The American Dream: A Promise, a Paradox, and the Asian Experience
News
February 14, 2025
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The Immigrant Struggle
“We dream of going to America, to change our lives, we believed. But my life changed so much. I felt sad about life, didn’t know the language, and didn’t know the roads. I had no friends, so I felt very sad.” – Phong, a Vietnamese American expat interviewed by the Pew Research Center.
“I sometimes, just a little, wish that I would disappear so that my parents and my sister could be better off.” – Nolan, an Asian American interviewed by the Pew Research Center.
Dreams vs. Reality
The American Dream is often celebrated as a path to success, yet its reality is far more nuanced. Tales of rags to riches from Asian peers suggest its promise, but the Pew Research Center reports that one in ten Asian Americans still live in poverty as of 2024. The issue lies not solely in the Dream itself but in how it is constructed and understood.
For many Asians, the American Dream is synonymous with upward mobility achieved through hard work and resilience—a belief that effort alone can overcome systemic barriers. But resilience, by its nature, demands enduring hardship and accepting foreignness, perpetuating a narrative that reinforces isolation and discrepancy.
The American Dream is synonymous with upward mobility achieved through hard work and resilience (Image Source: Roberto Parada)
The Illusion of Gold
The idolization of a Western nation paved in gold is an illusion that perpetuates xenophobia and the model minority myth. This ideological flaw is alluring and dangerous. We have all heard heartbreaking stories of illegal labor exports and stowaway immigrants. Yet we tend to remember the rags-to-riches stories because it is comforting to view ourselves as the ones who might make it. All while labeling these immigrants as illegal, the other, the individual Asian Americans who will live in poverty. But by doing so, we have fallen trapped in the American Dream, clawing our way to the top for the sake of others.
After the pandemic, anti-Asian and hate crimes have increased. The encounter paints a reflection of our society, there is no line between the one and the other nine, we are Asians and that is our identity. Then is the American Dream a lie? Not necessarily—but it is far from universal.
Community as the Key
Like all dreams, it is what we make of it. Whether in America, Asia, or any part of the world, opportunities coexist with difficulties. Moving to another country means tackling obstacles such as language and cultural barriers alongside the burden you once had at home. Statistics show that 61% of Asian adults seek family and friends when facing financial burdens. This can become challenging when migrating to a new country.
The key lies in recognizing that success is not achieved alone. Building networks and fostering solidarity within communities can challenge the isolating demands of resilience and redefine the Dream as a collective effort toward meaningful progress.
The American Dream is both a beacon of hope and a paradox. For many Asian Americans, the pursuit of upward mobility comes with sacrifices that are often overlooked. Yet, success doesn’t need to be a solitary journey. By embracing shared struggles and fostering a supportive community, one can find hope by redefining what the American Dream truly means.
The first and top vegan cosmetics company in Indonesia, ESQA Cosmetics, raised $6 million in a series A round led by Unilever Ventures marking the latter’s first investment in the Southeast Asian beauty market.
In the said round, East Ventures also participated, the venture arm of the global consumer goods giant.
After spending over ten years living and working in Los Angeles, Cindy Angelina and Kezia Trihatmanto created ESQA in 2016, shortly after their return to Indonesia.
The two intended to redefine luxury cosmetic products and make them more widely available and reasonably priced.
With the acquired funds, the company plans to use the money to reach more cities and markets while also extending its omni-channel distribution.
Additionally, they want to expand their product offerings, foster talent development, and amplify their marketing initiatives.
Prior to this, the company reportedly increased its sales to Vietnam, Singapore, and Malaysia.
TECHINASIA mentioned that one of the company’s expansion initiatives was to sell its goods through Sociolla’s physical storefronts, another East Ventures-backed startup.
Accordingly, the business stated that despite the pandemic, it had managed to turn a profit with its 120 vegan and Halal-certified products.
Avina Sugiarto, a partner at East Ventures, stated in Deal Street Asia that by having consistent profitability, they weren’t looking for high-quality, hyperlocal, and affordable beauty products.
She continued saying “We were certain that ESQA’s innovative, natural ingredients and wide-product offerings will propel ESQA to be a leader in the beauty market in Southeast Asia.”
Big egg-shaped platters filled with famous egg noodle pancit, mouthwatering pork sisig, cold cans of beer, and blithe stand-up comic acts are offered as part of the restaurant’s unique dining experience.
The brain behind the comedy events is Filipino-American C.J. Toledano, who was born with the background necessary for such lighthearted entertainment.
The Eagle Rock neighborhood of Filipino Americans is the ideal fusion in creating the weekly program that is so exceptionally Los Angeles.
