21-Year Old Who Had Motor Skill Challenges Breaks Record as World’s Fastest Rubik’s Cube Solver
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July 3, 2023
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Max Park, a 21-year-old Korean-American from Cerritos, California who lacked fine motor skills, as a symptom of his autism, emerged as the world’s fastest Rubik’s cube solver, setting a new world record of solving the cube in just 3.13 seconds.
According to NPR, Max faced motor skill difficulties during his preteen years as a result of autism, making even simple tasks like unscrewing a water bottle cap a challenge for him. Now, Max can solve a Rubik’s cube faster than most people can read a sentence.
During a recent competition in Southern California on June 11th, Max astounded the speedcubing community by setting a new world record for the fastest 3x3x3 Rubik’s cube time, clocking in at a mind-boggling 3.13 seconds. Matthew Dickman, the senior delegate for the United States and Canada at the World Cube Association, described Max’s achievement as the “holy grail of records.”
Max’s journey began at the age of 9 when he developed an interest in the Rubik’s cube. His mother, Miki, took the initiative to learn how to solve it herself through YouTube tutorials. Within a mere couple of days, Max solved the puzzle effortlessly. This newfound passion for cubing led him to participate in his first speedcube competition in downtown Los Angeles at the age of 10.
Image Source: Guinness World Record
The popularity of speedcubing has surged in recent years, with over a dozen competitions held worldwide each weekend and a registered base of over 140,000 cubers from 140 countries. These events encompass various challenges, ranging from blindfolded solves to one-handed techniques.
However, the original 3x3x3 cube remains the centerpiece of the sport, attracting the most skilled competitors who have mastered hundreds of algorithms to conquer the puzzle. The speedcubing scene has become increasingly competitive, with participants continually pushing the limits, often beating their rivals by mere fractions of a second.
Schwan, Max’s father, said that his success gives a sense of hope for the parents too, that their child can find something they’re passionate about and it will help give them a sense of purpose.
As Max continues to break barriers, his impact extends far beyond solving a puzzle. His achievements serve as a symbol of determination, resilience, and the boundless potential that lies within each of us.
Canh-Vinh Nguyen is an embodiment of what it means to lead a purpose-driven life.
Canh-Vinh’s passion for serving her community and promoting human equity is truly inspiring. Her tireless dedication to making a positive impact on the lives of others has earned her the title of Miss World Australia’s 2023 state finalist.
At the age of 18, Canh-Vinh laid the foundation for her community service by establishing a charity called “Canh-Vinh and You Incorporated”. What started as a small initiative has since grown into an impactful organization that continues to make a difference in people’s lives. Her charity work was only the beginning of her efforts to serve her community.
Over the years, she has also served as a consumer advisor for the local health system, volunteering as social support in the emergency department, rehabilitation, and short-stay ward at the local hospital.
Canh-Vinh’s story is an inspiration to people of all ages and backgrounds, and serves as a reminder that we all have the power to make a difference in the world, no matter how small our actions may seem.
“I am genuinely excited to share my journey, my passion, and my unwavering dedication with others, spreading the message that “anything is possible” and hopefully making some meaningful connections. Together, let us create a world that embraces inclusivity and compassion,” Canh-Vinh told AHN.
CANH-VINH’S EXPERIENCES AND ACHIEVEMENTS
As an Australian Vietnamese, I am proud of my heritage and forever grateful for the opportunities this country has provided not only to my family but to many others as well.
Being the first person in my family to attend university, I am a woman in STEM, with a bachelor’s degree in biomedicine, achieving first-class honors, and a completed Master’s of Research focused on metastatic cancers, my ultimate goal is to become a physician. I strongly believe that everyone deserves to understand and feel empowered in managing their health while having access to the best possible care. This pursuit is fueled by my gratitude for the incredible healthcare system we have in Australia, as it saved my mother’s life and protected us from the hardships faced by others if we were anywhere else in the world.
Throughout my educational journey, I have remained dedicated to serving the community. Moreover, I am deeply committed to inspiring young individuals to give forward and recognize their potential to create significant change, particularly in this challenging world and specially for the less fortunate. Alongside our charity projects, volunteering for my local community has been a transformative experience in my life. It has sustained me on my toughest days, knowing that my actions can bring something positive to the world.
