The Spirit of a Fighter: How Stepping Into a Muay Thai Ring Changed the Way Alice Shikina Works as a Mediator and Negotiation Trainer
Stories
March 10, 2026
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The first time Alice Shikina stepped into a Muay Thai ring, the moment felt bigger than the fight itself. The gloves were heavy, but what weighed more was everything she had been carrying in the months before.
She was in her late thirties, newly divorced, and raising two young children on her own. Her kids were just two and five years old, and the life she had carefully built no longer looked the same.
At the same time, she was trying to establish herself as a mediator and build her own business from the ground up. She didn’t know it yet, but the self-trust she was about to forge in that ring would become the foundation of how she led others through their own conflicts.
The Fight Before the Fight
Kickboxing began as a way to cope during a season that felt completely overwhelming. It gave Alice a physical outlet when her thoughts wouldn’t quiet down and her emotions felt too heavy to carry.
A few months later, Alice’s coach asked if she would consider competing. The idea unsettled her because she had never fought before and had never faced someone trained to strike back. For two months, she wrestled with the decision. What frightened her most was not losing, but the possibility of doubting herself under pressure.
When she finally committed, her routine became disciplined and demanding. She trained three hours a day, carving out time in the early mornings and late evenings while continuing to care for her children and grow her work.
The night before her first fight in Iowa, a coach told her that the real fight was already over because it happened during the grueling months of preparation. Once she realized that, her nerves calmed and a quiet steadiness took over. Even as she approached the ring to step in and fight, she felt unusually calm. She didn’t win that match, but she stayed on her feet until the final bell, and for a woman rebuilding her life, that was more than enough.
What the Ring Taught Her About Pressure
Alice went on to fight three more times. Afterwards, Alice turned her sights to competing in triathlons and even placed first in her age group at the Alcatraz Duathlon. While the medals were nice, the real reward was the quiet discipline she built through the discomfort of training.
She came to understand that fear does not simply fade with time. It softens only when you decide to move toward it.
She also learned that preparation changes how you carry yourself in difficult moments. When you put in the work, you stand differently, breathe more steadily, and think more clearly under pressure.
Today, those lessons shape how she sits with couples navigating divorce and teams facing workplace conflict. When emotions rise and conversations begin to unravel, she remains steady, drawing on the same discipline that once kept her composed in the ring.
Building Her Practice on Her Own Terms
Alice now runs Shikina Mediation and Arbitration full-time, helping divorcing couples, families, and organizations reach agreements they once thought were out of reach. Most clients come to her when communication has broken down and trust feels fragile.
Early in her career, she tried building her business by networking with attorneys, but quickly saw the bias against non-attorney mediators in a field long dominated by older white men. Instead of forcing herself into a system that did not fully welcome her, she shifted her focus to working directly with couples and workplace clients, growing her practice into a thriving full-time business over the past decade. In 2025, Alice was awarded the prestigious Raymond Shonholtz Visionary Peacemaker Award by San Francisco’s Community Boards.
Her work has expanded beyond the mediation room. She hosts the podcast, Negotiation with Alice, now over 100 episodes strong. She authored the book Negotiating with Your Kids, and continues to teach communication and conflict resolution to executives and C-Suite staff. As a second-generation Okinawan American whose parents survived the Battle of Okinawa as children, resilience runs deep in her story.
Nothing in business, she says, will ever feel as intimidating as stepping into a ring to face an unknown opponent. In that ring, she rebuilt her confidence. At the mediation table, she now helps others rebuild their lives with clarity, courage, and peace.
Having experienced homelessness himself, Alex Nguyen knows firsthand how challenging it can be to not have even the basic essentials.
Growing up as a first-generation Vietnamese child, raised by a single mother who had him at a young age, Alex faced many challenges that most of us can’t even imagine. But instead of letting his difficult past define him, he decided to take action. This is what inspired him to start Project Peace Clothing.
Alex admits that he has dealt with some trauma and mental health issues growing up, and for this he decided to undergo a three-and-a-half-year therapy. Now, Alex is a mental health nurse, slowly working towards his psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner degree. He’s passionate about helping people who struggle with mental health issues, especially those in the addiction population and the homeless community.
