Her Father Ignored Her For 8 Months When She No Longer Wanted To Be A Doctor - AHN Media Group

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December 13, 2022

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This may have happened to you (maybe not the musical writing part), or you may know someone from an Asian background who is currently struggling as their parents had strongly expected or already had chosen a job for them.

But how many of you have bravely rejected your parents’ desires, and followed your true passion? Take it from this courageous girl, Joy Regullano. You might remember her from the viral YouTube sketch called White Fetish, or various random acting gigs like the TV Series Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (her line was “Yeah, bitch!”) or Modern Family (with her line was “You fools!”).

That’s right, Joy is quite too far from wearing a white coat. She’s an actress, comedian, and writer — every Asian parents’ nightmare. So when she told her parents that she didn’t want to be a doctor anymore, her father didn’t talk to her for 8 months. Years later, she wrote a comedy musical about it, called Supportive White Parents.

“Working on this musical has been a major part of my healing journey (my parents are imperfect people who were just passing down intergenerational trauma) and maybe it can be part of yours too,” Joy expresses.

Read through as Joy shares how she has discovered her passion for comedy, and her journey to healing and acceptance through her musical.

MY WHOLE LIFE, I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO BE A DOCTOR JUST LIKE MY PARENTS

My parents were born and raised in the Philippines. My dad grew up very poor in one of the provinces, but after scoring in the top percentage of all students across the country on an exam, he got a scholarship to a prestigious science high school in Manila that was all expenses paid. My parents met in medical school, and soon after graduating, they came to the US by way of New York. Eventually, they made their way across the country to Eagle Rock in LA and then Orange County, where I grew up. 

My whole life, I thought I was going to be a doctor just like my parents. I tried my best to be the perfect daughter. I got straight A’s and took piano lessons since I was 3 and violin lessons starting at 8. (Well, actually, I got one B+ in AP/IB Physics, but we don’t talk about that B+) I studied math outside of school at Kumon and played educational computer games because it was a productive use of my time. I read medical books my parents had lying around the house and had subscriptions to science magazines in high school, for fun.

But as I grew older, there was a part of me that was starting to love writing and making people laugh. For 7th-grade vocabulary exercises, I cared more about making my sentences funny than using the word right. My favorite part about English and Spanish group projects was writing the scripts and acting in them. I wrote bad high school poetry. But I didn’t think that was an acceptable thing to want to do with my life, so I shoved that part down, deep inside me. I did write for the school newspaper and compete in speech contests and debate teams, but that was about the extent of my (public) creative life. 

But as I grew older, there was a part of me that was starting to love writing and making people laugh.

-Joy Regullano

I LOVED FEELING LIKE I COULD MAKE THE AUDIENCE LAUGH AND CRY JUST BY TELLING AN HONEST STORY

I went to UC Berkeley pre-med and was planning to take over my dad’s clinic when he retired. But in the first semester of my freshman year, I got a B on my first math test and a C on my first chem test, and I panicked. After some soul-searching, I realized I wasn’t actually passionate about any of that and ended up cycling through a bunch of different majors before landing on Theater and Southeast Asian Studies.

I wrote a play in college about a friend who had passed away in high school, and when I put it up in front of an audience, I was hooked. I loved feeling like I could make the audience laugh and cry just by telling an honest story. Just by being myself. I wanted to do that for the rest of my life. I loved Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s work so much that I couldn’t even watch them for a long time because it hurt that I wasn’t doing what they were doing. 

WHITE PARENTS: A MUSICAL INSPIRED BY MY LIFE

I wrote the book and the lyrics to a comedy musical called “Supportive White Parents” about an Asian girl who tells her parents she doesn’t want to be a doctor anymore, and when they’re disappointed, she wishes on a shooting star for supportive white parents. Eventually, she learns to love her Filipino parents for who they are. My friends Sam Johnides and Tony Gonzalez wrote the music.

