Stories

December 13, 2022

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This may have happened to you (maybe not the musical writing part), or you may know someone from an Asian background who is currently struggling as their parents had strongly expected or already had chosen a job for them.

But how many of you have bravely rejected your parents’ desires, and followed your true passion? Take it from this courageous girl, Joy Regullano. You might remember her from the viral YouTube sketch called White Fetish, or various random acting gigs like the TV Series Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (her line was “Yeah, bitch!”) or Modern Family (with her line was “You fools!”).

That’s right, Joy is quite too far from wearing a white coat. She’s an actress, comedian, and writer — every Asian parents’ nightmare. So when she told her parents that she didn’t want to be a doctor anymore, her father didn’t talk to her for 8 months. Years later, she wrote a comedy musical about it, called Supportive White Parents.

“Working on this musical has been a major part of my healing journey (my parents are imperfect people who were just passing down intergenerational trauma) and maybe it can be part of yours too,” Joy expresses.

Read through as Joy shares how she has discovered her passion for comedy, and her journey to healing and acceptance through her musical.

MY WHOLE LIFE, I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO BE A DOCTOR JUST LIKE MY PARENTS

My parents were born and raised in the Philippines. My dad grew up very poor in one of the provinces, but after scoring in the top percentage of all students across the country on an exam, he got a scholarship to a prestigious science high school in Manila that was all expenses paid. My parents met in medical school, and soon after graduating, they came to the US by way of New York. Eventually, they made their way across the country to Eagle Rock in LA and then Orange County, where I grew up. 

My whole life, I thought I was going to be a doctor just like my parents. I tried my best to be the perfect daughter. I got straight A’s and took piano lessons since I was 3 and violin lessons starting at 8. (Well, actually, I got one B+ in AP/IB Physics, but we don’t talk about that B+) I studied math outside of school at Kumon and played educational computer games because it was a productive use of my time. I read medical books my parents had lying around the house and had subscriptions to science magazines in high school, for fun.

But as I grew older, there was a part of me that was starting to love writing and making people laugh. For 7th-grade vocabulary exercises, I cared more about making my sentences funny than using the word right. My favorite part about English and Spanish group projects was writing the scripts and acting in them. I wrote bad high school poetry. But I didn’t think that was an acceptable thing to want to do with my life, so I shoved that part down, deep inside me. I did write for the school newspaper and compete in speech contests and debate teams, but that was about the extent of my (public) creative life. 

But as I grew older, there was a part of me that was starting to love writing and making people laugh.

-Joy Regullano

I LOVED FEELING LIKE I COULD MAKE THE AUDIENCE LAUGH AND CRY JUST BY TELLING AN HONEST STORY

I went to UC Berkeley pre-med and was planning to take over my dad’s clinic when he retired. But in the first semester of my freshman year, I got a B on my first math test and a C on my first chem test, and I panicked. After some soul-searching, I realized I wasn’t actually passionate about any of that and ended up cycling through a bunch of different majors before landing on Theater and Southeast Asian Studies.

I wrote a play in college about a friend who had passed away in high school, and when I put it up in front of an audience, I was hooked. I loved feeling like I could make the audience laugh and cry just by telling an honest story. Just by being myself. I wanted to do that for the rest of my life. I loved Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s work so much that I couldn’t even watch them for a long time because it hurt that I wasn’t doing what they were doing. 

WHITE PARENTS: A MUSICAL INSPIRED BY MY LIFE

I wrote the book and the lyrics to a comedy musical called “Supportive White Parents” about an Asian girl who tells her parents she doesn’t want to be a doctor anymore, and when they’re disappointed, she wishes on a shooting star for supportive white parents. Eventually, she learns to love her Filipino parents for who they are. My friends Sam Johnides and Tony Gonzalez wrote the music.

The musical was inspired by my life. When I told my parents I didn’t want to be a doctor like them and take over my dad’s clinic, my dad yelled at me, called me selfish, and didn’t talk to me for 8 months. I was absolutely devastated, even though I knew that making people laugh and cry was what I had been put on this earth to do. 

I felt so jealous of my white theater classmates with their seemingly endlessly supportive white parents. And funny enough, they were jealous of me because I had something called “discipline”, played multiple instruments, and knew other languages. And thus, the seed of a musical was born.

Eventually, she learns to love her Filipino parents for who they are.

-Joy Regullano

LAUGHING AT OURSELVES CAN BE ONE OF THE BEST WAYS TO HEAL

There aren’t many Asian American musicals, let alone comedy Asian American musicals. One of my teachers says that comedy is the back door to the truth. I think that laughing at ourselves can be one of the best ways to heal, as well as realizing that we are not alone. 

We as a generation are going through this together, and also, we, as well as our parents, are the products of society and intergenerational trauma. We are all imperfect people who are trying the best we can with the tools we have. 

