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June 20, 2024

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This edition was a collaboration with The Early Newsletter by Michaela Gordon. You can read her thoughts on our conversation with Patrick here. Thank you Michaela for collaborating and please go check out her article!

The startup ecosystem has gone through a lot of changes over the years. From the dot com era to the modern era of AI, Patrick Lee has seen it all. A stalwart of the startup ecosystem, Patrick has started seven different companies over the last 30 years, including everybody’s favorite movie review website: Rotten Tomatoes. Michaela and I had the chance to sit down with Patrick to talk about Rotten Tomatoes, advice for founders, and Patrick’s reflections on being Asian.

How did Rotten Tomatoes get started?

Rotten Tomatoes had three co-founders. I was the CEO. There’s Senh Duong, who was the creator of Rotten Tomatoes, and he was basically our chief product officer, and Stephen Wang, who was our CTO. I knew them all from my freshman year of college. Senh was down the hall from me in the dorms. 

Prior to Rotten Tomatoes, Stephen and I had founded a web design firm. We were doing a lot of work for the entertainment industry, a lot of work for Disney Channel, stuff for Warner Bros., Artisan Entertainment, MTV, VH1, and ABC. We even made the online flash game for Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. 

During that time, Senh was our creative director, and he came up with the idea on the side. He was a huge movie buff. He came up with it and launched it on his own. It was written in static HTML because he wasn’t able to code at the time. And we hosted it for him. After about a year of hosting, we were like, “maybe this should be the business?” So we actually merged our company with his company and became co-founders of both companies and had equity in both. I went out and raised a million in funding, then transitioned our design firm off to another group to take over. We kept an equity stake in that design firm, but then we basically passed our clients to another group to take over. They took over the name and everything so that we could focus on Rotten Tomatoes fully. 

What was your experience raising money like?

Rotten Tomatoes was my third company. In my first company, we put in our own savings. For the second company – the design firm – we took loans from our families. $10,000 from my mom and $20,000 from Stephen’s uncle. Once we started getting clients, we paid back the loan with interest. 

For Rotten Tomatoes, one of our clients raised some venture money, so they put us in touch with their VC who said they would lead the round. They put in half a million. The rest we actually raised from our old design firm clients. A number of them were tech companies and had successful exits. So they were totally open to investing, and they knew what we could do because they were our clients.

Why did you decide to raise venture capital for Rotten Tomatoes?

This was in late 1999, right before the dot-com crash, so there was a lot of money going around and a lot of investment into the internet. It’s kind of like what Web3 was like a few years ago or what AI is like now. Multiple companies we worked with had raised a lot of money and had successful exits. We were basically building for all these companies and realized that we were on the wrong side of the business. We decided to try to build something that was our own instead of being a services company. That’s why we went and approached the VC that we had contact with. It was a small VC out of Taiwan. I remember we had a couple of different ideas. The first one was Rotten Tomatoes, which already had traction. The other one we thought was interesting was making a portal for Asians and Asian Americans. We were doing the official Jet Li site. We were working with Yolk magazine at the time. I remember having a meeting with Jet Li and he was getting excited about that idea. He was saying he could bring on Jackie Chan. At that time, there were a couple of other Asian magazines that were within our reach. It was a very small community back then. Our thought was, what if we got the different magazines, the different Asian sites, some of the big Asian and Asian American celebrities, and brought them all together? I remember when we pitched these two ideas to our VC, they told us to do Rotten Tomatoes because movies were mainstream. At the time, only 3% of the population in the US was Asian. Even among Asians, there are many different types and they might identify separately as Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Filipino, etc. The investor felt it would be very difficult to have content that appeals to all of them. They recommended we do Rotten Tomatoes, which, looking back, was definitely the correct decision. The other idea would have probably been about 20 years too early. 

The first Rotten Tomatoes front page, published in 1998.

Rotten Tomatoes was launched in just two weeks. How did you navigate the tension between creating the perfect product versus getting it out as soon as possible?

