Contact
  • HOME
  • / MEDIA /
  • Her Father Ignored Her For 8 Months When She No Longer Wanted To Be A Doctor

Stories

December 13, 2022

SHARE:

This may have happened to you (maybe not the musical writing part), or you may know someone from an Asian background who is currently struggling as their parents had strongly expected or already had chosen a job for them.

But how many of you have bravely rejected your parents’ desires, and followed your true passion? Take it from this courageous girl, Joy Regullano. You might remember her from the viral YouTube sketch called White Fetish, or various random acting gigs like the TV Series Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (her line was “Yeah, bitch!”) or Modern Family (with her line was “You fools!”).

That’s right, Joy is quite too far from wearing a white coat. She’s an actress, comedian, and writer — every Asian parents’ nightmare. So when she told her parents that she didn’t want to be a doctor anymore, her father didn’t talk to her for 8 months. Years later, she wrote a comedy musical about it, called Supportive White Parents.

“Working on this musical has been a major part of my healing journey (my parents are imperfect people who were just passing down intergenerational trauma) and maybe it can be part of yours too,” Joy expresses.

Read through as Joy shares how she has discovered her passion for comedy, and her journey to healing and acceptance through her musical.

MY WHOLE LIFE, I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO BE A DOCTOR JUST LIKE MY PARENTS

My parents were born and raised in the Philippines. My dad grew up very poor in one of the provinces, but after scoring in the top percentage of all students across the country on an exam, he got a scholarship to a prestigious science high school in Manila that was all expenses paid. My parents met in medical school, and soon after graduating, they came to the US by way of New York. Eventually, they made their way across the country to Eagle Rock in LA and then Orange County, where I grew up. 

My whole life, I thought I was going to be a doctor just like my parents. I tried my best to be the perfect daughter. I got straight A’s and took piano lessons since I was 3 and violin lessons starting at 8. (Well, actually, I got one B+ in AP/IB Physics, but we don’t talk about that B+) I studied math outside of school at Kumon and played educational computer games because it was a productive use of my time. I read medical books my parents had lying around the house and had subscriptions to science magazines in high school, for fun.

But as I grew older, there was a part of me that was starting to love writing and making people laugh. For 7th-grade vocabulary exercises, I cared more about making my sentences funny than using the word right. My favorite part about English and Spanish group projects was writing the scripts and acting in them. I wrote bad high school poetry. But I didn’t think that was an acceptable thing to want to do with my life, so I shoved that part down, deep inside me. I did write for the school newspaper and compete in speech contests and debate teams, but that was about the extent of my (public) creative life. 

But as I grew older, there was a part of me that was starting to love writing and making people laugh.

-Joy Regullano

I LOVED FEELING LIKE I COULD MAKE THE AUDIENCE LAUGH AND CRY JUST BY TELLING AN HONEST STORY

I went to UC Berkeley pre-med and was planning to take over my dad’s clinic when he retired. But in the first semester of my freshman year, I got a B on my first math test and a C on my first chem test, and I panicked. After some soul-searching, I realized I wasn’t actually passionate about any of that and ended up cycling through a bunch of different majors before landing on Theater and Southeast Asian Studies.

I wrote a play in college about a friend who had passed away in high school, and when I put it up in front of an audience, I was hooked. I loved feeling like I could make the audience laugh and cry just by telling an honest story. Just by being myself. I wanted to do that for the rest of my life. I loved Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s work so much that I couldn’t even watch them for a long time because it hurt that I wasn’t doing what they were doing. 

WHITE PARENTS: A MUSICAL INSPIRED BY MY LIFE

I wrote the book and the lyrics to a comedy musical called “Supportive White Parents” about an Asian girl who tells her parents she doesn’t want to be a doctor anymore, and when they’re disappointed, she wishes on a shooting star for supportive white parents. Eventually, she learns to love her Filipino parents for who they are. My friends Sam Johnides and Tony Gonzalez wrote the music.

The musical was inspired by my life. When I told my parents I didn’t want to be a doctor like them and take over my dad’s clinic, my dad yelled at me, called me selfish, and didn’t talk to me for 8 months. I was absolutely devastated, even though I knew that making people laugh and cry was what I had been put on this earth to do. 

I felt so jealous of my white theater classmates with their seemingly endlessly supportive white parents. And funny enough, they were jealous of me because I had something called “discipline”, played multiple instruments, and knew other languages. And thus, the seed of a musical was born.

Eventually, she learns to love her Filipino parents for who they are.

-Joy Regullano

LAUGHING AT OURSELVES CAN BE ONE OF THE BEST WAYS TO HEAL

There aren’t many Asian American musicals, let alone comedy Asian American musicals. One of my teachers says that comedy is the back door to the truth. I think that laughing at ourselves can be one of the best ways to heal, as well as realizing that we are not alone. 