In addition to my academic pursuits and charitable work, I actively volunteer and contribute as a consumer advisor for Western Health, the fastest-growing health provider managing both large and small public hospitals in my local community. Through this role, I have been involved in significant projects such as the opening of the Joan Kirner Hospital, the planning and review of the New Footscray Hospital Project, and the initiation of the planning for the New Melton Hospital.
Furthermore, I proudly serve as Vice President of the Lions Club of Sunshine, a local community club that engages in various initiatives. These include fundraising through sausage ‘snag’ sales, preventing neighborhood crimes by installing anti-theft screws for number plates, supporting farmers affected by floods through tree planting initiatives, and providing aid to Polynesian island countries like Samoa by sending containers with essential goods for hospitals, schools, clothing, and toys.
CANH-VINH AND YOU INCORPORATED
My vision is to create a more equitable world by sharing the privileges I have received in life, even though my efforts may not be as significant as others’. I believe that gratitude is my greatest strength, and I possess the ability to connect with others and bring them together.
This mindset has guided me since founding our Australian registered charity, “Canh-Vinh and You Incorporated” at the age of eighteen, driven by the belief that every moment counts and embracing the philosophy of “live as if you’ll die tomorrow.” However, achieving this dream did not happen overnight. It was a culmination of multiple events and the support of other members, mentors, and supporters.
From a young age, I witnessed the philanthropic work of my parents in Vietnam, where they set aside savings to provide rice for their former village. During high school, I had the privilege of attending an all-girls Brigidine high school with a strong emphasis on justice and fundraising clubs. This experience was transformative as it allowed me to discover my leadership potential and taught me how to represent others and manage projects.
After graduating, I desired to continue volunteering with friends, but it was challenging to garner interest. However, by identifying the limitations of existing projects and the creativity constraints felt by my friends, the idea of starting our own charity sparked. Overcoming initial challenges and skepticism, we persevered and successfully registered the charity, obtaining the necessary tax exemption and gift receipts with the assistance of a free legal aid service. The journey was far from easy, filled with late nights, setbacks, discouragement, and tears. However, when I shifted my perspective and found empowerment in realizing that the criticism and doubt from others were projections of their own limitations, not reflective of our potential it made all the difference.
Today, almost a decade later, I am proud to say that our charity is still entirely volunteer-run. Although time constraints and periodic dormancy pose challenges, we remain highly efficient, utilizing every dollar fundraised and profit for our charity projects. We strive to be a trusted point of contact for individuals seeking to contribute and provide assistance. Over the years, we have helped tens of thousands of families through our projects, including donations of rice, noodles, condiments, funding eye surgeries, scholarships, and more.
Our focus is on supporting lonely and homeless elderly individuals, people with disabilities, those affected by Agent Orange, and orphans. Above all, we aim to instill compassion in everyone who crosses our path, whether through attending an event, volunteering or engaging with us. We understand that life can become busy, and even if someone’s involvement with our charity is brief, we hope that the seed of compassion we plant will one day blossom into something amazing.
MISS WORLD AUSTRALIA
Being a state finalist for Miss World Australia has granted me increased visibility and recognition, enabling me to forge valuable collaborations, partnerships, and connections with like-minded individuals and organizations who share similar aspirations. My primary goal is to inspire younger generations to fearlessly pursue their passions and make a positive impact in their communities. This objective is deeply significant to me as I firmly believe that the way we inspire and guide the younger generation today will shape our future and the destiny of our world.
A core aspect of my advocacy revolves around promoting the importance of volunteerism and dispelling the misconception that it is a fading practice. Countless individuals in our world require assistance without expecting anything in return. It is particularly challenging for those who face disadvantages and lack the same privileges and opportunities as others. By acknowledging our blessings, gratitude becomes a compelling force that propels us forward, fostering a sense of purpose and empathy.
Through my voice and influence, I am dedicated to empowering and uplifting others, urging them to join causes, create meaningful change, and embrace a sense of belonging to something greater than themselves. A quote that I love by Dr. Brené Brown beautifully encapsulates this sentiment: “Belonging is being part of something bigger than yourself. But it’s also the courage to stand alone and to belong to yourself above all else.” It highlights the importance of both finding connection and staying true to oneself in the pursuit of making a difference.