Rotten Tomatoes was our creative director Senh Duong’s idea. He was a huge Jackie Chan fan. He wanted to know what everyone was saying about Rush Hour when the movie was coming out, so Senh went to the library and gathered reviews from magazines and newspapers–back then, very little was online. He decided that if he was putting all this work together, he might as well share it with other people. So he went home, built a page for Rush Hour and the other mainstream movies coming out that week, and put all the information up there. Because the scope was limited, he was able to go from idea to launch in about two weeks. He was gathering twenty to fifty reviews per movie for three or four movies. It was a lot of work, but doable by one person. 

It turns out that just having the new releases was still very useful because people were most interested in the movies coming out that week. He didn’t need to have tens of thousands of scores for the long tail of movies. He just focused on the head, the tippy top of the head. It was immediately useful, and instantly started getting traffic and attention. Then he just kept it up. He would work on the next week and the next week and the next week. It wasn’t until a year in that we said; “hey, maybe we should turn this into a business.” 

My advice for anyone is to launch quickly and test quickly. A lot of people, and I’ve made this mistake multiple times, spend six months to a year or two trying to make this perfect thing. They end up spending a lot of their own money or burning half or more of the funding that they raised trying to build this thing. The issue is you don’t know what perfect is until you actually get it out there.

You’ll see over and over, especially in consumers, folks put something out as a test and then it blows up. Twitter was a weekend project and then they just blew up. Twitch was Justin.tv in the beginning. They just messed around and put something out there. You just have to get the basic thing out there to see if people want it. Sometimes you don’t even have to build anything, you can literally just interview people or just do a mockup, and make a walkthrough of what the product would look like. It could literally be a napkin scribble and you can immediately start getting feedback. That feedback can actually give you a lot more information than putting something “perfect” out there. Go back to almost any consumer site or app and try to look up what version one looks like. Go look at the first versions of Facebook, eBay, Amazon, or whatever. They were ugly. But they solved something. That’s why they kept growing and taking off. I’m always recommending that. 

The other thing I say to people a lot of times is to really focus. It’s generally a single thing that people care about. For Rotten Tomatoes, it’s the TomatoMeter. We could get rid of the cast, crew, filmography, photos, movie showtimes, and almost everything else on the site. But really, as long as you have a score, that’s the critical thing that you need. 

If you think about fast food chains, every fast food chain specializes in a single type of food. The restaurants that offer multiple types of food are generally all mom-and-pop shops. The really big chains do one type of food. Every single one of them. When you look at social media, every social media platform started off with one unique singular feature. Like TikTok, Snapchat, Clubhouse, Twitter, YouTube, Instagram, and Substack, they all started as one thing. And again, as they got big, they started looking more like each other because they added more features. But they all started out as one thing. You find one thing that people actually care about. And you try to put that one thing out as fast as possible to see if they really care. 

How do you know when to give up on an idea?

Testing doesn’t have to be serial. You can actually do some stuff in parallel. As an analogy: if you have a kitchen, you can test a few different types of food concurrently. You could even do a survey before you start cooking to narrow down your options. Then, you can try each of them out and go forward with the best-performing one. It doesn’t have to be: Let’s try chicken, now let’s try hamburgers, now let’s try pizza. You can try all of them at once. 

In terms of knowing if an idea will work–you’ll know it when you see it. Rotten Tomatoes got the press instantly. It was getting noticed. USA Today was writing about it and Netscape was highlighting it at Yahoo. The day Pixar released A Bug’s Life, right around the time we released Rotten Tomatoes, we saw spiking traffic coming from Pixar. 

When you look at Asian Hustle Network, they just put something out there and it went crazy. Facebook and Twitter had the same thing. Especially with consumer products, when it works, it works. You’ll know when it doesn’t work because it’s crickets. You’ll be trying to tell everyone to go on, you’ll be telling your friends and family, and some of them will go on once and never come back. That’s normal. That’s actually what happens almost every time. 