Through his clothing line, Alex is not only advocating for mental wellness and women’s empowerment, but he’s also helping the homeless community. For every purchase from Project Peace Clothing, Alex gives another homeless person not just the basic survival needs like food and water, but also a piece of clothing to help keep them warm on cold nights.
Alex’s past has made him more compassionate and empathetic towards homeless people, and he’s using his experiences to make a positive impact on the world. He believes that intentional acts of kindness, even if unnoticed, can cause a ripple effect that touches the lives of many.
Join us as we take a closer look at the inspiring story of Alex Nguyen and his mission to spread peace, love, and kindness through Project Peace Clothing.
MOVING FROM PLACES TO PLACES
Alex’s mother was only 17 years old when she became pregnant with him by his father, who fled the country when Alex was just one year old. Growing up was challenging for both Alex and his mother, as they never had a stable place to live. They frequently moved from place to place because the rent was difficult to pay, and there were times they slept in their car or rented a motel day by day. While his mother was at work, Alex was often left with other relatives, and she eventually dropped out of college to support him.
During his college years, Alex continued to face challenges. He lived in a garage at a friend’s house for several years and worked two jobs while studying. He even had to carpool with two friends because he didn’t have a car, and he didn’t have any support besides himself. Despite all of this, he persevered and graduated in 2017, hoping that his life would finally turn for the better.
A SENSE OF FULFILLMENT AND HAPPINESS
Growing up in an unstable household without a parental figure to guide him, Alex learned everything on his own and developed a survival mentality. He made friends and reached out to distant relatives for support, and started working at a young age to make ends meet. For a long time, he believed that money was the solution to all his problems.
After graduating and becoming a nurse in 2018, Alex began working over 60 hours a week. It was also around this time that he realized he was suffering from mental illness. He had been independent for so long that he didn’t realize the toll it had taken on his mental health.
By 2021, Alex was working three jobs and neglecting his physical and mental health. One day, while at work, he permanently damaged his lower back when he tried to catch a falling patient.
He was forced to leave two of his three jobs and had time to reflect on his life. It was during this period that he realized that caring for others, particularly those suffering from mental illness, gave him a sense of fulfillment and happiness. He realized that money did not bring him happiness.
Alex started transitioning to become a mental health nurse and is now pursuing a degree as a Psychiatric Mental Health NP. He finds peace and happiness in helping those in need and believes that this is his true calling in life.
PROJECT PEACE CLOTHING
Alex’s own experiences with homelessness growing up inspired him to start Project Peace Clothing. He remembers the freezing nights sleeping in his car and can empathize with those who are currently experiencing homelessness. He believes that his ability to put himself in other people’s shoes and feel their suffering comes from having experienced similar hardships himself. Alex cares deeply for those without housing and acknowledges that many people struggle to empathize with the homeless due to stereotypes and misconceptions.
While working as a nurse, Alex would create care packages for those without housing, which he would distribute during the day or at night. He would buy supplies from Costco and Walmart, put them together in bags, and leave a few in his car to hand out when he saw someone in need. However, he wanted to do more than just provide care packages. He wanted to provide clothes and warmth to those who need them, particularly at night when the temperatures drop.
This desire to make a bigger impact led Alex to start Project Peace Clothing. Through this initiative, he hopes to provide warmth and comfort to the homeless community by distributing blankets, jackets, hats, and other clothing items. Alex’s firsthand experience with homelessness has taught him the importance of basic necessities such as warm clothing, and he is passionate about helping those in need.
The Empower Women collection was inspired by Alex’s girlfriend of 10 years. “I wouldn’t be here today without her,” he said. This collection aims to promote positive messages that make women feel good and valued.”
THAT WAS PEACE
Project Peace Clothing has had a significant impact on the community so far, despite its small scale. As a nurse and student, Alex dedicates his time to helping people both at work and outside of work.
Alex also shares a heartwarming story about a recent encounter he had while ordering one of his favorite desserts called che, a Vietnamese dessert:
“I saw a young homeless Asian pacing back and forth in front of the shop. He reminded me of myself, and something deep inside me wanted to talk to him. I asked him, “Hey, are you hungry? Do you want anything?” He responded that he wished to have the Che 3 Mau, but here at the Hien Khanh, there are a few options, so I got all of the possibilities with some extra savory food for him to share with others.