Moreover, my increased visibility and recognition have provided an invaluable opportunity to raise awareness for the charity I founded nearly a decade ago. Our organization operates solely through the selfless efforts of volunteers, ensuring that every donation directly benefits those in need. It brings me immense pride and joy to know that the hard-earned contributions from our supporters have a meaningful impact on the lives of the less fortunate.
WHAT KEEPS CANH-VINH MOTIVATED
In times of adversity, it has been gratitude that helped me shift my perspective and find the silver linings.
I have come to realize what fuels me is not just self-belief and confidence but it is gratitude, a powerful driving force that propels me forward. It is being grateful for the privileges I have had in this life that has motivated me to work harder each day to be of service to others. Instead of dwelling on what I lacked or the challenges I faced, I focused on the progress I had already made and teachers’ and mentors’ willingness to invest their time and energy in my growth. This shift in mindset allowed me to tap into my resilience and find the courage to persevere.
Moreover, gratitude fueled my passion for making a difference in the lives of others. Recognizing the privileges and opportunities I have been given, I felt a deep sense of responsibility to give back and contribute to the well-being of those less fortunate. It motivated me to use my skills, knowledge, and resources to uplift others, whether through volunteering, mentoring, or advocating for meaningful causes.
IMPORTANCE OF HAVING A SENSE OF PURPOSE ACCORDING TO CANH-VINH
In my opinion, a sense of purpose is not only highly important but also deeply transformative. It serves as a driving force that provides motivation, meaning, resilience, and a sense of fulfillment in life. When we have a clear sense of purpose, it guides our actions, shapes our identity, and gives us a profound understanding of the “why” behind our existence.
During moments of doubt or uncertainty, our sense of purpose acts as a beacon of light, lifting us up and reminding us of our intrinsic value and the impact we can have on the world. It serves as a powerful source of inspiration, urging us to persevere, overcome obstacles, and continue striving toward our goals.
While it is true that nothing in this material world can be held onto forever, cultivating a sense of purpose allows us to transcend the temporary nature of our existence. It enables us to focus on the legacy we can leave behind and the positive contributions we can make. Embracing the law of impermanence, which teaches us that everything has a beginning, middle, and ending, encourages us to make the most of the time we have on this earth. By nurturing a sense of purpose and using our time, talents, and resources to create a positive ripple effect, we can make a difference that extends far beyond our own lifetime. I think this is where true fulfillment resides – in knowing that our actions have the potential to touch the lives of others and contribute to a more compassionate, harmonious, and interconnected world.
THE IMPACT SHE HOPES TO ACHIEVE
One of the primary goals of my work is to inspire others to take action against injustices. I firmly believe that everyone has the power to create change, and even small contributions can make a significant difference. Like many others, I am an ordinary individual without inherent power or influence, but I refuse to let that discourage or underestimate me. While volunteering may not be a difficult task in itself, what makes it truly noble is people who choose to spend their time doing something for others knowing it cannot be returned. My father once shared a valuable lesson with me: “When you help someone in need, they may someday be the ones to extend a helping hand to others.” The idea that I could become a ripple, contributing to the larger wave of positive action and lasting impact, fills me with a lot of happiness.
I guess, ultimately, I hope that in some way, my actions and words can ignite a spark within others, leading them to accomplish even greater things.
ADVICE FOR YOUNGER PEOPLE IN MAKING A DIFFERENCE
My advice would be to begin your journey by starting locally. Take the time to explore the issues or causes that deeply resonate with you and make you feel passionate. Educate yourself on the topic, gaining a deeper understanding of the challenges and potential solutions.
Next, reflect on your unique skills, talents, and interests. Consider how you can apply these strengths to make a meaningful difference in your community. It could be as simple as offering a helping hand to your neighbors, volunteering at a local community organization, supporting a youth group, or assisting at a hospital. Remember that you don’t always need to have pre-existing skills; the most important thing is to take the initiative and show up! The rest will follow as you learn and grow along the way.