Take an average YouTube video. You’d have a hard time getting even 100 views on it. Then every once in a while, for whatever reason, someone puts up a video and it gets millions of views and everyone’s sharing it like crazy. You kind of know it when you see it. If you’re begging everyone you can get, you’re trying to market in every way, you’re even buying ads and you’re having trouble getting a hundred views or a thousand views, you’re probably done. If it’s an app or a website, it’s probably not the right one. The way you know if you have product-market fit is if people tell other people about it without being asked to or incentivized to. Think about TV shows like The Queen’s Gambit a couple of years ago or Squid Game. People were sharing it with each other unprompted. They would just tell other people about it and it’s essentially free marketing.

Is it necessary to have startup experience or experience working for another company to execute and test ideas well? Or do you think the best experience to start a company is just to go and start it?

I would say that there is an optimal founder. That founder would be very bootstrappy. They would be able to launch things very quickly, iterate quickly, and without many resources. Also, they would have what I call irrational confidence. They just believe in themselves and what they’re trying to do with this insanely crazy confidence, and often based on nothing. 

“When we did Rotten Tomatoes, we didn’t know anything about movies. The Airbnb people weren’t hotel people. The Uber people were not taxi people. Industry disruption often comes from outsiders because disruption requires something out of the box and those people were never in the box to begin with. It’s rare that the disruption happens from within.”

I often speak to students and recent graduates. Some of them will come up and say, “Hey, I was thinking about doing a startup, but I wanted to go work in corporate or management consulting for a couple of years, get experience, and then start it.” There’s a 99% chance you’ll never leave once you’re in and you’re used to a salary, getting raises, promotions, and all that stuff. It’s going to get harder and harder to quit, especially if you get to a point where you’re in your early 30s, married, with kids and a mortgage. The chance of you risking all of that is pretty much zero.

These people, when they come up to me, they’re saying, “Look, I’m too scared. I’m too conservative to actually go out and do it.” The best ones just do it. Yahoo, and Google, they were grad students at Stanford and just left. Zuckerberg was an undergrad at Harvard. Steve Wozniak and Steve Jobs just left and did it. Most of them don’t even finish school because they’re not scared of leaving early. They have so much belief that they just have to do it. This has happened so many times.

In some ways, dropping out was a good sign. It’s not that they dropped out to bum at home playing video games, they believed in themselves so much they didn’t have that fear of failure. I absolutely think that founding a startup is not for everyone. I don’t recommend it if you’re someone who’s very conservative, and very scared. Go get a normal job, and do the safe thing. But there are people who just have to do it. Even if you have the confidence, you still have to have the ability to iterate, to bootstrap, to do those things properly. 

When you see that mix, it almost doesn’t matter what the idea is, assuming that they want to do something big. When you see that mix, that’s the right person. It doesn’t matter what their idea is, they’ll figure out something that’s going to work. 

They are sharp and bold – it doesn’t surprise me at all when they make it later on. Look at any of these great athletes or entertainers, and when they were young, they probably had that spark. There is an element of luck, but a lot of it is who they are as a person. The biggest thing when looking at young founders is their irrational confidence. This is true for athletes, entertainers, or anyone who takes that risk. Go back to the beginning and look at them, they have that spark. 

You’ve been founding startups for many years now. How have you seen the landscape for Asian American founders change since you started, particularly within tech and venture?

In tech and venture, we generally punch above our weight. At the highest levels, if you look at Nvidia, Yahoo back in the day, YouTube, Twitch, and Zoom, there are Asian founders. If you’re also counting South Asians, look at corporations such as Microsoft and Google, the heads are all Indian. 

A lot of Asians tend to lean towards engineering, so we tend to be weaker on the executive side. When people talk about diversity, they often don’t count Asians as diversity for tech and venture. 