As I gave him the food, I remember he told me, “How’s your day?” I responded, “It’s good, thank you.” I walked back to my girlfriend, and when I was about to reverse, I saw him in my mirror, looking up into the sky after sipping the dessert drink. To me, that was peace.”
ADVICE ON MAKING A POSITIVE IMPACT IN THE COMMUNITY
When asked for advice on how to make a positive impact on one’s community, Alex recommends following one’s passion and seeking to understand the specific community or population one wishes to help. This may involve volunteering and actively engaging with members of the community. Alex stresses the importance of being open-minded and actively listening, with the intention to both attend and talk. He believes that this approach can be life-changing and can make a meaningful difference in the lives of others.
Jilly Bing was founded by first-generation Chinese-American Elenor Mak. She believes that toys play an essential role in helping children make sense of the world, with dolls serving as tools to build self-esteem and self-acceptance. Her vision for Jilly Bing is to create a line of dolls and toys that authentically represent Asian-American children, nurturing a deeper appreciation of Asian culture.
In this latest installment about Jilly Bing, we’ll revisit its journey with Elenor, showcasing the notable achievements and recent updates that have propelled the company even further in its mission to redefine the world of children’s toys.
Highlights on Jilly Bing’s Journey:
1. Launch Event with Chef Kathy Fang: This past summer, we hosted a launch event in S.F. with Chef Kathy Fang to celebrate the debut of our Jilly Bing doll. We wanted to bring the community together to celebrate. Witnessing the delighted reactions of children who received the doll, exclaiming ‘looks like me’ and ‘has soft black hair like mine,’ confirmed that we were on the right path.
2. Nationwide Sell-Out: Within weeks of shipping our first dolls nationwide, we sold out. I’m proud to say I transformed my basement into a doll packing hub, experiencing firsthand the ‘art’ of doll packing.
3. Increased Interest in Dolls for All Ages: A doll is not just a passing toy – it’s a child’s first friend. The recent Barbie movie renewed interest in dolls for adults and underscored the importance of increasing representation for Asian American children. Sharing our journey on national TV, such as the Today show, has sparked interest from families nationwide who, even without Asian children, want dolls that resemble their friends.
Customer Reactions to Jilly Dolls:
Our team has been deeply moved by the incredible responses from both children and adults! It fills our hearts with pride to witness the sheer joy on the faces of children, both girls and boys, as they receive our dolls. Their delighted exclamations, such as “She looks like me!” and “Mama, she looks like you,” warm our hearts.
The stories we hear about how these dolls become inseparable companions for these kids, accompanying them on shopping adventures, sharing sleepovers (shoes off, of course), and even joining them for a hot pot meal, are simply heartwarming. But it’s not only children who celebrate these dolls; adult women have shared, time and time again, that this is the doll they had always wished for during their own childhood.
One customer, who discovered us through a mom’s group, shared this touching reflection: “I grew up gazing at all the Barbies and dolls in stores, and none of them looked like me. It left me with a lingering feeling that something was wrong with me, always making me wish for blonde hair and big, round blue eyes. Now, at 44 years old, this doll has rekindled the sense of how special and proud I would have felt to have seen a doll that truly resembled me.”
What’s next for Jilly Bing?
Jilly doll is just the beginning. Our goal is to expand the dolls to create a “cast of lovable Asian American characters” whose identities go beyond just East Asian to fully represent the nuanced identities of all Asian Americans. My vision is to create a “modern-day educational Hello Kitty” with Jilly Bing. I want all children to know they belong and that they are beautiful as they are.
Connect with Jilly Bing:
We’re thrilled to be back in stock! Join us in making Jilly a beloved friend in every home this holiday season and shaping a more inclusive world for our children.
Postpartum care is a critical period for new mothers, yet it is often overlooked in our society.
Many women struggle with physical and emotional changes after giving birth, and the lack of support and attention to their needs can lead to postpartum depression and other health issues. This is why Dr. Kristal Lau’s book on postpartum care is a crucial addition to the conversation.
When Kristal joined the AHN community two years ago, she was still pivoting out of her medical career. She shared that her mom has been encouraging her to pursue her idea of writing a book on Malaysian Chinese postpartum confinement practices and include notes from her medical background.