It’s important to have an open mindset and embrace the possibility of trial and error. There may be times when you join an organization or group that doesn’t align perfectly with your vision or passion. Don’t let this discourage you. Keep persevering and believe that there is a place out there that shares your passion and works towards the same goals. Trust that with dedication and an open heart, you will find a meaningful avenue to contribute to your community. And most importantly, enjoy the journey and have fun while making a difference!
Having experienced homelessness himself, Alex Nguyen knows firsthand how challenging it can be to not have even the basic essentials.
Growing up as a first-generation Vietnamese child, raised by a single mother who had him at a young age, Alex faced many challenges that most of us can’t even imagine. But instead of letting his difficult past define him, he decided to take action. This is what inspired him to start Project Peace Clothing.
Alex admits that he has dealt with some trauma and mental health issues growing up, and for this he decided to undergo a three-and-a-half-year therapy. Now, Alex is a mental health nurse, slowly working towards his psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner degree. He’s passionate about helping people who struggle with mental health issues, especially those in the addiction population and the homeless community.
Through his clothing line, Alex is not only advocating for mental wellness and women’s empowerment, but he’s also helping the homeless community. For every purchase from Project Peace Clothing, Alex gives another homeless person not just the basic survival needs like food and water, but also a piece of clothing to help keep them warm on cold nights.
Alex’s past has made him more compassionate and empathetic towards homeless people, and he’s using his experiences to make a positive impact on the world. He believes that intentional acts of kindness, even if unnoticed, can cause a ripple effect that touches the lives of many.
Join us as we take a closer look at the inspiring story of Alex Nguyen and his mission to spread peace, love, and kindness through Project Peace Clothing.
MOVING FROM PLACES TO PLACES
Alex’s mother was only 17 years old when she became pregnant with him by his father, who fled the country when Alex was just one year old. Growing up was challenging for both Alex and his mother, as they never had a stable place to live. They frequently moved from place to place because the rent was difficult to pay, and there were times they slept in their car or rented a motel day by day. While his mother was at work, Alex was often left with other relatives, and she eventually dropped out of college to support him.
During his college years, Alex continued to face challenges. He lived in a garage at a friend’s house for several years and worked two jobs while studying. He even had to carpool with two friends because he didn’t have a car, and he didn’t have any support besides himself. Despite all of this, he persevered and graduated in 2017, hoping that his life would finally turn for the better.
A SENSE OF FULFILLMENT AND HAPPINESS
Growing up in an unstable household without a parental figure to guide him, Alex learned everything on his own and developed a survival mentality. He made friends and reached out to distant relatives for support, and started working at a young age to make ends meet. For a long time, he believed that money was the solution to all his problems.
After graduating and becoming a nurse in 2018, Alex began working over 60 hours a week. It was also around this time that he realized he was suffering from mental illness. He had been independent for so long that he didn’t realize the toll it had taken on his mental health.
By 2021, Alex was working three jobs and neglecting his physical and mental health. One day, while at work, he permanently damaged his lower back when he tried to catch a falling patient.
He was forced to leave two of his three jobs and had time to reflect on his life. It was during this period that he realized that caring for others, particularly those suffering from mental illness, gave him a sense of fulfillment and happiness. He realized that money did not bring him happiness.
Alex started transitioning to become a mental health nurse and is now pursuing a degree as a Psychiatric Mental Health NP. He finds peace and happiness in helping those in need and believes that this is his true calling in life.
PROJECT PEACE CLOTHING
Alex’s own experiences with homelessness growing up inspired him to start Project Peace Clothing. He remembers the freezing nights sleeping in his car and can empathize with those who are currently experiencing homelessness. He believes that his ability to put himself in other people’s shoes and feel their suffering comes from having experienced similar hardships himself. Alex cares deeply for those without housing and acknowledges that many people struggle to empathize with the homeless due to stereotypes and misconceptions.
While working as a nurse, Alex would create care packages for those without housing, which he would distribute during the day or at night. He would buy supplies from Costco and Walmart, put them together in bags, and leave a few in his car to hand out when he saw someone in need. However, he wanted to do more than just provide care packages. He wanted to provide clothes and warmth to those who need them, particularly at night when the temperatures drop.