Similar to college, it’s actually harder for Asians than anyone else. From when I started until now, it’s gotten better, but overall, we could use help on the executive side. In other industries like entertainment, it’s getting better but it’s still not great.

A lot of your business partners have been Asian. Is this intentional or coincidental?

Part of it is because I went to Berkeley. I wanted to go there because it was 40% Asian. I was born in LA but grew up in Maryland. There were only three Asians in my grade in elementary school, so I felt a little invisible sometimes. I later attended a magnet program for intermediate school and high school, where there were obviously more Asians. When college came around, I wanted to find a place that had more Asians so that I would find more people like me. After we sold Rotten Tomatoes, I went to China and then later on, I went to Hong Kong. What I realized was that when I went to China, they could tell I wasn’t like them just by looking at me. I realized that I’m actually a minority everywhere. The closest thing to people like me are Asian Americans, or even more specifically, Chinese Americans. 

My circle tends to be at the intersection of tech and entertainment, and it leans more heavily Asian. The folks I was working with, like Holly, Kun, and Kevin, they’re Asian but they also were all doing companies at the intersection of tech and entertainment. I did Rotten Tomatoes, Holly did Kabam, Kun did Crunchyroll, and Kevin did Twitch. With Kun and Holly, we also had a connection through Berkeley. I was also really into Chinese martial arts when I was at Berkeley. Because of Berkeley and martial arts, I naturally had a pretty Asian group. But for me, I’ve tried really hard to get good diversity across industry, race, and gender.

What have you been working on recently?

When I came back from Asia, I did another startup, a mobile gaming company. We raised a lot of money – five million – but it didn’t work. We made every mistake you could make, including not being focused. I took a break and then ended up doing PKO Investments with Holly, Kun, and Kevin. We made an investment syndicate, investing at the intersection of tech and entertainment. We had about 800 people in our syndicate, half of which invested in at least one company. From 2021 to 2022, we invested in 45 companies and raised $35 million for those companies. Around November 2022, there was a big market crash and a lot of our angels needed to take a break. At that point, no one in our syndicate was looking to invest. We talked about potentially doing a fund or doing something else and eventually, we decided to do another startup. 

That’s [Fanverse] what I’m currently working on full-time, and we’re basically doing a membership-driven community. We’re bringing together all the best builders, creators, and talent in the geek fandom space. Geek fandom being things like comic books, video games, anime, sci-fi, and fantasy. Geek fandom is something I’ve loved my whole life. We have founders of companies like Patreon and YouTube. We have gaming people: the CEO of Tetris, an ex-chairman of Midway Games, a board director from Roblox, and a board director from Atari. We have entertainment people, such as Adele Lim (a Malaysian director/writer), Shannon Lee, (Bruce Lee’s daughter who produced the TV series, Warrior), and Karen Gillen (Nebula in Guardians of the Galaxy). We have sci-fi authors like Neil Stevenson. This is a super cool group of people. There are about 80 people so far and it’s all community. We’re doing dinners, larger events featuring different speakers, a WhatsApp group, online Zoom stuff, all these things to try and get this community together. 

At a very high level, we want to be broad enough that you’re going to meet people outside of your lane that you don’t know, but narrow enough that they are people you should know and could potentially collaborate with in the future, especially since pop culture and geek fandom IPs often span multiple mediums. For example, you have The Last of Us, Halo, and Fallout which are games that became TV shows. You have One Piece, which was a manga that became an animated TV show that has become a live-action TV show. You have the Marvel and DC comics which have become TV shows, movies, and games. 

With all this crossover, our idea is to bring in people from each of those different mediums together, let them all meet socially, and then see what happens. We’re already seeing folks working together and investing in each other. Essentially, it’s a networking group of these nerdy folks.

Is there anything else you’d like to share?

