,我发现我需要提高自己畅所欲言的能力,尤其是当我知道自己绝对正确时,要尽可能自信。

我有一种隐而不发的心理,我甚至没有意识到这是为了和谐。在没有意识到的情况下,我有时会自我放弃,然后又被动地攻击它。我不再这样做了,这是我作为领导者发展的关键一步。我希望我早点发展这种能力,这都是因为我童年时无意识的编程。

(译者注:Garry 在 14 岁时开始编程,他通过制作网页和网站的互联网部分获得每小时 7 美元的报酬。这笔收入帮助他的父母支付了买房的第一笔首付。)

Ong:

我从这次采访中得到的最大收益是,“永远正确、直言不讳”的 Garry Tan 并不总是如此,而且在某一时刻,他非常像典型的亚裔孩子。Garry 的故事证明,只要有自我意识和决心,任何人都可以实现巨大的成长并成为行业领导者。

呼吁

Ong:

如果您有一个雄心勃勃的创业想法,并希望成为一个令人惊叹的创始人社区的一部分,请申请 Y Combinator! Y Combinator 每年运行两次批次——冬季和夏季。 

2024年夏季批次的申请已开放,您可以通过 https://www.ycombinator.com/apply 进行申请

感谢Garry 接受采访!

照片来源:Y Combinator

英文采访链接

Garry Tan on Startups, Advocacy, and Overcoming Cultural Mindsets

附:福布斯中国对陈嘉兴的介绍

https://www.forbeschina.com/billionaires/61673

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Caroline was never allowed to say negative words about herself, or else her father would scold her. She was imparted that words she says about herself will either bring her up or tear her down, “So maybe I thought negative things about myself, but I never said it. Growing up bald, I never felt ugly, just incomplete.”

Growing up bald, I never felt ugly, just incomplete.

– Caroline Mangune Alanis

Although her parents taught her how to be courageous and had always made her feel how beautiful and blessed she was, growing up bald was not easy — she had to endure the everyday pressure of life. “There was the pressure of seeing little girls with beautiful hair and wishing every day that I had that. There was the pressure of kids being mean and pulling off my bandana and laughing at me because I was bald.” She faced the pressure of name-calling and bullying.

Caroline’s parents finally convinced her to start wearing a wig which, unfortunately, didn’t make things easier as she recalls. Walking home from school one day with her brother, a girl decided it would be fun to pull Caroline’s wig off and throw it on the ground. “At that moment, all I could do was cry and run home,” she adds, “every day I feared leaving the house, the emotional scar is unimaginable.”

She learned how to hide her AU, she felt as if people wouldn’t accept her for being her so it became a secret, and only her family and those she truly trusted, which were not many, knew the real Caroline.

In high school, only a handful knew about her AU, “which made it so easy to try to blend in since I never wanted to stand out, never!” The ironic part about it, as Caroline describes, was she would always be the one to be called by her teachers to lead a project, sing solos, and participate in plays and fashion shows. They even nominated her to join the homecoming queen and enter a beauty pageant. However, “I realized that my fear never really went away by keeping my AU a secret and the emotional scar was also still a part of my life.”

Every day I feared leaving the house, the emotional scar is unimaginable.

-Caroline Mangune Alanis

Being Bold With The Love Of Her Life

She met her husband Mark from work, where they were both managing stores at a mall in Chicago. They became best friends and were each other’s plus one at weddings, “We didn’t start dating until I transferred to another mall.” she said.    

But the day has to come when she must tell Mark about her condition, “Telling Mark about my alopecia was very difficult. He once told me that he loved hair and eyes on a woman,” she adds, “He himself has gorgeous hair.” Caroline felt she didn’t have one of the criteria Mark was looking for. Although she mentioned several times that she had something to tell him and he would always say “whenever you are ready.” Caroline thought that they both knew that Mark is aware of her wearing a wig, they just never talked about it. 

Mark and Caroline had been dating for about a year when she finally tried to tell him one evening. She got choked up and started crying. He told her, “Caroline, don’t you think I know you by now from your head down to your toes?” He had tears in his eyes. She then asked Mark why he didn’t tell her.  He replied, “I wanted you to trust me enough to tell me”.  

As they began to start their family, Caroline’s AU became their secret. She held her family bound to her alopecia. When her daughters’ were infants, she wouldn’t carry them in public for fear that they would pull her wig. “They were taught never to touch mommy’s hair, ever!” 

Her daughter could never have friends sleep over because it would be very uncomfortable for Caroline to be her in her own home. “My daughters were always fearful when we were out in public, especially on windy days.” 

Caroline’s baldness was a big secret, even her husband’s family didn’t know, “because I hid so much all my life, I didn’t realize I walked in fear every day.  I didn’t realize I lived in bondage.”

Mark told her, “Caroline, don’t you think I know you by now from your head down to your toes?” He had tears in his eyes. She then asked Mark why he didn’t tell her.  He replied, “I wanted you to trust me enough to tell me”.  