This desire to make a bigger impact led Alex to start Project Peace Clothing. Through this initiative, he hopes to provide warmth and comfort to the homeless community by distributing blankets, jackets, hats, and other clothing items. Alex’s firsthand experience with homelessness has taught him the importance of basic necessities such as warm clothing, and he is passionate about helping those in need.
The Empower Women collection was inspired by Alex’s girlfriend of 10 years. “I wouldn’t be here today without her,” he said. This collection aims to promote positive messages that make women feel good and valued.”
THAT WAS PEACE
Project Peace Clothing has had a significant impact on the community so far, despite its small scale. As a nurse and student, Alex dedicates his time to helping people both at work and outside of work.
Alex also shares a heartwarming story about a recent encounter he had while ordering one of his favorite desserts called che, a Vietnamese dessert:
“I saw a young homeless Asian pacing back and forth in front of the shop. He reminded me of myself, and something deep inside me wanted to talk to him. I asked him, “Hey, are you hungry? Do you want anything?” He responded that he wished to have the Che 3 Mau, but here at the Hien Khanh, there are a few options, so I got all of the possibilities with some extra savory food for him to share with others.
As I gave him the food, I remember he told me, “How’s your day?” I responded, “It’s good, thank you.” I walked back to my girlfriend, and when I was about to reverse, I saw him in my mirror, looking up into the sky after sipping the dessert drink. To me, that was peace.”
ADVICE ON MAKING A POSITIVE IMPACT IN THE COMMUNITY
When asked for advice on how to make a positive impact on one’s community, Alex recommends following one’s passion and seeking to understand the specific community or population one wishes to help. This may involve volunteering and actively engaging with members of the community. Alex stresses the importance of being open-minded and actively listening, with the intention to both attend and talk. He believes that this approach can be life-changing and can make a meaningful difference in the lives of others.
Jilly Bing was founded by first-generation Chinese-American Elenor Mak. She believes that toys play an essential role in helping children make sense of the world, with dolls serving as tools to build self-esteem and self-acceptance. Her vision for Jilly Bing is to create a line of dolls and toys that authentically represent Asian-American children, nurturing a deeper appreciation of Asian culture.
In this latest installment about Jilly Bing, we’ll revisit its journey with Elenor, showcasing the notable achievements and recent updates that have propelled the company even further in its mission to redefine the world of children’s toys.
Highlights on Jilly Bing’s Journey:
1. Launch Event with Chef Kathy Fang: This past summer, we hosted a launch event in S.F. with Chef Kathy Fang to celebrate the debut of our Jilly Bing doll. We wanted to bring the community together to celebrate. Witnessing the delighted reactions of children who received the doll, exclaiming ‘looks like me’ and ‘has soft black hair like mine,’ confirmed that we were on the right path.
2. Nationwide Sell-Out: Within weeks of shipping our first dolls nationwide, we sold out. I’m proud to say I transformed my basement into a doll packing hub, experiencing firsthand the ‘art’ of doll packing.
3. Increased Interest in Dolls for All Ages: A doll is not just a passing toy – it’s a child’s first friend. The recent Barbie movie renewed interest in dolls for adults and underscored the importance of increasing representation for Asian American children. Sharing our journey on national TV, such as the Today show, has sparked interest from families nationwide who, even without Asian children, want dolls that resemble their friends.
Customer Reactions to Jilly Dolls:
Our team has been deeply moved by the incredible responses from both children and adults! It fills our hearts with pride to witness the sheer joy on the faces of children, both girls and boys, as they receive our dolls. Their delighted exclamations, such as “She looks like me!” and “Mama, she looks like you,” warm our hearts.
The stories we hear about how these dolls become inseparable companions for these kids, accompanying them on shopping adventures, sharing sleepovers (shoes off, of course), and even joining them for a hot pot meal, are simply heartwarming. But it’s not only children who celebrate these dolls; adult women have shared, time and time again, that this is the doll they had always wished for during their own childhood.