For anyone who’s reading this, Asian or not, I would say that when you look historically, the biggest companies tend to form every time there’s a new wave of technology. Desktop computing gave us Apple, Microsoft, IBM, and Hewlett-Packard. The internet gave us Google, eBay, Amazon, and others. Mobile and cloud computing brought more. Today, I think AI is bigger than all of those combined times a thousand. It’s crazy what AI can do to change literally everything we know.

Rotten Tomatoes, for example, rode the wave of the internet. Most of these companies that are still around rode some wave. AI is the biggest wave ever and if you are interested in entrepreneurship and you are reading this article, get on that wave. When there’s such a massive wave, why wouldn’t you get on it? Why would you just go and get a normal job and do something boring and have this wave pass you by? Assuming you’re not too scared and you’re not too conservative, you should get on the wave, do something, and just survive and stick with it for a while. Everyone I know who got into entrepreneurship and stuck with it for ten years ended up doing something pretty interesting.

We at AHN Ventures are of the same mind as Patrick, and encourage our readers to go out there and start building! If you like what you read, you can follow Patrick @rottendoubt on all socials. Thank you for the interview, Patrick!

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Filipino-Chinese Lester Yu Of Fruitas Holdings Inc. Further Expands His 25+ Brand Portfolio

One of the leading groups in the food cart industry in the Philippines, Fruitas Holdings Inc., owned by Chinese-Filipino entrepreneur Lester Yu, has expanded its brand portfolio with the acquisition of Ling Nam, a 72-year-old establishment that operates three locations in Manila, Philippines. 

Fruitas’ wholly-owned subsidiary Soykingdom bought 100% of LN Banaue Inc. This firm operates Ling Nam restaurants such Peter K. Fung and Wanton Parlor.

Established in the 1950s, Ling Nam has long served authentic Cantonese noodles, congee, and dim sum. Beef Wanton Noodles, along with various other sizzling and mouth-watering dishes, can be found on the menus of restaurants in Manila’s Banawe and T. Alonzo districts in Quezon City.

Yu’s 25+ brand portfolio is one of the assets to be purchased as part of the acquisition. Soykingdom will pay 60% of the acquisition price when the deal closes. The remaining 40% will be paid till March 2023. The acquisition price is less than 10% of Fruitas’ March 31 assets and book value.

Fruitas had 720 stores across the country as of the end of December 2021, according to Bilyonaryo where they provided customers with fresh fruit shakes and juices, lemonade, coolers, milk tea, desserts, meat-filled pastries, soya-based products, baked goods, and lechon.

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Seattle’s Famous Canlis Restaurant named the First Female Executive Chef

Aisha Ibrahim has been announced as the new head chef of the famed restaurant Canlis in Seattle. She is the first female executive chef at Canlis and joins a long list of notable chefs who have worked at the restaurant over its seven decades.

The management at Canlis was looking for a chef who was interested in that way of thinking, someone who was interested in not simply putting his or her ego on a plate, but rather in actually trying to help inspire an entire industry.

Ibrahim was a sous chef at California’s three-star Manresa. She worked with chef Eneko Atxa at Aziamendi and Azurmendi, developing her culinary horizons.

The new head chef was drawn to Seattle’s wealth of locally sourced ingredients, according to the New York Times, her Canlis dishes would explore the region’s microclimates, traditional cuisine, and Asian influences.

Brian Canlis, a co-owner of the restaurant, considered Ibrahim’s test meal as the final step in the long process. “We set out to find a leader who could help rebuild a broken industry,” he tells Eater. Many kitchen cultures are toxic, he added. They want to continue creating a new norm for how individuals are regarded in kitchens and restaurants.

During the COVID-19 pandemic, Canlis, along with many other restaurants in the past year, experimented with a variety of different service formats. These formats included everything from parking lot yurts to drive-through burgers. 

The famed restaurant has informed that they will soon be opening a restaurant that will be distinct from the one that they previously operated but which they shut down a year ago. They have no interest in going in the other direction and would much rather proceed in the future path.