The restaurant’s co-owners, Jun Miranda and Vener Ramos, greased the wheels to serve the dishes and beverages that the predominantly Filipino audience was clamoring for when actress and stand-up comedian Felicia Folkes performed.
Toledano recalled how the Wednesday show got started and said in the Los Angeles Times that Jun Miranda was all about it.
“He just said, ‘The restaurant is yours on Wednesday nights,” Toledano stated which was backed by Miranda saying “I immediately said yes. Of course, I wanted to help the Filipino community.”
Toledano, who co-hosts the program with Orolfo and Rob Haze, stressed that the event is not just for mutual benefit but that “I have a specific vision for the show and the comedians who do it. [I want] people I’m fans of,” he continued.
He added that the intensely vibrant, funky, and fatty flavors of Filipino cuisine at “Motherland”— including the crispy sisig,a deep-fried chopped pork belly flavored with a little of lemon juice, diced onion, bell pepper, ginger and, a little of chicken liver spread; dinakdakan, acombination of grilled and boiled pork belly mixed with onions, peppers — and mayonnaise; chicken adobo with quail egg and fried potatoes; and halo-halo, among others—are just as electrifying as the acts on stage.
“I’m a Filipino guy who grew up in Pennsylvania. I didn’t have many Asian friends. So the show is really killing several birds with one stone — I’m in touch with a culture I was never close to. I’m seeing old friends. New comics. It’s exciting for me,” Toledano admitted.
This may have happened to you (maybe not the musical writing part), or you may know someone from an Asian background who is currently struggling as their parents had strongly expected or already had chosen a job for them.
But how many of you have bravely rejected your parents’ desires, and followed your true passion? Take it from this courageous girl, Joy Regullano. You might remember her from the viral YouTube sketch called White Fetish, or various random acting gigs like the TV Series Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (her line was “Yeah, bitch!”) or Modern Family (with her line was “You fools!”).
That’s right, Joy is quite too far from wearing a white coat. She’s an actress, comedian, and writer — every Asian parents’ nightmare. So when she told her parents that she didn’t want to be a doctor anymore, her father didn’t talk to her for 8 months. Years later, she wrote a comedy musical about it, called Supportive White Parents.
“Working on this musical has been a major part of my healing journey (my parents are imperfect people who were just passing down intergenerational trauma) and maybe it can be part of yours too,” Joy expresses.
Read through as Joy shares how she has discovered her passion for comedy, and her journey to healing and acceptance through her musical.
MY WHOLE LIFE, I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO BE A DOCTOR JUST LIKE MY PARENTS
My parents were born and raised in the Philippines. My dad grew up very poor in one of the provinces, but after scoring in the top percentage of all students across the country on an exam, he got a scholarship to a prestigious science high school in Manila that was all expenses paid. My parents met in medical school, and soon after graduating, they came to the US by way of New York. Eventually, they made their way across the country to Eagle Rock in LA and then Orange County, where I grew up.
My whole life, I thought I was going to be a doctor just like my parents. I tried my best to be the perfect daughter. I got straight A’s and took piano lessons since I was 3 and violin lessons starting at 8. (Well, actually, I got one B+ in AP/IB Physics, but we don’t talk about that B+) I studied math outside of school at Kumon and played educational computer games because it was a productive use of my time. I read medical books my parents had lying around the house and had subscriptions to science magazines in high school, for fun.
But as I grew older, there was a part of me that was starting to love writing and making people laugh. For 7th-grade vocabulary exercises, I cared more about making my sentences funny than using the word right. My favorite part about English and Spanish group projects was writing the scripts and acting in them. I wrote bad high school poetry. But I didn’t think that was an acceptable thing to want to do with my life, so I shoved that part down, deep inside me. I did write for the school newspaper and compete in speech contests and debate teams, but that was about the extent of my (public) creative life.
But as I grew older, there was a part of me that was starting to love writing and making people laugh.
-Joy Regullano
I LOVED FEELING LIKE I COULD MAKE THE AUDIENCE LAUGH AND CRY JUST BY TELLING AN HONEST STORY
I went to UC Berkeley pre-med and was planning to take over my dad’s clinic when he retired. But in the first semester of my freshman year, I got a B on my first math test and a C on my first chem test, and I panicked. After some soul-searching, I realized I wasn’t actually passionate about any of that and ended up cycling through a bunch of different majors before landing on Theater and Southeast Asian Studies.