One customer, who discovered us through a mom’s group, shared this touching reflection: “I grew up gazing at all the Barbies and dolls in stores, and none of them looked like me. It left me with a lingering feeling that something was wrong with me, always making me wish for blonde hair and big, round blue eyes. Now, at 44 years old, this doll has rekindled the sense of how special and proud I would have felt to have seen a doll that truly resembled me.”
What’s next for Jilly Bing?
Jilly doll is just the beginning. Our goal is to expand the dolls to create a “cast of lovable Asian American characters” whose identities go beyond just East Asian to fully represent the nuanced identities of all Asian Americans. My vision is to create a “modern-day educational Hello Kitty” with Jilly Bing. I want all children to know they belong and that they are beautiful as they are.
Connect with Jilly Bing:
We’re thrilled to be back in stock! Join us in making Jilly a beloved friend in every home this holiday season and shaping a more inclusive world for our children.
Postpartum care is a critical period for new mothers, yet it is often overlooked in our society.
Many women struggle with physical and emotional changes after giving birth, and the lack of support and attention to their needs can lead to postpartum depression and other health issues. This is why Dr. Kristal Lau’s book on postpartum care is a crucial addition to the conversation.
When Kristal joined the AHN community two years ago, she was still pivoting out of her medical career. She shared that her mom has been encouraging her to pursue her idea of writing a book on Malaysian Chinese postpartum confinement practices and include notes from her medical background.
During her confinement month after birthing her first child, Kristal compromised with her mother to modernize some of the confinement practices by medical logic. With a balance of traditional Chinese and modern postpartum care, her book provides a comprehensive guide for modern moms to take care of themselves during this important time while feeling connected to their Chinese roots.
In this article, we will dive into Kristal’s journey as an author. We will also explore why postpartum care should be a mainstream topic and why it is important to prioritize the health and well-being of new mothers.
BECOMING A MOTHER OF TWO
I practiced medicine in Australia as a Basic Physician Trainee before moving to the USA and would’ve chosen to specialize in geriatrics medicine if I hadn’t met my husband.
Ironically, I’ve chosen to work in the perinatal world now, because I used to actively avoid seeing pregnant women patients when I was a junior doctor. I felt intimidated by the responsibility of two lives and potentially more if the patient already had children.
Becoming a mother of 2 while facing the challenges of a modern immigrant from South East Asia to the West (and being a US military spouse) opened my eyes to the importance of postpartum care in setting mothers up to thrive in the postpartum year and beyond. Especially when I was planning for my first confinement practice and had to adapt things to where we were living in rural Alabama. From this experience, I decided that contributing to a small part of the perinatal industry was fitting.
POSTPARTUM 30: THIRTY DAYS TO A NURTURED FOURTH TRIMESTER
The core message of my book entitled “Postpartum 30: Thirty Days to a Nurtured Fourth Trimester” is about preserving a traditional and cultural practice so that it remains relevant to current and future generations. Otherwise, we’d forget!
So, the key components of my book showcase the best of both worlds. I discuss postpartum physiology (what we know today about how the birthing body recovers after birth) and basic Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) principles around the postpartum body.
I have chapters dedicated to adapting confinement practices to fit a modern mom and her family’s needs and lifestyle. I also guide readers on how to respectfully tell their mothers or mothers-in-law that they’d like to practice a modern version of confinement and include them in the picture.
MODERN MOMS WITH CHINESE ROOTS CAN EASILY BENEFIT FROM THIS BOOK
Firstly, it’s written in English! Readers don’t have to know any Mandarin or Chinese dialects (just like me!) to understand the TCM and confinement concepts I discuss in the book.
Secondly, I include historical references about the confinement practice and discuss why certain practices made sense to our ancestors. Finally, I challenge two aspects of the traditional confinement practice head-on. I encourage readers to embrace all the emotions that come with the chaos of the postpartum period instead of pushing them away. And I encourage spouses and partners to be the main confinement support person rather than another family member.
PUBLISHING MY BOOK HAS BEEN VERY SURREAL
I fully invested in writing this book after the overwhelming support from Asian Hustle Network group members when this book was just an idea. I also appreciated the nuances brought up by the AHN members in that defining post which added more to developing my book’s content. My first beta readers were also from the AHN community!