Canlis will be led by Ibrahim into the post-pandemic future, with the debut of her menu slated for July 2021.

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Darjeeling Express Chef Asma Khan’s New Cookbook Celebrates Women and Her Ammu (Mother)

Cookbook author, activist Indian chef Asma Khan is so much more than just being in the kitchen. 

In addition to owning London’s Darjeeling Express and hosting her own online cooking class, YesChef, she uses her platforms to advocate for world hunger, mentoring immigrant women, gender equality, and calling out toxic work cultures in kitchens.

With the release of ‘Ammu: Indian Home-Cooking to Nourish Your Soul’, The Bengali chef continues to redefine how women are portrayed at home and in restaurant kitchens, with a loving ode to her Ammu (or mother).

“Ammu [is] a tribute to these powerful women”, Asma tells Elle Canada, “the sharp things in our lives and the anchors that kept us going in difficult and stormy times. There [are] births, deaths [and] marriages in our culture; food is a very important element of that. That’s what this book really reflects.”

Ammu is filled with 100 dishes that will leave your mouth-watering recipes that have been carefully passed down from generation to generation.

Asma hopes the readers to try her chicken biryani, “Because I’ve worked so hard on getting the recipe right and I [know] people have recreated it” she tells Elle Canada.

According to The Guardian, Asma Khan’s biryani has the power to make you cry — not in the hyperbolic, internet vernacular sense, where food is considered “amazing”, “divine” or “to die for”

Asma also recommends trying out cooking any of the kababs, fish dopiyaza, and prawn malai.

“So much of our food is bastardized into [something that is] super spicy, oily, with cream and butter. If I put [that] much cream and butter in my shoe, it’ll taste nice! Our food is actually light and refreshing, but most people don’t associate those words with Indian food.” 

As the only female-founded, all-female kitchen cooking Indian food globally, she hopes that the next generation of women would surpass her, “That will be my greatest victory.”

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Bald, Bold, and Beautiful: Proud Of Being Fifty-Five Walking My Truth

In the view of society, hair is connected with youthfulness and beauty in women, virility, and masculinity in men. It should come as no surprise that hair loss may make many men and women feel self-conscious. But should that be always the case?

Caroline Mangune Alanis was only 4 years old when she lost all her hair, “I don’t even know what it is like to have hair.” she said. Caroline has Alopecia Universalis (AU)  — the rarest form of Alopecia Areata, it’s an autoimmune condition that attacks the hair follicles.

Growing up Bald

Born in the Philippines to a strict father and a sweet and kind soul mother, as she describes, “My dad didn’t allow me to go out with friends a lot. I was never allowed to go on sleepovers.  He sheltered me from people. I never realized that until I was an adult, and reflected on my childhood.” She also has two brothers who were protective as well.

At the tender age of 4, she was already practicing “DAILY AFFIRMATIONS” although she never knew how impactful they were,  “I was always told to look in the front of the mirror.  I would say, I am beautiful, I am strong, I am special. I have beautiful eyes, beautiful skin, etc.”  Her parents never told her the pain and heartbreak of raising her, rather they just always told her how special and beautiful she was, “They always told me I was meant to stand out.”

She had no recollection of the time her hair started falling out, but she was told that her hair fell off within a 2-week time frame, “My mom said it could have been brought by stress from an earthquake we had in the Philippines.”  

Caroline was never allowed to say negative words about herself, or else her father would scold her. She was imparted that words she says about herself will either bring her up or tear her down, “So maybe I thought negative things about myself, but I never said it. Growing up bald, I never felt ugly, just incomplete.”

Growing up bald, I never felt ugly, just incomplete.

– Caroline Mangune Alanis

Although her parents taught her how to be courageous and had always made her feel how beautiful and blessed she was, growing up bald was not easy — she had to endure the everyday pressure of life. “There was the pressure of seeing little girls with beautiful hair and wishing every day that I had that. There was the pressure of kids being mean and pulling off my bandana and laughing at me because I was bald.” She faced the pressure of name-calling and bullying.