I wrote a play in college about a friend who had passed away in high school, and when I put it up in front of an audience, I was hooked. I loved feeling like I could make the audience laugh and cry just by telling an honest story. Just by being myself. I wanted to do that for the rest of my life. I loved Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s work so much that I couldn’t even watch them for a long time because it hurt that I wasn’t doing what they were doing.
I wrote the book and the lyrics to a comedy musical called “Supportive White Parents” about an Asian girl who tells her parents she doesn’t want to be a doctor anymore, and when they’re disappointed, she wishes on a shooting star for supportive white parents. Eventually, she learns to love her Filipino parents for who they are. My friends Sam Johnides and Tony Gonzalez wrote the music.
The musical was inspired by my life. When I told my parents I didn’t want to be a doctor like them and take over my dad’s clinic, my dad yelled at me, called me selfish, and didn’t talk to me for 8 months. I was absolutely devastated, even though I knew that making people laugh and cry was what I had been put on this earth to do.
I felt so jealous of my white theater classmates with their seemingly endlessly supportive white parents. And funny enough, they were jealous of me because I had something called “discipline”, played multiple instruments, and knew other languages. And thus, the seed of a musical was born.
Eventually, she learns to love her Filipino parents for who they are.
-Joy Regullano
LAUGHING AT OURSELVES CAN BE ONE OF THE BEST WAYS TO HEAL
There aren’t many Asian American musicals, let alone comedy Asian American musicals. One of my teachers says that comedy is the back door to the truth. I think that laughing at ourselves can be one of the best ways to heal, as well as realizing that we are not alone.
We as a generation are going through this together, and also, we, as well as our parents, are the products of society and intergenerational trauma. We are all imperfect people who are trying the best we can with the tools we have.
ACCEPTANCE IS THE QUICKEST WAY TO SANITY AND PEACE
I love the serenity prayer. There are some things that we can change, and we should do what we can to change those things. There are some things we can’t change, and it’ll drive you crazy trying to. You can’t control other people. You can only control yourself. The sooner you can accept other people are how they are, the sooner you’ll stop giving your energy away.
Also, one thing I learned that blew my mind is that it’s actually not love, to wish that your parents or family were different than who they are. If what I was asking from them was to love me for exactly who I am, with all my imperfections, isn’t that what I should be giving them too? Unconditional love and acceptance? (That’s not to say that you shouldn’t have boundaries – that could be a whole other article.) But accepting things you can’t change is the quickest way to sanity and peace.
If what I was asking from them was to love me for exactly who I am, with all my imperfections, isn’t that what I should be giving them too?
-Joy Regullano
It’s a daily practice. But try it! After reading “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck”, I tried to imagine that I only had one f– to give a day. How much energy would I be saving by only getting bent out of shape over the most important things!? I’m not really good at giving only one f– a day. But I’ll keep trying.
One more thing – some people need to be angry before they move to acceptance. I know I did, and I still feel angry sometimes. Accepting yourself and your feelings is part of the process too. Wherever you are in your journey is okay.
Victor Montiel and Melissa Keomoungkhoun were on the verge of tears as they expressed their gratitude to the Tatsu Dallas’ personnel for making their experience unforgettable.
The couple, who are both deaf, revealed in Today that they are used to getting ready in explaining themselves using their voices and American Sign Language, displaying texts from their phones, or even asking for pen and paper.
Melissa’s sister was worried that interaction with the staff would be difficult because she was aware that “omakase” means that diners receive meals that include foods chosen especially by the chef, which means more word-of-mouth discussion.
In advance of this, Melissa wrote Tatsu to inquire as to whether they could still enjoy the meal to its fullest without being able to hear the chef describe each course. She was shocked to learn that they had already gotten the tasting menu, which also listed the available drinks/cocktails, and that a complete menu will be available when they visited.
What surprised them more was the night of their reservation as they were greeted in American Sign Language (ASL) by the staff, including the Beverage Director who is the wife of the chef-owner.
Melissa was quoted saying that “With the staff signing at Tatsu, we didn’t feel left out even though it created some attention in the room.”
She also shared that they gazed in wonder at the excellent service that they received.
The excellent personnel and food service that Tatsu delivers to its guests were posted on Twitter by Melissa’s sister Nataly Keomoungkhoun, the online dining editor of D magazine. Her tweet received thousands of likes and retweets.
The chef-owner Tatsuya Sekiguchi, claims that when working in New York City, he had an encounter that solidified his resolve to always offer the best service he can, he stated “I believe that everyone and every day are unique.” He went on to clarify that his current objective is to just make every meal a special and memorable one.
In her tweet, Nataly put into words how Tatsu exceeded the couple’s expectations where they had the best experience possible.