Embracing Being Beautiful

In the summer of 2015, her life opened a new door, she became a part of an International Alopecia Group on Facebook and realized that her journey with AU has prepared her to help others like her. She saw so many men and women devastated by losing their hair. They were going through a lot of emotional pain, “You see, alopecia can happen at any time in one’s life so the adults experience a loss and have to grieve.” Caroline said. Alopecia might not be life-threatening but it is life-altering. Hair, eyebrows, and lashes truly make a difference in one’s appearance, “I myself put my face on every day.” she added. 

She also saw some men and women walking proudly bald. One man, in particular, Anthony Carrigan, an actor who also kept his alopecia a secret but he came out and had been helping others and is a beacon of light.  

Then, Caroline started giving advice about doing daily affirmations, “doing lots of SELF LOVE!”  as well as giving makeup tips, the alopecia community knows her as the “Eyelash Queen”.

But once the parents of alopecia children started posting their heartbreaks, “that’s when I realized my parents’ challenges of raising me, a bald child.” Caroline started reiterating what her parents taught her. She gave advice to parents, about how special their child was, how they were perfect and beautiful just as they were. “Alopecia children are so strong,” she noted.

“I then realized I was all those things: perfect, beautiful, and strong,” she said, but her baldness was still a secret. Caroline thought to herself, how does she encourage others to accept themselves if she herself could not let people know about her condition? So as those thoughts lingered in her head, she began telling her family and friends — she only wanted to tell people, not show people. Her goal was to have 30 different wigs for each day of the month.

“But God! God had other plans for me,” the unexplainable started occurring, her wigs became unbearably uncomfortable to wear, “it almost felt like my scalp was burning,” which she thought was completely strange since she has been wearing them for 40 years. It took a lot to take a look at herself bald.  She then began to think, “How can I tell my daughters  and others that beauty really lies deep within if I myself can’t see past my lack of hair?”

On August 14, 2015, on her way home with her husband from dinner, Caroline’s wig was getting itchy so she took it off to scratch her head. She was about to put her wig back on but Mark held her hand to stop her. He said “Honey, don’t put it on, you’re fine. You are safe with me, nothing can hurt you, and no one will hurt you. You are beautiful.” She reluctantly did what he asked and wanted to be strong for him. 

Mark kept holding her hand tight and kept asking if she was okay,  “I just kept saying it is scary.”  As they were nearing their home, her husband pulled over and said “Come on let’s take a selfie.” to lighten the situation. Her husband dropped Caroline off in front of their home, with her wig in her purse. Mark told her to go ahead and go into their home.  

“For the first time in 40  years, I felt God’s love on my head. The soft wind touched my head, a few raindrops falling on my head. I cried and laughed as I ran to my house.” she recalls.  

After that night, her husband helped Caroline with her small steps into seeing herself for who she was — a beautiful woman living with AU. Slowly, she found herself no longer wearing her wigs. They would go on drives and take walks on the beach. “I felt free, my secret slowly fading; including the emotional scar.”

I felt free, my secret slowly fading; including the emotional scar.

-Caroline Mangune Alanis

“On Sept 9, 2015, I posted it on Facebook, I cried the whole night.  Everyone was so kind.  I was still afraid, but I started walking bald.” she expressed.

In the fall of that year, it started getting cold and she didn’t like her hats since they looked terrible without any hair. She was pretty sad because she really did not want to start wearing her wigs again, “I just prayed and asked God to lead me in what I am supposed to do. I got my answer on Sunday, October 4th,” A lady stopped her and asked if she has Alopecia, to which she responded “Yes!”. The woman said, so did she, and asked Caroline, how does she do it? — She knew the lady meant how she could walk around without her wig.

Caroline answered “I don’t know. This is all new to me. “God is giving me the strength to do this. I couldn’t have done this on my own.” So that day, she officially retired all her wigs. “Yes, I put them all away for those special occasions,” she added.

She has met so many people just like her all over the world which inspired her to start her own Alopecia Group in Chicago, where they meet once a month. “I love having a family I call my own, people who truly understand me.”

The Chicago Alopecians

Caroline together with her friends started the Facebook group, with her as the main facilitator. It is a place where they can share their personal journeys and ask for advice or help. The Chicago Alopecians’ mission is to ensure that no one feels alone. Recently, they have been planning to create more events to cater to everyone, children, teens, and men. 

“We each have our own alopecia journey and we just want to connect with each other,” said Caroline. They also allow wig vendors in the group, “Chicagoland is such a big place. I love having a solution for everyone in the group.” As of writing, they currently have 332 members, and they’ve also started an Instagram page to widen their reach.

For the international group, Caroline is also encouraging others to create their own alopecia groups — their own tribe in their local towns.

“I have always known God wanted me to stand out, but I was always afraid.  These days, I am no longer afraid to not have my wig on, I embrace it.”

Caroline is truly a woman who is defying what society calls “beautiful”.