The musical was inspired by my life. When I told my parents I didn’t want to be a doctor like them and take over my dad’s clinic, my dad yelled at me, called me selfish, and didn’t talk to me for 8 months. I was absolutely devastated, even though I knew that making people laugh and cry was what I had been put on this earth to do. 

I felt so jealous of my white theater classmates with their seemingly endlessly supportive white parents. And funny enough, they were jealous of me because I had something called “discipline”, played multiple instruments, and knew other languages. And thus, the seed of a musical was born.

Eventually, she learns to love her Filipino parents for who they are.

-Joy Regullano

LAUGHING AT OURSELVES CAN BE ONE OF THE BEST WAYS TO HEAL

There aren’t many Asian American musicals, let alone comedy Asian American musicals. One of my teachers says that comedy is the back door to the truth. I think that laughing at ourselves can be one of the best ways to heal, as well as realizing that we are not alone. 

We as a generation are going through this together, and also, we, as well as our parents, are the products of society and intergenerational trauma. We are all imperfect people who are trying the best we can with the tools we have. 

ACCEPTANCE IS THE QUICKEST WAY TO SANITY AND PEACE

I love the serenity prayer. There are some things that we can change, and we should do what we can to change those things. There are some things we can’t change, and it’ll drive you crazy trying to. You can’t control other people. You can only control yourself. The sooner you can accept other people are how they are, the sooner you’ll stop giving your energy away. 

Also, one thing I learned that blew my mind is that it’s actually not love, to wish that your parents or family were different than who they are. If what I was asking from them was to love me for exactly who I am, with all my imperfections, isn’t that what I should be giving them too? Unconditional love and acceptance? (That’s not to say that you shouldn’t have boundaries – that could be a whole other article.) But accepting things you can’t change is the quickest way to sanity and peace. 

If what I was asking from them was to love me for exactly who I am, with all my imperfections, isn’t that what I should be giving them too?

-Joy Regullano

It’s a daily practice. But try it! After reading “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck”, I tried to imagine that I only had one f– to give a day. How much energy would I be saving by only getting bent out of shape over the most important things!? I’m not really good at giving only one f– a day. But I’ll keep trying.

One more thing – some people need to be angry before they move to acceptance. I know I did, and I still feel angry sometimes. Accepting yourself and your feelings is part of the process too. Wherever you are in your journey is okay.

CONNECT WITH JOY

Instagram: @supportivewhiteparents @joyregullano

Twitter: @swpmusical @joyregullano

Website: www.supportivewhiteparents.com

Be on the lookout for the upcoming Supportive White Parent concept album, to be released in January 2023, with singles leading up to it! 

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A Google executive has confirmed that the format of TikTok is changing the way that young people conduct internet searches, and Google is working to keep up with these changes. 

According to data that was initially discovered within Google and reported by TechCrunch, nearly 40% of members of Gen Z prefer to search using TikTok as well as Instagram rather than Google Search and Maps when they are looking for a place to eat lunch.

Google has now confirmed this figure to Insider and has acknowledged that they face stiff competition from a variety of sources, including general and specialized search engines, as well as apps that are designed specifically for searching. 

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Former King 5 Anchor Lori Matsukawa Receives One Of Japan’s Highest Honors

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The award was for her contribution to promoting Japan-U.S. friendship. “This is a true honor and thrill for me because for the last several years, I’ve been really working hard to connect people in Japan and people in the United States on a person-to-person basis,” Matsukawa told KING 5.

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Renowned NYC Little Tokyo Restaurateur Faces $95M Sexual Assault Lawsuit

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Recession, Pandemic Won’t Stop This Momma Baker For Taking On New Opportunities

Have you ever thought of opening a business during a recession? How about during the pandemic? Well, this lionhearted momma just did that!

Filipino-American Mariel Black started her baking business, Sinful Treats, in June 2009, at the peak of the recession — everyone thought she was crazy to start a business at that time. She had only one product to sell, some unknown Filipino pastry called ‘Food for the Gods’. “No one knew what it was. I had to tell people, ‘it’s like a blondie with dates and walnuts’” she said. Starting out as an online bakery, she gave out samples to whoever was open to trying her product. People never heard of it, but once they tasted it, they loved it! 