We as a generation are going through this together, and also, we, as well as our parents, are the products of society and intergenerational trauma. We are all imperfect people who are trying the best we can with the tools we have. 

ACCEPTANCE IS THE QUICKEST WAY TO SANITY AND PEACE

I love the serenity prayer. There are some things that we can change, and we should do what we can to change those things. There are some things we can’t change, and it’ll drive you crazy trying to. You can’t control other people. You can only control yourself. The sooner you can accept other people are how they are, the sooner you’ll stop giving your energy away. 

Also, one thing I learned that blew my mind is that it’s actually not love, to wish that your parents or family were different than who they are. If what I was asking from them was to love me for exactly who I am, with all my imperfections, isn’t that what I should be giving them too? Unconditional love and acceptance? (That’s not to say that you shouldn’t have boundaries – that could be a whole other article.) But accepting things you can’t change is the quickest way to sanity and peace. 

If what I was asking from them was to love me for exactly who I am, with all my imperfections, isn’t that what I should be giving them too?

-Joy Regullano

It’s a daily practice. But try it! After reading “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck”, I tried to imagine that I only had one f– to give a day. How much energy would I be saving by only getting bent out of shape over the most important things!? I’m not really good at giving only one f– a day. But I’ll keep trying.

One more thing – some people need to be angry before they move to acceptance. I know I did, and I still feel angry sometimes. Accepting yourself and your feelings is part of the process too. Wherever you are in your journey is okay.

CONNECT WITH JOY

Instagram: @supportivewhiteparents @joyregullano

Twitter: @swpmusical @joyregullano

Website: www.supportivewhiteparents.com

Be on the lookout for the upcoming Supportive White Parent concept album, to be released in January 2023, with singles leading up to it! 

Related Articles

Image Source: Twrl Milk Tea

Stories

These Two Moms Started Milk Tea Company To Take Pride Of Their AAPI Identity

In order to realize their dream of founding a food company, Olivia Chen and Pauline Ang chose to create Twrl, a milk tea business that embodies their beliefs as mothers, graduates of Berkeley, and members of the AAPI community.

For their whole 20-year friendship, they have always shared a love of food.

In spite of the challenges of setting up a tiny business in the midst of a pandemic, Pauline took the time to experiment and eventually make the tea she wanted. In the Twrl, she invented the first vegan, low-sugar, and low-fat milk tea.

The two eventually hired a co-packer and a food scientist for their canned and on-the-go product.

The co-founders’ early supply purchases from small family farms had been stirring. They were able to help them by making them their suppliers and even assisted them to get non-GMO certification through their products.

Because peas have a neutral flavor, require very little water, and produce significantly fewer carbon emissions than soy and almonds, Twrl used them to make sustainable milk tea.

Olivia and Pauline chose the name Twrl for their company based on a Chinese tale about brewed tea. Twrl is a company that embodies tradition and history with a touch of modernism.

As Asian-Americans who grew up drinking milk tea as part of their family heritage, they are major admirers of it and have even changed its ingredients with their loved ones.

Olivia went on to say that teas in cafés have extremely high-calorie content, low-quality ingredients, and impractical portability. In Twrl, they created its antithesis.

Olivia said they are motivated by the need to create a product that accurately represents America as a nation of immigrants, just like them and their families. A company that offers people the chance to blend their races and serve as role models in the community.

She clears up that as the organization’s founders, they are an Asian-American brand rather than an Asian or American brand.

  • 2 min read
Image Source: qz.com

Stories

How This CEO and Co-Founder of Insurance Company Raised $25M During Her Pregnancy

Founding a business startup and starting a family simultaneously was proved possible by the CEO and co-founder Hanna Wu of Amplify Life Insurance, a life insurance platform focused on helping people build wealth.

Wu first realized the importance of insurance policy when her 20-year-long best friend lost his father and financial backbone at the same time after the latter’s father died of cancer.

Upon knowing more than a year ago that she was pregnant, it gave her mixed emotions as a 16-hour working woman who travels from here and there.

Trying to sort out the situation, she researched articles on early-stage founders as moms but failed to find ones that fit.

As a BIPOC member, she sought a community from the same race who are also women founders only to find out that barely 7% of the global fintech community are women and that they only receive 2.4% of the total capital invested for startups.

Finding no one, Wu felt alone and wondered how others balanced the various startup stages while starting a family.

The journey was never easy for Wu but truly, hard work, goal orientation, and perseverance make everything achievable.

Wu started to plan everything before and after her delivery and how she would be able to raise funds for her business considering the time when the market dropped so low.

While thinking about getting a nanny and how the set-up would be after her delivery, Wu engaged in lower-stakes conversations to test investor sentiments, and fortunately, she was able to secure a large reinsurer’s venture arm.

Wu also woke up early in the morning daily to study for her investment adviser exam and everything else she did with her impending delivery as motivation.

Three days before finally giving birth, they signed the term sheet for the company.