ACCEPTANCE IS THE QUICKEST WAY TO SANITY AND PEACE

I love the serenity prayer. There are some things that we can change, and we should do what we can to change those things. There are some things we can’t change, and it’ll drive you crazy trying to. You can’t control other people. You can only control yourself. The sooner you can accept other people are how they are, the sooner you’ll stop giving your energy away. 

Also, one thing I learned that blew my mind is that it’s actually not love, to wish that your parents or family were different than who they are. If what I was asking from them was to love me for exactly who I am, with all my imperfections, isn’t that what I should be giving them too? Unconditional love and acceptance? (That’s not to say that you shouldn’t have boundaries – that could be a whole other article.) But accepting things you can’t change is the quickest way to sanity and peace. 

If what I was asking from them was to love me for exactly who I am, with all my imperfections, isn’t that what I should be giving them too?

-Joy Regullano

It’s a daily practice. But try it! After reading “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck”, I tried to imagine that I only had one f– to give a day. How much energy would I be saving by only getting bent out of shape over the most important things!? I’m not really good at giving only one f– a day. But I’ll keep trying.

One more thing – some people need to be angry before they move to acceptance. I know I did, and I still feel angry sometimes. Accepting yourself and your feelings is part of the process too. Wherever you are in your journey is okay.

CONNECT WITH JOY

Instagram: @supportivewhiteparents @joyregullano

Twitter: @swpmusical @joyregullano

Website: www.supportivewhiteparents.com

Be on the lookout for the upcoming Supportive White Parent concept album, to be released in January 2023, with singles leading up to it! 

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An Tran Turned a Receptionist Job Into a 25-Year Journey to Executive Leadership in Banking

When you first meet her, you feel her warmth—grounded, welcoming, and full of passion. With over 25 years in the banking industry, An Tran, Market Executive at Banc of California, has become known not only for her distinctive leadership but also for the deep care she gives to her family—and for her dedication as a passionate skincare and self-care advocate.

Yet behind these roles lies a journey marked by resilience—a story not only of her own, but of many Vietnamese immigrants who navigated life in a new country with hope for a brighter future and the American dream.

An Tran | SVP Market Executive at Banc of California
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A Humble Beginning, A Lifelong Commitment

Banking wasn’t part of her plan at the start of her career. In fact, her first job was as a receptionist at a bank in San Francisco. But she didn’t let that humble beginning define her. Fueled by passion, relentless effort, and the sense of responsibility that came from being the eldest of eight children, she turned what she lacked in experience into unstoppable drive.

“My professional life has always revolved around service and sales, with a natural inclination to care for others, perhaps stemming from my role as the eldest of eight,” she says. 

Over the years, she took every opportunity whenever she could to learn, grow, and serve her clients better. Her work ethic and trust-building skills propelled her forward, step by step, until she eventually became the Market Executive for Banc of California—a role she holds today with pride and purpose.

A Journey Rooted in Sacrifice and Survival

By her own admission, she doesn’t have any news-breaking stories. She is simply a daughter born to Vietnamese immigrants who came to America during the 1970s and ’80s. Yet it was her generation that first began to rise out of poverty, despite arriving in the U.S. with nothing in hand. “Through relentless hard work, we’ve not only achieved the American dream but also built the lives our parents envisioned for us when they first arrived,” she reflects.

Her family’s story, like so many others, is one of hope and sacrifice. And through years of determination and resilience, she has proven the grit and strength of her community—successfully building the life her parents once dreamed of when they left Vietnam.

An Tran has successfully built what her parents imagined for their children in the US. 
An Tran has successfully built what her parents imagined for their children in the US. 

Facing Challenges with Grace and Grit 

Climbing the banking ladder over the past 25 years was no easy feat for a young woman like An. She faced unique hurdles—from skepticism to subtle sexism in the workplace.

But instead of letting those experiences hold her back, she used them as fuel to move forward.

“Every challenge throughout my life and career has been a positive force, shaping me into the person I am today,” she shares. “These experiences pushed me to find new ways to grow and overcome adversity. I believe challenges are essential for growth—without them, we can’t truly learn. Remaining a lifelong student, absorbing both small and significant lessons daily, is key. The moment you stop learning is the moment you stop achieving.”

An Tran has faced criticism with grace and determination, climbing the banking ladder step by step.
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Empowering the Asian Community, One Role Model at a Time

From receptionist to executive, her journey is a remarkable one. But for her, the real achievements aren’t just titles—they’re the impact she’s had on others and the example she’s set for her children, her colleagues, and her community.

“I’m incredibly grateful to be where I am today, creating the life I envisioned and providing for my family in a way my parents dreamed of when we left Vietnam. My pride extends to every step of this remarkable path,” she says. 

She’s living proof. A former refugee who arrived in America with nothing is now leading in one of the most competitive industries in the country—and doing so with compassion, integrity, and purpose.