Caroline’s parents finally convinced her to start wearing a wig which, unfortunately, didn’t make things easier as she recalls. Walking home from school one day with her brother, a girl decided it would be fun to pull Caroline’s wig off and throw it on the ground. “At that moment, all I could do was cry and run home,” she adds, “every day I feared leaving the house, the emotional scar is unimaginable.”

She learned how to hide her AU, she felt as if people wouldn’t accept her for being her so it became a secret, and only her family and those she truly trusted, which were not many, knew the real Caroline.

In high school, only a handful knew about her AU, “which made it so easy to try to blend in since I never wanted to stand out, never!” The ironic part about it, as Caroline describes, was she would always be the one to be called by her teachers to lead a project, sing solos, and participate in plays and fashion shows. They even nominated her to join the homecoming queen and enter a beauty pageant. However, “I realized that my fear never really went away by keeping my AU a secret and the emotional scar was also still a part of my life.”

Every day I feared leaving the house, the emotional scar is unimaginable.

-Caroline Mangune Alanis

Being Bold With The Love Of Her Life

She met her husband Mark from work, where they were both managing stores at a mall in Chicago. They became best friends and were each other’s plus one at weddings, “We didn’t start dating until I transferred to another mall.” she said.    

But the day has to come when she must tell Mark about her condition, “Telling Mark about my alopecia was very difficult. He once told me that he loved hair and eyes on a woman,” she adds, “He himself has gorgeous hair.” Caroline felt she didn’t have one of the criteria Mark was looking for. Although she mentioned several times that she had something to tell him and he would always say “whenever you are ready.” Caroline thought that they both knew that Mark is aware of her wearing a wig, they just never talked about it. 

Mark and Caroline had been dating for about a year when she finally tried to tell him one evening. She got choked up and started crying. He told her, “Caroline, don’t you think I know you by now from your head down to your toes?” He had tears in his eyes. She then asked Mark why he didn’t tell her.  He replied, “I wanted you to trust me enough to tell me”.  

As they began to start their family, Caroline’s AU became their secret. She held her family bound to her alopecia. When her daughters’ were infants, she wouldn’t carry them in public for fear that they would pull her wig. “They were taught never to touch mommy’s hair, ever!” 

Her daughter could never have friends sleep over because it would be very uncomfortable for Caroline to be her in her own home. “My daughters were always fearful when we were out in public, especially on windy days.” 

Caroline’s baldness was a big secret, even her husband’s family didn’t know, “because I hid so much all my life, I didn’t realize I walked in fear every day.  I didn’t realize I lived in bondage.”

Mark told her, “Caroline, don’t you think I know you by now from your head down to your toes?” He had tears in his eyes. She then asked Mark why he didn’t tell her.  He replied, “I wanted you to trust me enough to tell me”.  

Embracing Being Beautiful

In the summer of 2015, her life opened a new door, she became a part of an International Alopecia Group on Facebook and realized that her journey with AU has prepared her to help others like her. She saw so many men and women devastated by losing their hair. They were going through a lot of emotional pain, “You see, alopecia can happen at any time in one’s life so the adults experience a loss and have to grieve.” Caroline said. Alopecia might not be life-threatening but it is life-altering. Hair, eyebrows, and lashes truly make a difference in one’s appearance, “I myself put my face on every day.” she added. 

She also saw some men and women walking proudly bald. One man, in particular, Anthony Carrigan, an actor who also kept his alopecia a secret but he came out and had been helping others and is a beacon of light.  

Then, Caroline started giving advice about doing daily affirmations, “doing lots of SELF LOVE!”  as well as giving makeup tips, the alopecia community knows her as the “Eyelash Queen”.