During her confinement month after birthing her first child, Kristal compromised with her mother to modernize some of the confinement practices by medical logic. With a balance of traditional Chinese and modern postpartum care, her book provides a comprehensive guide for modern moms to take care of themselves during this important time while feeling connected to their Chinese roots.
In this article, we will dive into Kristal’s journey as an author. We will also explore why postpartum care should be a mainstream topic and why it is important to prioritize the health and well-being of new mothers.
BECOMING A MOTHER OF TWO
I practiced medicine in Australia as a Basic Physician Trainee before moving to the USA and would’ve chosen to specialize in geriatrics medicine if I hadn’t met my husband.
Ironically, I’ve chosen to work in the perinatal world now, because I used to actively avoid seeing pregnant women patients when I was a junior doctor. I felt intimidated by the responsibility of two lives and potentially more if the patient already had children.
Becoming a mother of 2 while facing the challenges of a modern immigrant from South East Asia to the West (and being a US military spouse) opened my eyes to the importance of postpartum care in setting mothers up to thrive in the postpartum year and beyond. Especially when I was planning for my first confinement practice and had to adapt things to where we were living in rural Alabama. From this experience, I decided that contributing to a small part of the perinatal industry was fitting.
POSTPARTUM 30: THIRTY DAYS TO A NURTURED FOURTH TRIMESTER
The core message of my book entitled “Postpartum 30: Thirty Days to a Nurtured Fourth Trimester” is about preserving a traditional and cultural practice so that it remains relevant to current and future generations. Otherwise, we’d forget!
So, the key components of my book showcase the best of both worlds. I discuss postpartum physiology (what we know today about how the birthing body recovers after birth) and basic Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) principles around the postpartum body.
I have chapters dedicated to adapting confinement practices to fit a modern mom and her family’s needs and lifestyle. I also guide readers on how to respectfully tell their mothers or mothers-in-law that they’d like to practice a modern version of confinement and include them in the picture.
MODERN MOMS WITH CHINESE ROOTS CAN EASILY BENEFIT FROM THIS BOOK
Firstly, it’s written in English! Readers don’t have to know any Mandarin or Chinese dialects (just like me!) to understand the TCM and confinement concepts I discuss in the book.
Secondly, I include historical references about the confinement practice and discuss why certain practices made sense to our ancestors. Finally, I challenge two aspects of the traditional confinement practice head-on. I encourage readers to embrace all the emotions that come with the chaos of the postpartum period instead of pushing them away. And I encourage spouses and partners to be the main confinement support person rather than another family member.
PUBLISHING MY BOOK HAS BEEN VERY SURREAL
I fully invested in writing this book after the overwhelming support from Asian Hustle Network group members when this book was just an idea. I also appreciated the nuances brought up by the AHN members in that defining post which added more to developing my book’s content. My first beta readers were also from the AHN community!
I’ve always wanted to be an author ever since I was a teen, so I can’t believe that I’ve done it! The book has also allowed me to represent a small part of Malaysian and Chinese culture to the world. Plus, it’s my biggest ticket away from medicine and into carving out an unconventional career that works for me!
Making time to write my book was the biggest challenge because I got pregnant with my second baby just after starting a 6-month book coaching program to develop my book. I’ve also been living in Germany since 2020 due to my husband being stationed here at a military base. So, I was writing on and off throughout my pregnancy and postpartum year while juggling our newborn, toddler, deployments, 2 dogs, and trying to thrive in a foreign country. The next biggest challenge was believing in myself, and that I have what it takes to write on this topic.
BALANCE AND EVOLUTION FOR POSTPARTUM CARE
To balance traditional Chinese practices of postpartum care with modern medical logic, I drew from my professional background as a medical doctor and a public health graduate, and my personal background as a Malaysian who grew up with both TCM and modern medicine. I also consulted with my medical peers and a TCM doctor (a connection I made through AHN too!) about how postpartum care from the East and West can meet in the middle.
An example of this balance is compromising on the hair-washing practice. Personal hygiene is a big part of the confinement practice. The strict traditional way is no hair washing for the entire confinement month. A modern compromise is to not wash the hair for the first 2 weeks and once you start washing your hair, make sure to dry it completely while in the warm bathroom before stepping out into a more chilly environment.