Connect With An Na Tran 

“My goal is to be a resource for the Asian community, showing that we are strong, career-driven, and incredibly successful.”

LinkedIn: An Na T.

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From Code to Culture: How Hải Bùi Left Tech to Build a Brand for Second Generation Asians

Embracing Heritage Through Style

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For Hải, Kỳ Lân isn’t just about clothing. It’s about rewriting the narrative for second-generation Asians and bringing Asian representation to the forefront of mainstream sports- and streetwear. 

Kỳ Lân’s mission is to help second-gens embrace their Asian heritage through clothing

The Meaning Behind Kỳ Lân: A Symbol of Heritage and Unity

Kỳ Lân is a mythical creature from Asian folklore, often described as having the head of a dragon, the body of a horse, and the tail of a lion. It symbolizes peace, prosperity, and good fortune. Versions of the Kỳ Lân appear in Vietnamese, Chinese (Qilin), Japanese (Kirin), Korean (Girin), and Thai (Kilen) cultures, highlighting the deep cultural connections shared across Asia.

Hải chose this name to honor that shared heritage. As part of his efforts to reconnect with his roots, he began volunteering in the Vietnamese community and eventually became the organizer of a 6,000-member Asian Meetup and Discord group. This community centered around 1.5-generation and second-generation Asians, those who either immigrated as kids or were born abroad to immigrant parents. Together, they explored questions of identity, belonging, and the desire to reconnect. These conversations sparked the idea for Kỳ Lân: a brand that celebrates Asian aesthetics but, more importantly, gives voice to the in-between experience many second-generation live daily.

Kỳ Lân is more than just a clothing brand, it’s a tribute to these stories and a movement towards proudly reclaiming culture.

Hải volunteering in his local Vietnamese community

The Origin Story: From Hungary to the U.S. and Back to His Roots

Growing up in Hungary in the 1990s, often as the only Asian kid in school, Hải vividly remembers the bullying, the stares, and the relentless pressure to fit in. Like many second generation Asians, he spent much of his youth trying to blend in, often distancing himself from his Vietnamese roots just to feel accepted.

It wasn’t until years later, after moving to the U.S., that everything shifted. For the first time, Hải saw second-generation Asians unapologetically taking up space, celebrating their identities through art, food, fashion, and film. Vietnamese cafés were opening everywhere, Asian artists topped the charts, and streetwear inspired by Asian heritage became more mainstream. Gradually, pride replaced shame.

He became proud to be Asian, and curiosity toward his culture blossomed.

Hải, his little brother and his mom in Budapest

His parents’ story deeply influenced him, too. They immigrated to Soviet-era Hungary on scholarships and chose entrepreneurship over low-paying engineering jobs after graduation. Their hard work and resourcefulness deeply shaped Hải’s values, even though they initially encouraged him to take a safer path.

That growing sense of cultural pride deepened during a visit to Vietnam, where Hải saw relatives and locals running small storefronts straight from their homes. Every corner was buzzing with hustle. “That’s when it clicked,” he says. “Entrepreneurship is ingrained in our DNA. No wonder I felt this constant pull to build something of my own.” 

From Software Engineer to Fashionpreneur: Finding Purpose

For Hải, the realization that entrepreneurship was in his blood didn’t make the decision to quit his job any easier. Like many children of Asian immigrants, he grew up with a very clear definition of success which included stability, a good education and a respectable job. And he achieved exactly this: a successful career in software engineering, after decades of hard work and sacrifice from his parents, who had moved to Hungary in search of a better future.

For a while, he was unsure whether to commit to building a business or return to the comfort of a tech job. However, the dread he felt preparing for software interviews made it clear that he had to make some kind of business idea work, no matter what.

Like so many second-generation Asians, Hải carried an unspoken responsibility to make his parents’ struggles worth it, to succeed and stay on the path they paved.

Eventually, the pull toward his purpose was stronger than the fear of failure.

In a twist of fate, Hải is following in his parents’ footsteps. After immigrating to a foreign country and getting a degree in Engineering, he decided to leave it all behind and pursue Entrepreneurship.

Hải’s parents threw away their Engineering degree to open their heavy metal t-shirt business back in the ‘90s.

The Birth of Kỳ Lân: A Perfect Fit 

Inspired by his parents’ own clothing business selling heavy metal t-shirts at marketplaces, Hải worried initially that they might disapprove of him following a similar path. Instead, they became his biggest supporters once they saw his dedication.

While it might seem like a waste to throw away his engineering career, Hải’s background turned out to be a great asset in building Kỳ Lân. His time at Amazon Ads taught him how to run effective digital campaigns, his logistics experience at Convoy helped him navigate supply chains, and his coding skills meant he could build his own websites without outsourcing. Even his parents’ experience running a clothing business became unexpectedly useful. 

Looking at it all together, it started to make sense. This wasn’t him starting from scratch, it was him finally using all of his skills in one place.

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