But once the parents of alopecia children started posting their heartbreaks, “that’s when I realized my parents’ challenges of raising me, a bald child.” Caroline started reiterating what her parents taught her. She gave advice to parents, about how special their child was, how they were perfect and beautiful just as they were. “Alopecia children are so strong,” she noted.

“I then realized I was all those things: perfect, beautiful, and strong,” she said, but her baldness was still a secret. Caroline thought to herself, how does she encourage others to accept themselves if she herself could not let people know about her condition? So as those thoughts lingered in her head, she began telling her family and friends — she only wanted to tell people, not show people. Her goal was to have 30 different wigs for each day of the month.

“But God! God had other plans for me,” the unexplainable started occurring, her wigs became unbearably uncomfortable to wear, “it almost felt like my scalp was burning,” which she thought was completely strange since she has been wearing them for 40 years. It took a lot to take a look at herself bald.  She then began to think, “How can I tell my daughters  and others that beauty really lies deep within if I myself can’t see past my lack of hair?”

On August 14, 2015, on her way home with her husband from dinner, Caroline’s wig was getting itchy so she took it off to scratch her head. She was about to put her wig back on but Mark held her hand to stop her. He said “Honey, don’t put it on, you’re fine. You are safe with me, nothing can hurt you, and no one will hurt you. You are beautiful.” She reluctantly did what he asked and wanted to be strong for him. 

Mark kept holding her hand tight and kept asking if she was okay,  “I just kept saying it is scary.”  As they were nearing their home, her husband pulled over and said “Come on let’s take a selfie.” to lighten the situation. Her husband dropped Caroline off in front of their home, with her wig in her purse. Mark told her to go ahead and go into their home.  

“For the first time in 40  years, I felt God’s love on my head. The soft wind touched my head, a few raindrops falling on my head. I cried and laughed as I ran to my house.” she recalls.  

After that night, her husband helped Caroline with her small steps into seeing herself for who she was — a beautiful woman living with AU. Slowly, she found herself no longer wearing her wigs. They would go on drives and take walks on the beach. “I felt free, my secret slowly fading; including the emotional scar.”

I felt free, my secret slowly fading; including the emotional scar.

-Caroline Mangune Alanis

“On Sept 9, 2015, I posted it on Facebook, I cried the whole night.  Everyone was so kind.  I was still afraid, but I started walking bald.” she expressed.

In the fall of that year, it started getting cold and she didn’t like her hats since they looked terrible without any hair. She was pretty sad because she really did not want to start wearing her wigs again, “I just prayed and asked God to lead me in what I am supposed to do. I got my answer on Sunday, October 4th,” A lady stopped her and asked if she has Alopecia, to which she responded “Yes!”. The woman said, so did she, and asked Caroline, how does she do it? — She knew the lady meant how she could walk around without her wig.

Caroline answered “I don’t know. This is all new to me. “God is giving me the strength to do this. I couldn’t have done this on my own.” So that day, she officially retired all her wigs. “Yes, I put them all away for those special occasions,” she added.

She has met so many people just like her all over the world which inspired her to start her own Alopecia Group in Chicago, where they meet once a month. “I love having a family I call my own, people who truly understand me.”

The Chicago Alopecians

Caroline together with her friends started the Facebook group, with her as the main facilitator. It is a place where they can share their personal journeys and ask for advice or help. The Chicago Alopecians’ mission is to ensure that no one feels alone. Recently, they have been planning to create more events to cater to everyone, children, teens, and men. 

“We each have our own alopecia journey and we just want to connect with each other,” said Caroline. They also allow wig vendors in the group, “Chicagoland is such a big place. I love having a solution for everyone in the group.” As of writing, they currently have 332 members, and they’ve also started an Instagram page to widen their reach.

For the international group, Caroline is also encouraging others to create their own alopecia groups — their own tribe in their local towns.

“I have always known God wanted me to stand out, but I was always afraid.  These days, I am no longer afraid to not have my wig on, I embrace it.”

Caroline is truly a woman who is defying what society calls “beautiful”.