In the 9-month time of pregnancy and struggle towards establishing the business, Wu raised over $25 million in investments and thereafter hired a full leadership team, kicked off their RIA status, signed several significant partnership contracts, and grew their revenue four times: everything planned in her to-do list.

With her success, she shares in Quartz 5 work strategies to prepare for parenthood:

Sort your parental leave plan. It’s harder for early-stage founders to take leave, but preparing your care plan and naming what’s important to you.

Consider your travel schedule. Prioritize travel by business needs, and don’t be afraid to break from the way it “should be” done.

Become an expert on roles and responsibilities at home. You, your co-parents, and caregivers must become experts on the roles and responsibilities at home. Stay connected to the right people and in the right ways. 

Plan for everything and expect failure. Be easy on yourself when mistakes happen, or roadblocks pop up.

You don’t have to choose. We don’t have to choose between our careers and families. It’s not easy, it will be far from perfect, and undoubtedly you’ll need a lot of support, but you can have it all if that’s what you want.

  • 3 min read
Image Source: NBC Sports

News

Dallas Stars Jason Robertson Carves Name in NHL History As Highest Pointer in Latest Season

Jason Robertson made NHL history by playing the second longest-drawn-out game in franchise record and the most lengthy game in Dallas history.

With 22 goals, the most in the NHL, the 23-year-old Filipino-American left winger for the Dallas Stars, made his season a success.

Robertson extended his point streak to 13 games, tying the Dallas Stars record set by Dave Gagner in the early 90s with a point over their opponent Blackhawks on Wednesday.

On Thursday night, he scored three goals, which were assisted by Joel Kiviranta and Wyatt Johnston, as well as Oettinger’s 31 saves in a shutout victory.

His 39 points ranked second in the league, trailing only Connor McDavid and setting himself as the highest-pointer in the 24 games of the season for Dallas Stars. 

Leading the way for the Stars, the victory was the team’s second straight triumph and was the 10th time Dallas had scored points in the previous 11 games.

Additionally, Miro Heiskanen and Roope Hintz also both enjoyed multi-point outings with three and two assists, respectively.

Stars coach Pete DeBoer reportedly claimed that “Robo is a guy that’s honestly hard to defend because he scores in a bunch of different ways,” according to the Dallas Morning News.

“He can score off the rush, he scores kind of lurking around the quiet areas of the ice waiting for the puck to come to him. It always seems to come to him. Tougher to defend a guy like that isn’t predictable,” the coach continued.

Coach Pete also remarked on how amazed he was to see Robertson play such an exceptional game and how incredible the player was for making it seem simple despite the difficulty of the game.

With his nightly exploits, Robertson is starting to catch the attention of the hockey world, which is quite an achievement in a market like Dallas, far from the hockey capital of Toronto. 

He’s outperforming expectations for his $7.75 million cap charge and propelled himself into the early race for the Hart Trophy.

Furthermore, Dallas Stars captain Jamie Benn stated that Robertson is leading the attack with confidence.

  • 2 min read
Image Source: South China Morning Post

Stories

Earthquake Victim With Amputated Legs Masters Dancing With Husband’s Self-Made Prosthetic Limbs

Nothing is impossible to 30-year-old Liao Zhi of Sichuan, China who lost her legs during an earthquake in 2008 but now mastered the art of dancing while wearing high heels with her now husband’s self-made prosthetic legs.

The Chinese former dance teacher caught the online community’s attention with her talent and story being an epitome of hope and faithfulness.

“It’s like she dances with life,” a netizen commented.

During the tragic incident in Sichuan where Zhi was trapped in the ruins of a building for 30 hours, she not only lost her legs but the most important persons in her life, her 10-month-old daughter who died in the disaster and her husband who divorced her seven months after the tragedy.

Being the only one to survive in the devastated building, the brave woman neither shed a tear nor complained of everything she went through including her legs being amputated.

Instead, Zhi said that “The earthquake gave me rebirth.”

After learning to walk with her artificial limbs, Zhi moved on from the nightmare by continuing and staging her passion in different places.

Although the training had been difficult and painful, Zhi was determined in doing what she loves. 

According to the South China Morning Post, she and her husband-dance partner defeated competitors in China and won as first runner-up in the reality show Dance Out My Life in 2013. 

Her husband became her strong support in recovering from her downfall.

Despite having been through a lot, Zhi remained optimistic. “Dance is my ray of sunshine, and while I would also be fine if I didn’t dance, I would not feel the same sense of joy that it gives me when I do,” she said.

Being an inspiration to many, Zhi’s life story was turned into a play entitled Angel’s Psalm that was staged at Kwai Tsing Theatre in 2015.

In an article by CCTGN, it was said that Liao is currently a happy wife as well as a proud mother. However, she is still fighting for a higher ambition – helping more people like her to recover their life value.

  • 2 min read