As more attention is given to the concept of matrescence, the transition a woman goes through to become a mother, it’s important to recognize the need for nurturing and support during this time.
Physical therapy should be a standard part of postpartum care, as many women suffer from pelvic floor and back pain issues after giving birth. Unfortunately, too many women are told that these issues are “normal” and should be lived with. Pain and discomfort should not be considered normal, and pelvic floor rehabilitation should be a global standard of care for all new mothers, rather than being limited to a few countries or requiring out-of-pocket expenses. The rest of us have to learn how to ask for pelvic floor rehabilitation referrals and likely pay out of pocket for it.
CARING FOR NEW MOTHERS
Two big areas where family members can help a new mother in the postpartum period are to help her feel seen and alleviate her mental load.
Unfortunately, new mothers frequently fade into the background as the newborn baby takes the spotlight. So, holding space for the new mother to grow into her new identity and showering her with attention reminds her that she’s still her own person and that she’s equally important as the baby!
Women and mothers are also commonly the main household manager in many families who do all the planning, troubleshooting, and preempting of troubles. This is the mental load of women and mothers. Alleviating this during the postpartum period isn’t just asking her what help she needs, it’s becoming the Project Manager at home while she recovers.
Asking her what she needs still requires her to plan and troubleshoot, and that doesn’t help lighten her mental load when she needs all the energy to recover from birth and care for the newborn.
MODERN MOTHERS HAVE DIFFERENT NEEDS THAN THE GENERATIONS BEFORE
First, society needs to accept that this generation and the upcoming generation of modern mothers have very different needs and challenges compared to the generation before us and not shame us for it.
For example, many women in my generation (especially us Millennials in developing countries like Malaysia) have been conditioned to “do-it-all” i.e. excel at our careers and in being a mother. It’s ingrained in us to “mother like we didn’t have jobs and achieve in our career like we didn’t have children”. Why do moms today carry this burden? It’s likely because we were exposed to conflicting messages about womanhood and motherhood while growing up. We were empowered to be anything we wanted and that we could achieve anything we put our minds and hard work to i.e. embrace the modern woman identity. Yet, we’re still pressured to marry before 30 and start having kids while constantly reminded, “Don’t waste your education by becoming a stay-at-home mom!”. Balancing the identities of an empowered modern woman with the traditional (and biological) roles within motherhood is a unique challenge for many moms of our generation.
So, only when society is willing to empathize with this struggle, then they can provide the social, emotional, and mental support to help modern moms thrive as they go through matrescence.
My book normalizes the notion of nurturing mothers from the beginning of their motherhood journey; the postpartum year. I encourage mothers to prioritize themselves and not feel completely guilty about it. And to get comfortable with asking for help and accepting help before things get too overwhelming. It’s nice to be recognized as a SuperMom but it’s also nice to not have to live up to that image.
Meet Khai Pham, a visionary entrepreneur reshaping how we manage lactose intolerance.
Armed with a business degree from USC, Khai’s journey took an unexpected turn after an eye-opening internship experience. After leading strategy and operations at a tele-orthodontics startup, he took the big step to start his own venture: Milky.
Milky stems from Khai’s personal struggle as a lactose intolerant person. Collaborating with Dr. Michael Seidman, he created Milky, a revolutionary lactase supplement designed for convenience and portability.
The path to Milky’s creation was marked by challenges. Khai and his team encountered manufacturing hurdles and setbacks, but their unwavering dedication and problem-solving spirit prevailed. Join us as we delve deeper into Khai’s journey with Milky.
KHAI PHAM’S JOURNEY WITH VENTURE FOR AMERICA
Venture for America profoundly shaped Khai’s career. Khai revealed the exceptional prospects that startups offer compared to larger corporations. In bigger companies, promotion chances often hinge on the person above you advancing or departing. However, in startups experiencing rapid growth, the entire business expands, creating numerous opportunities.
As a result, Khai’s hard work earned him two well-deserved promotions in just one year, leading him to become an Associate Director, with his initial compensation increasing four times by the time he turned 23. More importantly, Khai was able to engage with more substantial challenges much earlier in his career.