I’ve always wanted to be an author ever since I was a teen, so I can’t believe that I’ve done it! The book has also allowed me to represent a small part of Malaysian and Chinese culture to the world. Plus, it’s my biggest ticket away from medicine and into carving out an unconventional career that works for me!
Making time to write my book was the biggest challenge because I got pregnant with my second baby just after starting a 6-month book coaching program to develop my book. I’ve also been living in Germany since 2020 due to my husband being stationed here at a military base. So, I was writing on and off throughout my pregnancy and postpartum year while juggling our newborn, toddler, deployments, 2 dogs, and trying to thrive in a foreign country. The next biggest challenge was believing in myself, and that I have what it takes to write on this topic.
BALANCE AND EVOLUTION FOR POSTPARTUM CARE
To balance traditional Chinese practices of postpartum care with modern medical logic, I drew from my professional background as a medical doctor and a public health graduate, and my personal background as a Malaysian who grew up with both TCM and modern medicine. I also consulted with my medical peers and a TCM doctor (a connection I made through AHN too!) about how postpartum care from the East and West can meet in the middle.
An example of this balance is compromising on the hair-washing practice. Personal hygiene is a big part of the confinement practice. The strict traditional way is no hair washing for the entire confinement month. A modern compromise is to not wash the hair for the first 2 weeks and once you start washing your hair, make sure to dry it completely while in the warm bathroom before stepping out into a more chilly environment.
As more attention is given to the concept of matrescence, the transition a woman goes through to become a mother, it’s important to recognize the need for nurturing and support during this time.
Physical therapy should be a standard part of postpartum care, as many women suffer from pelvic floor and back pain issues after giving birth. Unfortunately, too many women are told that these issues are “normal” and should be lived with. Pain and discomfort should not be considered normal, and pelvic floor rehabilitation should be a global standard of care for all new mothers, rather than being limited to a few countries or requiring out-of-pocket expenses. The rest of us have to learn how to ask for pelvic floor rehabilitation referrals and likely pay out of pocket for it.
CARING FOR NEW MOTHERS
Two big areas where family members can help a new mother in the postpartum period are to help her feel seen and alleviate her mental load.
Unfortunately, new mothers frequently fade into the background as the newborn baby takes the spotlight. So, holding space for the new mother to grow into her new identity and showering her with attention reminds her that she’s still her own person and that she’s equally important as the baby!
Women and mothers are also commonly the main household manager in many families who do all the planning, troubleshooting, and preempting of troubles. This is the mental load of women and mothers. Alleviating this during the postpartum period isn’t just asking her what help she needs, it’s becoming the Project Manager at home while she recovers.
Asking her what she needs still requires her to plan and troubleshoot, and that doesn’t help lighten her mental load when she needs all the energy to recover from birth and care for the newborn.
MODERN MOTHERS HAVE DIFFERENT NEEDS THAN THE GENERATIONS BEFORE
First, society needs to accept that this generation and the upcoming generation of modern mothers have very different needs and challenges compared to the generation before us and not shame us for it.
For example, many women in my generation (especially us Millennials in developing countries like Malaysia) have been conditioned to “do-it-all” i.e. excel at our careers and in being a mother. It’s ingrained in us to “mother like we didn’t have jobs and achieve in our career like we didn’t have children”. Why do moms today carry this burden? It’s likely because we were exposed to conflicting messages about womanhood and motherhood while growing up. We were empowered to be anything we wanted and that we could achieve anything we put our minds and hard work to i.e. embrace the modern woman identity. Yet, we’re still pressured to marry before 30 and start having kids while constantly reminded, “Don’t waste your education by becoming a stay-at-home mom!”. Balancing the identities of an empowered modern woman with the traditional (and biological) roles within motherhood is a unique challenge for many moms of our generation.
So, only when society is willing to empathize with this struggle, then they can provide the social, emotional, and mental support to help modern moms thrive as they go through matrescence.
My book normalizes the notion of nurturing mothers from the beginning of their motherhood journey; the postpartum year. I encourage mothers to prioritize themselves and not feel completely guilty about it. And to get comfortable with asking for help and accepting help before things get too overwhelming. It’s nice to be recognized as a SuperMom but it’s also nice to not have to live up to that image.