Because everyone was hurting during the recession, she found that people were more inclined to help each other. Soon, a few coffee shops agreed to carry her products, and she also kept selling online.

“This photo marks the beginning of our Sinful Treats adventure. My boys have been involved since Day 1.” -Mariel

Her big break came in 2011 when the Railroad Museum in Old Sacramento ordered 19,800 Snickerdoodle cookies for their main holiday event, The Polar Express. A year before that, she took her 4-year-old son on the train ride, where they served cookies and hot cocoa just like in the movie, Polar Express. He took one bite of the cookie, then he told her that she should make the cookies. “Ah, the power of suggestion, from a 4-year-old!” Mariel exclaimed. 

She talked to the coordinators and gave them cookie samples and they loved them. The following year, they ordered 19,800 Snickerdoodles. “I said YES, even if at that time,” she said, “I had no kitchen and no employees to help me. I had a couple of months to figure out how to make it happen.”

She rented a kitchen in a restaurant at night and asked friends to help, “I had a crew of 5 people. Like little elves, we’d bake all night while the restaurant was closed.” They only had one oven with 2 racks, only able to bake 48 cookies every 12 minutes. The cookies were baked from scratch, scooped by hand, packaged individually, sealed with a heat sealer, and labeled — all 19,800 of them! 

“It was the most exhausting but exhilarating experience. It was then I knew that I loved the thrill and pain that came with being a business owner.” She’s been baking for the Railroad Museum since then.

“Ah, the power of suggestion, from a 4-year-old!”

-Mariel black

Sinful Treats grew to have its own retail location a few years later and became a full-service bakery and catering company. They created and launched their first baking mix in 2015 with their signature product, “the treat that started it all” — Food for the Gods Baking Mix.

The year 2020 would have been their 10th year baking for the museum, “but 2020 had a different plan for all of us” she said. All of their Fall and Holiday events have been canceled. “Being in the baking business, our fourth quarter is when we make the most. Suddenly, all of it was gone. Having survived and thrived during the recession, I can honestly say this year, this pandemic is a lot harder than the recession.”

But the lockdown didn’t stop Mariel to continue her passion, rather she pursued another idea – to have a one-stop shop for baked goods. “Recession, pandemic, lockdowns won’t stop me. There are always opportunities even in the worse scenarios.” 

In October 2020, she launched an online marketplace where local bakers can sell their products and grow their small businesses. Sinful Treats is now home to the best local brands. Mariel’s goal is to empower small business owners, especially women and minority-owned businesses. All Bakers and Food Makers who have something special and have unique products to offer are welcome to join, “The food industry is already very competitive, but we are stronger together. So my hope is that through this marketplace, we can all help each other grow.” They ship cakes, cookies, desserts, and gourmet food across the United States.

Sinful Treats’ Business Partners

“The food industry is already very competitive, but we are stronger together. So my hope is that through this marketplace, we can all help each other grow.”

-Mariel black

“Everything I have worked for seemed to be a stepping stone to what I’m doing now,” she said, “Having a brand that’s already established, a working website, products that have been tried and proven, years of networking and relationship building, all of this and more are now helping to make this new path easier to take and faster to grow.”

Mariel always gets a thrill watching businesses grow, she also shares over a decade of her experience and wisdom with new small business owners. “I love baking, but my real passion is business”. She guides her marketplace sellers with what they need; teaching them about branding, pricing, basic accounting, packaging, shipping, and even how to improve their products and come up with new ones.  

“I always tell my kids, when something bad happens, it’s usually a blessing in disguise,” she added, “True entrepreneurs find opportunity even in the worst scenarios.” 

Website: sinfultreats.net

Instagram: @sinfultreats

Facebook: Sinful Treats

Twitter: @SinfulTreats