LEADERSHIP LESSONS AS YOUNGEST DIRECTOR
Climbing the ranks at Candid and achieving the distinction of being the youngest Director brought both challenges and growth to Khai Pham. In his perspective, the most demanding aspect of this journey was the increasing gap between decision-making and its outcomes. During the earlier stages of one’s career, tasks are straightforward; you receive assignments like crafting financial models, and when you perform well, immediate feedback follows. That immediate validation is comforting for junior professionals.
However, as one advances into more senior roles, the time gap between decision and result widens significantly. Senior leaders must make weighty choices, such as shaping the market strategy for a new product. Yet, the effects of these decisions might remain concealed for months, even years. This adjustment, bridging the gap between choices and their eventual outcomes, is a formidable mental challenge that confronts most individuals, Khai included. This evolution in leadership style and responsibility marked Khai’s journey as he navigated the complexities of decision-making at Candid.
KHAI’S PERSONAL STRUGGLES THAT LED TO THE BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY
Khai Pham’s personal battle with lactose intolerance ignited the creation of Milky, a transformative lactase supplement.
Khai shared that aside from being lactose intolerant, he also coped with ADHD, which often led him to forget bringing a Lactaid, making casual outings for ice cream, boba, or pizza very hard. Though the idea of a more portable version of Lactaid had crossed his mind, Khai initially didn’t see it as a true business opportunity.
When Khai moved to New York and found his favorite boba shop, Machi Machi, in Koreatown, he kept running the same problem of forgetting his Lactaid. He also noted that the pharmacy in Koreatown always seemed to run out of Lactaids. “Lactaids fly off the shelves at their location,” one of the pharmacy’s employees said. Intrigued by this, Khai went to visit various drug stores across lower Manhattan, asking their employees about Lactaid sales.
Khai shared that the farther he ventured from Koreatown and Chinatown, the less frequently stores experienced Lactaid stock shortages. This was the moment that Khai recognized his idea of a super-thin lactase supplement as a viable business opportunity, setting in motion the Milky journey.
“What I slowly began to realize is that people can’t help you if they don’t know you need help.”
Khai Pham
THE EXPONENTIAL POWER OF NETWORKS
Khai Pham’s collaboration with Dr. Michael Seidman marked a turning point for Milky, their second joint venture. Many wonder how a board-certified surgeon like Dr. Seidman came to co-found a company with Khai. The answer is simple: asking for help.
“I used to play it close to the chest when I was starting a company because I didn’t want to be embarrassed if it didn’t work out. What I slowly began to realize is that people can’t help you if they don’t know you need help,” Khai shared.
With this profound realization, Khai began sharing his desire to start a dietary supplement business with his coworkers and his search for a scientific co-founder. One day, a coworker mentioned a friend whose father, Dr. Seidman, had both a medical background and a penchant for formulating ideas. And the rest was history.
How Khai and Dr. Seidman met illustrates the exponential power of networks, but only if you open up and tell people that you need their help.
KHAI’S INSIGHTS IN NAVIGATING ENTREPRENEURSHIP
When asked what advice he would offer to his younger entrepreneurial self, Khai Pham emphasizes that failure doesn’t equate to poor decision-making. He notes that while they are connected, making the right choice with the information at hand doesn’t guarantee success.
Khai’s experience has taught him that if a decision carries even a 10% chance of yielding a 1000x return, it’s worth taking that calculated risk. Even if it doesn’t pan out, it doesn’t make the decision wrong. He candidly shares that in his earlier career, he often focused on the immediate results of his actions, sticking to high-probability decisions, and missing out on better, higher-expected-value opportunities. For Khai, the key metric for decision-making is expected value, not just the probability of success, a lesson he holds close as he navigates the entrepreneurial landscape.
MILKY’S VISION TO REVOLUTIONIZE DIETARY ACCESSIBILITY
When contemplating the future of Milky, Khai envisions creating an entire ecosystem of dietary accessibility.
While Milky’s initial focus centers on lactose intolerance, Khai recognizes that many individuals face a variety of dietary restrictions, including issues like acid reflux. The prevailing frustration lies in the disconnect between scientific solutions and user experience. Drawing a parallel to Lactaid, Khai points out the impracticality of carrying around large plastic bottles of products like TUMS.
The Milky team aspires to create a world where your entire medicine cabinet can be conveniently carried in your pocket, offering a seamless solution to dietary challenges, thus transforming the lives of those managing lactose intolerance and other dietary issues.
